Chapter 31 Kieran
Kieran
“Kieran, stop the coach. Let’s talk for a moment,” Gen says, her tone measured, as if she’s trying to be reasonable without losing her temper. From her expression, I can tell she didn’t expect me to direct the carriage away from Fairbright.
“No, I don’t think I will. You were the one who ran toward me, after all.”
I still can’t quite believe it. When I first saw her, she avoided my gaze—as usual. Denying our connection has been her plan all along.
She shakes her head in frustration, her loose curls bouncing. “I ran to tell you I want you to stay, so we can make arrangements for me to travel to the mines—not for you to kidnap me.”
I chuckle, leaning back in my seat, trying to hide the way my heart barrels against my ribs. Gen ran to me. She left Leland and chose me. My nineteen-year-old self used to dream of this—of her choosing me over the crown, over her duty, over her mother’s expectations.
As the carriage rattles through the bustling streets of Crawford, I say, “Princess, I had no intention of staying. I have business to attend to in the north. In fact, this little turn of events is perfect. I’ve been telling the queen we need a representative to inspect the mines, but she hasn’t taken my request seriously. ”
Her eyes widen in surprise. “I want to join you—that’s what I was coming to suggest. But I have nothing packed, and it’s supposed to be dangerous! I need to speak with my mother.”
I shrug. “If it’s too dangerous for you, then why do you allow your citizens to work there?”
Her lips purse. For a long moment she says nothing.
Finally, in a softer tone, she replies, “Kieran, please take me back. I’d be happy to go north with you, but not like this.
I didn’t mean to imply that I was above anyone who works in those mines.
I want to help, truly—but not like this.
Let me make plans and coordinate a proper tour. ”
I shake my head. “Come with me now. Forget the plans. Show me you actually want to improve Naseria.”
“My mother will be furious. She’s already going to be apoplectic when she finds out the engagement is off. She’s going to think I ran away with you!”
The engagement is off?
I suspected as much when I saw her running toward me, but hearing the words from her lips sends a rush through my veins. She didn’t go through with it, whether by her choice or not.
“Well,” I tease, “you did run toward me, so it could accurately be considered running away.”
She groans, burying her face in her hands. It’s the same gesture she used to make whenever I pushed her too far. Back then, it was usually when my plans for us crossed one of the countless boundaries of propriety that ruled her every waking moment.
“Surely Prince Leland can explain this in a way that doesn’t look like an absolute disaster.” She exhales, lifting her head with a weary sigh. “Why did I behave so impulsively?”
The carriage rattles as we take the northerly highway toward the mines. The rolling hills beyond Crawford open before us in a verdant mosaic of farmland and open pasture.
“You’ve never done well with impulsive decisions, have you, Princess?”
She closes her eyes, leaning back and letting her hand fall so close to mine I can almost feel the silk. “Don’t tease me, you horrid man.”
I chuckle, wrapping my hand around hers. “It’s true, isn’t it? Remember when we were ten and decided to go swimming in the lake? It was your idea, if I recall. Astoria tried to talk you into asking permission first, but you insisted as the future queen, you could make your own decisions.”
She squeezes my hand and lets out a small laugh. “I ruined my silk gown, but my lady’s maid didn’t tell Mother. I felt guilty for weeks for being dishonest.”
I stroke her gloved hand in mine, the weight of her engagement ring pressing between us. “There’s never been a more serious child—always thinking of expectations and following orders.”
“I don’t think I would have had any fun at all if it weren’t for you and Gabe. You were my everything, Kieran.”
She looks at me with a softness I’ve only caught glimpses of since I returned to her. But this time it lingers, her deep sapphire eyes studying me like I’m a puzzle she can’t quite solve.
I slowly slip her glove from her fingers, and she doesn’t stop me.
Not even when I tug the heavy stone from her ring finger and slide the ring into my pocket.
She stares at me with eyes that seem to enchant me into doing whatever she asks.
She’s always had this power over me, and I’m beginning to realize she always will.
She looks down at her bare hand, stretching it in front of us before reaching for her glove and sliding it back on with a muffled huff.
Turning her head, she looks out at the countryside rolling by. “I’m already failing, and I haven’t even taken the throne. I can’t even have a proper wedding.”
I reach for her hand, turning her toward me.
“You’re trying. Your people don’t need a marital alliance and a brood of heirs.
They need a queen who cares about them—whether they live in Crawford or on the northern coast, whether they have red blood or blue blood.
Don’t you see that’s what actually matters? ”
She closes her eyes, shaking her head. “I’ve always been told the most important thing I can do is ensure the blueblood line continues—to preserve our family’s lineage—and that the rest can be left to my council. My worth is in making this alliance and leaving a strong legacy.”
Her words disgust me, and I want to shake her, to make her see that she could be so much more than this. She’s been fed this lie all her life, and it’s so deeply ingrained that I don’t know how to untangle the falsehoods she’s turned into truths.
“Gen, you’re like a blossom cursed—cursed to wilt into rot and never bloom into your true potential. If you truly think your worth is as shallow as making an advantageous marriage, then I’ll turn this coach around and bring you back so you can rot with the rest of this forsaken kingdom.”
She looks at me, her eyes shimmering with tears. “I’m frightened. Nothing has gone according to my plans, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to be everything this kingdom needs.”
“Then forge yourself into it! Starting with taking what you actually want!”
Her expression shifts into something hungry, something I’ve longed to see in her.
There’s the fire I know lives within her, the iron resolve buried beneath years of self-doubt.
“You’re right. You’ve always been right about that,” she says.
Gen shifts on the bench, seizing my shirt and pulling me into a searing kiss. A kiss so powerful I tumble headlong into the unrequited desire I’ve been holding inside for far too long.