Chapter 17
A s they entered the foyer, Poole came into the space, still looking sour. Silas nodded to him. “My sister’s carriage, please.”
The butler left to make the arrangement and that left Silas alone with Phoebe. “You must have something to say,” he said, feeling nervous and breathless as he waited.
She nodded. “My God, what a beauty she is. But I think that’s not what draws you, or not entirely. The woman is impossible not to like. Not to mention, there’s something between you that practically crackles.”
He tilted his head. “But?”
She blinked up at him. “What makes you think there’s a ‘but’ that goes along with all those observations?”
“Because you know what she is. And even though I’m not of your world, she isn’t either. I know what you and our brothers asked of me and it most definitely includes many less charitable thoughts about her than what you’ve expressed.”
“I have no uncharitable thoughts about Miss Comerford,” Phoebe said.
“Our brothers have been able to choose their wives…or lack thereof…and futures. That is a privilege and one they may not fully grasp. But having not had that option, at least not for my first marriage, I have a very different view about love and happiness. I don’t know your intentions with this woman or hers with you, but if you were to make her a more permanent fixture in your life, I wouldn’t say a word against it.
In fact, I’d very much support it, especially if it kept you in London. ”
Silas glanced back over his shoulder, in the direction of the parlor.
He’d never sought acceptance for anything he did in his life, but right now Phoebe offered it.
And somehow it mattered. Just like Arabella mattered, more than just a lover, more than just a friend.
In the time they’d connected, she’d grown to matter a great deal more.
“I always appreciate your support.”
“And I offer it. But not just in private. I should have said something at our gathering last week. I should have spoken up in your defense to Charlie and Reg. I’ll do that now.
I’m going to tell them again that I disagree with their edict that you must change yourself in order to fit into our family. ”
He wrinkled his brow in confusion and shock and, yes, happiness. “You’d be my defender?”
“If you need one? Always,” Phoebe said, then lifted up to kiss his cheek. “Better go back to her. I’m sure she’s waiting to talk to you about this and be reassured I wasn’t offended by her very existence. Which, of course, I’m not. I hope we’ll see each other soon.”
The carriage pulled up then and Silas watched as his sister was helped up into the rig. She waved from the open window as she pulled away and he was left alone with his thoughts.
And alone with the woman he wanted to be with more than anyone else in the world. He just hoped that the reason she’d descended upon his home today was a good one.
* * *
A rabella’s hands shook as she paced the parlor waiting for Silas to return after his farewells to his sister. She had come here to end things with him after her talk with Simone and the fact that his sister had been with him had thrown off her entire plan.
Truth be told, his presence threw her off. The moment she’d looked up to find him entering the foyer, defending her against the butler, her heart had started pounding and all her certainty about what she must do had faded.
She didn’t want to walk away. The very thought of it made her chest ache and her eyes sting.
Silas returned to the parlor and shut the door behind him.
Without a word, he crossed to her and gathered her up in his arms. His mouth came down on hers, firm and warm.
The kiss was gentle at first, then deepened until her breath seemed to fall away from her lungs and all there was in the world was him.
At last he parted from her and smiled down into her face. “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I realized you were here,” he admitted.
She smiled. “I cannot imagine your sister would have been quite so polite to me had you started out that way.”
He set her aside gently and shrugged. “I’m not so certain. She told me before she left that she likes you. And given that she told you something about her marriage that I didn’t even know, I think all her connection to you was very real.”
She frowned. “I am sorry about that, Silas. About her first marriage and that you didn’t know what kind of man he was.”
His expression looked so pained in that moment, so filled with real love for his sister. It put her to mind of her own feelings for Julia and Evelina. And the heartbreak when she couldn’t protect them from harm.
“I wish I’d known. I’d have done anything to keep her from that pain.”
“That I do understand,” she said. “But sometimes you can’t save someone you love. And it seems like she ended up happy enough in her second marriage.”
“Yes. It’s been two years since he died and she still mourns him and wears his ring. She truly loved him and he her. I’m glad she got to experience that in her life, even though she lost it.”
