Chapter 9
D espite the fact that he hadn’t truly belonged in the world where his father had raised him, Silas had developed friendships there.
There were gentlemen, even those with title, who were wild and fun and didn’t count his parentage as his only value.
And a day after his encounter with Reggie, a day after Arabella had all but dismissed him, he was seated with one at Fitzhugh’s, a club he found far superior to the stuffier White’s.
The Earl of Ramsbury had once had a wild reputation that nearly rivaled Silas’s own. But upon his return to London, he’d discovered his old friend was now married and, he shuddered, settled . Still, they’d fallen into good conversation and better whisky like no time had passed.
“It’s good to have you home,” Ramsbury said with a little smile when there was a lull in conversation.
Silas smirked. “Well, I’d say it’s good to be home but…” He trailed off and yet his mind rushed to Arabella. The time they’d spent together had made his return much better, after all. She was the bright spot in this dimness.
“You came to handle things with your family, yes?” Ramsbury said, and speared Silas with a long glance.
He shifted beneath it and stared into what remained of the amber liquid in his glass. “I don’t know. Yes.”
There was a silence long enough that Silas looked up from his drink and found Ramsbury watching him far too closely. “And you’re avoiding them,” the earl said.
Silas arched a brow. “How do you know that?”
“I know everything,” Ramsbury said.
“God, you’re insufferable now that you’re married,” Silas grumbled.
Ramsbury laughed. “Don’t disparage Marianne with your grumpiness. She isn’t the reason I can see right through you.”
“No, I suppose not. Though how you managed to land yourself Delacourt’s sister after he so strenuously warned you off her all those years is beyond me. But as far as my family goes, I suppose they would tell you I’m best at avoiding everything, yes?”
“They wouldn’t be wrong, considering this conversation.” Ramsbury sipped his drink.
Silas threw up his hands. “Fine. Yes. I’m avoiding them.”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t,” Ramsbury suggested, leaning forward on the edge of his chair. “Perhaps you have a chance here and now to form some real bonds with your brothers and sister. The ones that circumstances prevented when you were all children.”
“God, I thought you were supposed to be the fun one, Ramsbury.”
He smiled a little. “All my fun comes from home, I fear. From her.”
Silas wrinkled his brow. He’d known this man most of his life, and even though what Ramsbury was describing was something that would have once made his skin crawl, today there was a peace to him. A quiet joy to the way he declared he’d surrendered his old life and now made a new one.
And as inexplicable as that was to Silas, he also felt envious of it. Of the certainty that seemed to erase all pain and fear and doubt.
He found himself thinking of Arabella again and shoved those thoughts aside with violence. She was a lark and while he certainly was having fun with her, she had no place in these reflections. She’d made that clear when she slipped from his parlor the previous afternoon.
“I know you’re right,” he said slowly.
“That must have taken a great deal to admit that,” Ramsbury said with a long laugh.
“You’ve no idea,” Silas said, and laughed with him. “God, those words are actually bitter in my mouth. Let’s change the subject.”
“I hear you’ve been spending some time with Arabella Comerford,” Ramsbury said.
Silas rolled his eyes. “The rumor mill is in full swing, I see.”
“Your race through Hyde Park was well-documented in several gossip rags.”
“Yes.” Silas had seen those reports. The scandal sheets that were delivered to the eager hands of those in high Society often didn’t fully reveal the identities of those they wrote about. But there were always enough clues to determine the names. What was the fun if one couldn’t?
Ramsbury shrugged and continued, “And even if it weren’t, there’s a great deal of interest amongst certain parties when it comes to her and whoever will be her next protector. You can’t help but hear about it.”
“I suppose not.”
“She’s quite a person.”
Silas nodded. “She is. It’s like catching lightning in your hands.”
“Hmmm. Interesting.”
Ramsbury’s gaze had gone speculative. He nudged his friend’s boot with his none too gently. “Oh, fuck off.”
“Excuse me, my lord, Mr. Windham.” The men glanced up at the servant who had stepped into their space, a tray balanced in his hand. “You have a message, Mr. Windham.”
Silas shot Ramsbury a glance of confusion but took the message and thanked the servant. When the man had stepped away, he gave his friend a look of confusion. “It’s not a secret I’m here, but I’ve no idea who would send a message to me.”
He thought briefly of one of his brothers and flinched. Neither of them held a membership at Fitzhugh’s, but it seemed to fit the form of their strained bonds.
He turned the missive over and found that the wax seal was a flourished C . He looked again at his name on the front of the envelope. It was written in a feminine hand.
Arabella.
He opened it and read:
Silas,
I find myself wanting a partner at Flynn’s tonight for some gaming. Are you available?
Arabella
He found himself reading the message again. Well, it wasn’t an invitation for a big bath and an intimate supper. He shouldn’t have been disappointed, but found himself exactly that.
“From that look on your face I’d say it’s not an unpleasant message,” Ramsbury said with a chuckle. “Perhaps that very interesting lady is calling for you, and you are off to dance to her tune, it seems.”
“As long as she’ll play it,” Silas said and laughed along with him. “You couldn’t deny a woman like that even if you wished to do so. I hope we can see each other soon, Ramsbury.”
“Perhaps you can join Marianne and me for supper one night.” Ramsbury rose and shook his hand. “It is good to have you back.”
Silas slapped his friend’s arm and then hustled from the club. He had a good deal to do to prepare for his next night with Arabella. And a good deal to conceal about just how excited he was to do just that.
* * *
A rabella was putting the final touches to her hair, winding a few bright red flowers into the wonderful work her maid had done for her.