They stared at each other a moment. Suddenly the air felt thicker, like those words hung there as an accusation between them.
He cleared his throat at last. “Do you mind if I ask you why you came today? I don’t think I was expecting you.”
“You weren’t,” she said. “I was just at—at Simone’s before this.”
“Oh,” he said with a smile. “And you two were talking about me, comparing notes on my prowess and you had to rush right over?”
She froze. He was teasing her and she should have laughed, but she couldn’t. He was too close to the truth.
He moved closer. “Arabella, what is it?”
She stared up at him, memorizing every gorgeous line of his angled face, the brightness of his green eyes. She wanted to collect it all to store for when she finally found the bravery to walk away and save them both.
But it wasn’t going to be today. Even if that had been the intention.
“Nothing,” she said with a shake of her head.
“I’m just still trying to get my mind around having a polite conversation with your sister, that’s all.
No, I came here to—to invite you to supper tonight.
My sisters will both be there and I’d love you to join us.
And afterward, we could share that big bath I’ve been dangling before you since we started this. ”
He nodded. “Supper with your family and that big bath both sound wonderful.”
“I suppose I could have sent you a note to invite you,” she said, even as she hoped she could manage to get Julia and Evelina to join her for supper. Hoped her staff could put together this last-minute gathering with no trouble.
“I’m glad you came.” He caught her hand and drew her closer. “Are you certain your well, Arabella? You have the strangest look on your face.”
She forced herself to smile, to erase whatever he saw. Whatever she couldn’t reveal when her head was spinning and her heart was too full of him. “I’m simply planning for our night together. And so I must go to finish all my preparations.”
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. His warm breath sent shivers through her, reminding her that he could make her want in a heartbeat. Wasn’t that what she was supposed to do to him?
“Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay a little while? Come up to my room?”
She swatted at his chest lightly. “As tempting as that is, I think you must learn to wait, Mr. Windham. I’ll make it worthwhile.”
“I’ve never had a doubt about that,” he said, and guided her to the foyer.
But even as they said their farewells and she was off and on her way, she was plagued by thoughts of what she had to do. But she would take this one last night. She’d make it worthwhile before she shattered the dreamworld between them and went back to reality.
* * *
H ours later, it was all arranged. Arabella shouldn’t have doubted it, though.
Her servants were a wonder and had made certain everything was perfect.
And she had never called for her sisters without them being there for her.
They had answered in the affirmative without hesitation or even question at the lateness and desperateness of the invitation.
So as she paced her parlor, watching the clock and the door for Silas’s arrival, she felt Julia and Evelina watching her.
“Are you truly nervous about a man ?” Julia asked, the teasing in her tone light.
Arabella stopped pacing and pivoted toward her youngest sister. “Of course not!”
Julia laughed, but Evelina’s eyes narrowed. “We’ve both met him already. It isn’t as if you have to worry about our feelings. We both like him.”
Julia nodded. “Yes. He’s undeniably handsome, I think the most handsome man you’ve ever had as a lover.”
“That’s more than true,” Arabella said softly.
“And he’s well-matched to you,” Julia continued. “You’re both…both…”
“Fire,” Evelina supplied.
Arabella flinched. Although she didn’t dispute the description, she wasn’t certain it was a positive one. “Perhaps two fires is too much,” she said.
“You’ve never been too much,” Evelina said, and crossed to the room to take both her hands. “Never.”
Arabella smiled at the support. She needed it, after all.
Her sisters believed she was nervous about seeing Silas, and that was true on some level.
Whenever she saw him after they were parted she felt a thrill of excitement and anxiousness that seemed to make her entire body thrum.
But that wasn’t why she paced or worried tonight.
She had to end things with him. Her decision hadn’t changed. She got to have this one last night with him and then she’d have to say goodbye. If she couldn’t, then the affection that was starting to grow would fully turn to love. Love didn’t end well for courtesans, it never had.
Well, not never. But mostly.
“Mr. Windham,” Barnaby said from the door with a wide smile for them.