She’d grown up with maids, of course, and was accustomed to having a great deal done for her, and yet there was an independent part of her that didn’t want to depend too much on anyone.
Or give anyone too much power, even just over her toilette.
There was a light knock on her door and she called out, “Come in.”
Julia stepped into the room and Arabella faced her briefly. Her sister was in a plain gown, nothing meant for the hunt, and her hair was done simply. She looked young and fresh, just as she always had.
“Oh, look at you,” Julia said, and rushed over to stand beside her at the dressing table. “I love those flowers. Would you like me to put a few in the back?”
“Thank you, yes,” Arabella said, and turned toward her mirror as she handed over some of the pins. Julia leaned in to take a flower and Arabella watched her in the reflection. “You’re not going out tonight?”
Julia glanced up at her, their eyes locking in the glass. “I wasn’t planning to. I’m knee deep in the most remarkable romance and I cannot wait to see what fantastically gothic thing will happen to the heroine next.”
She fussed with Arabella’s hair a minute longer before Arabella said, “You know, you don’t have to follow the path Evelina and I have taken. You can just stop. I have the means to continue to protect you and you could decide to do something else.”
“Like what?” Julia asked with a laugh that sounded like it was filled with little humor. “I’ve been a courtesan for over two years now, and thanks to the success of my sisters, I’m not an anonymous one. I couldn’t just go back to being a lady.”
Arabella shifted. “Did I…do the wrong thing by taking you away from Father’s house? By rushing in to break up the wedding he arranged?”
Certainly her father thought so. His wretched letters, including the one she’d received that very morning, always followed the same pattern where he accused her of ruining him, ruining Evelina and Julia.
Ruining everything . Arabella tried not to be affected by those heated, cruel, even violent screeds, but occasionally they hit a nerve.
Julia’s hands faltered. “God, no. He was trying to marry me off to a man in his seventies, a man who used to…to paw me and smelled of sick half the time. It was awful. You and Evelina arriving at my window and sweeping me away was the best thing you could have done. I’m afraid I sounded ungrateful and I’m sorry. ”
Arabella turned to face her head on. “You have never been ungrateful in your entire sweet life. But I chose this life with my full heart. And Evelina ran away of her own volition. That you wanted to escape from Father’s grasp doesn’t follow that you wanted to be a courtesan like your sisters. If your heart isn’t in it…”
Julia shook her head. “It is. It’s in it. I just want to find my Harry, like Evelina has. A man who is dedicated and wants to keep me. Someone who cares.”
Arabella bit her tongue. Julia was only twenty and she idealized Evelina’s arrangement with her duke almost as much as Evelina did, herself.
But Arabella sometimes wondered if it was the best option.
And if her sister, perhaps both her sisters, would end up heartbroken by expecting these kinds of things to last.
That made her think of Silas and she frowned as she turned back to the mirror to allow Julia to finish pinning the flowers in her hair.
She had to keep reminding herself to not get too close to the man who had been her fantasy for years.
She couldn’t fall into the same trap she worried about for her sisters.
“Do you mind if I ask you something?”
Arabella blinked and refocused on Julia. “Anything in the world. We three don’t keep secrets, do we?”
“Where exactly have you been spending your time lately, Arabella?” Julia asked. She stepped back from her work. “There, I think that’s perfect. Not too many but enough to draw the eye.”
“That’s the preferred effect,” Arabella said, and stood up. “And what do you mean where have I been spending my time?”
Julia laughed. “You think me innocent despite all this.” She waved her hand around the room. “But I’m not foolish. You spent several nights away from home and I heard about you racing with that man, the one you mooned over all that time. It was in all the papers.”
“Silas Windham. Are you pretending not to know his name?” Arabella asked.
“I don’t remember any of their names until they become important,” Julia said with a shrug. “Is that who you’ve been out with?”
“Yes.” It was odd that the admission gave away nothing and yet it felt vulnerable regardless. “You know I’m having an affair with him.”
“Still not an arrangement?” There was a disapproving quality in her sister’s soft question.
“No, as I said before it’s just a bit of fun on my own terms.”
Julia’s brow wrinkled but she murmured, “I see.”
Arabella grasped her sister’s hands. “Why don’t you come with me to Flynn’s tonight? I’ll give you a little blunt to gamble with.”
“And I assume you’ll also push me toward any man you think might be a good fit?”
“I haven’t since you parted ways with that last one…the baronet.”
“Lloyd,” Julia said softly. “No, I suppose you haven’t.”
“I just want you to come out, not lock yourself up and read all night. Have fun with me.”
“And meet your fantasy man?”
Arabella froze. That would be, she supposed, the side effect of the invitation. And while plenty of men had met her sisters over the years, they were somewhat of a package collection, after all, the idea that Silas would come in contact with Julia felt…different. Charged in some way.
“Yes. But you must behave yourself and not ask him a thousand questions and tell him awful stories about how I mooned over him.” Arabella laughed. “He already knows that anyway.”
Julia seemed to consider the suggestion a moment and then she threw up her hands. “Fine. I’ll come along. How long to I have to ready myself?”
“As long as you need,” Arabella said. “I rule the roost at Flynn’s. I can be as late as I wish.”
Julia rolled her eyes at that declaration and grabbed Arabella’s hand. “Well, come with me then and help me find something to wear.”
Arabella went with her, giggling as they had as girls, at least in the times that their father hadn’t been looming over, threatening and controlling. They would have fun tonight. And then she would have a very different kind of fun with Silas once she reached the hell.