Chapter 5
Elara
A crow shrieked in the distance, and I crossed my arms to keep from shivering, despite all my warm layers of clothing.
The air was cold enough that I could see my own breath.
I stared at the gravestone that was inscribed with Ray’s name.
Members of the royal family were usually buried in the crypts beneath the palace and there was a cemetery in town, but I knew if Ray could choose, he wouldn’t want to be buried in any of those places.
Ray loved the forest. His life was the forest.
I never got the chance to give my friend a proper funeral. But I was grateful that, at the very least, his body now rested in a place he would have wanted.
I had arranged for a grave to be dug on the outskirts of the forest with a heavy marble gravestone resting on top.
Ray would have probably said it was too extravagant. I smiled at the thought.
With my gloved hands, I placed a bunch of daisies on top of the grave. Part of me was reluctant to believe that it was my oldest friend lying there beneath the earth. It didn’t feel real. None of what we were going through felt real. So much had changed in so little time.
“Oh, Ray.” Just saying his name out loud created a pang in my chest. “How did we find ourselves here?”
I brushed a few stray leaves away from the gravestone.
“Everything is such a mess and it feels like I have nobody to talk to,” I confessed.
“The situation is so dire, and everyone is looking at me for answers.” The council was rushing me for a decision — all while, in the back of my mind, I knew I could be expendable as well.
“I need Cai more than ever and he can’t even look at me.
” My voice cracked a little and I sniffed in the cold winter air.
My eyes wandered to the trees around me and into the distance where the forest grew deeper.
It was entering its annual slumber — I could feel it.
I couldn’t even hear the birds singing anymore.
I looked back to the grave with melancholy when a cool breeze rose up and slithered past me.
Come. The wind whispered against my skin.
You belong here in the forest.
If I hadn’t known better, I might have thought it to be my imagination. But I wasn’t afraid. Though this place could be dangerous, it had been my home for so long. I’d started to realise, quite some time ago, that it may have protected me in many ways, from a young age.
I looked to where my horse was tied to a nearby tree.
A year ago, or even six months ago, I would not have hesitated.
I would have run away from everything and everyone.
I would have ridden deep into the forest and never looked back.
But Cai was right about one thing: I wasn’t that girl anymore — and I didn’t think I could ever go back to her.
“I wish you were here to give me some advice.” I turned my gaze back to the grave and a sad smile crept onto my face. “You would probably say that I should tell them all to go to hell.” I sniffed again, the cold air pinching my cheeks.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Ray. I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”
The crunching of footsteps on the forest floor drew my attention. Someone wanted me to know they were coming. I looked over my shoulder to see Rhen making his way towards me while leading his horse.
I’d told him I would be coming out here so that no one would worry but I’d also given specific instructions that I wanted to be left alone.
“I haven’t been gone that long,” I called out as he neared me. “Surely war hasn’t broken out already.”
Rhen stopped close to my mare. “Thankfully not.” He sounded a little out of breath. “I do have some other important news, though.”
“What could be so important that you had to ride all this way to tell me?” A list of possibilities popped into my mind and none of them were good.
“It’s your sister,” Rhen replied. “She’s awake.”
* * *
Eloisa had been in a sleeping state since Cordelia and Anesta had arrived with her at the palace.
We were all surprised to find out she’d been in Argon all those months, and I had no doubt King Aries had had something to do with it.
Eloisa was in no state to talk about her stay in Argon, and then she had taken ill on the journey back to Norrandale.
It got so bad that the physician told us she might never wake from her sleep.
I was nervous to see her again. Especially after our initial encounters had been less than comfortable. There was no telling what she would do.
Lance seemed unaffected by all of this. According to him, this behaviour was completely normal. It was clear why Princess Eloisa had stayed out of the public eye for most of her life. She was in no way able to perform any of her royal duties.
Maybe it was the warmth of the palace interior or my ever-growing nerves, but I was starting to feel too hot.
With my gloved hands, I yanked on the ties of my cloak but only managed to tangle them further.
I let out a groan of frustration and Rhen, who had been walking next to me this whole time, stepped in front of me.
“May I, Your Majesty?” He gestured to the knot around my neck.
I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to admit defeat.
“Very well.” I sighed and dropped my hands. Rhen started working on the knot, his eyes focused on the task at hand.
“Would it make me the worst person in the world if I’m not overcome with joy to see my sister?”
“Your situation is . . .” He searched for the right word. “Complex.”
“Perhaps things would be different if we could actually get to know each other but with Eloisa’s illness . . .” I trailed off.
“I know,” Rhen replied, managing to pull the ties of my cloak free. He helped me take it off and draped the heavy piece of material over his arm.
“According to Lance, she wasn’t always as . . .” I searched for the right word. “. . . ill as she is now. It’s got worse, slowly, over the years. But he doesn’t seem overly concerned.”
“That’s because Lance is too hungover every morning to care.”
A slightly less significant problem in a very long list of problems. Rhen and I made our way up the white marble stairs and towards the east wing of the palace.
Eloisa’s sleeping quarters had been set up in one of the rooms furthest away from any possible commotion. She also had a nurse looking after her.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” I responded. “One royal problem at a time.”
“Fair enough.” Though there was no need for it, Rhen made a habit of avoiding Lance since he’d imprisoned Rhen all that time ago. In all fairness, Rhen did commit treason by aiding the rebellion, and I doubted Lance had ever truly moved on from that betrayal.
The maroon-wallpapered corridors grew smaller the further we walked. Rhen trailed a good distance behind me now, as was probably more appropriate.
I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until we stopped in front of Eloisa’s doors.
Rhen knocked for me, and Eloisa’s nurse, Agatha, opened the door. She was a sweet older lady with a wrinkled smile and a few grey hairs peeking out from her bun.
“Your Majesty.” She quickly bowed.
“I heard our patient is awake.” I forced an optimistic smile.
“She is, Your Majesty.” Agatha stepped aside to let us in. “But I’m afraid she’s not very talkative yet.”
Fine by me. Though Eloisa’s room had many windows, most of the curtains were shut, allowing only a little bit of light to creep in. On the far side of the room, her figure was enveloped in layers of blankets, beneath the canopy of her bed.
Eloisa sat upright but she made no eye contact as we entered.
“Should I wait outside?” Rhen offered but I shook my head.
“No, I want you to stay.” I wasn’t ready to face her alone and I wished more than anything that Cai was here with me. Rhen nodded and resumed a soldier-like stance as I turned and approached the bed.
“Hello, Eloisa.” She was staring at the bedding as if there was something terribly interesting about it. I stopped next to the bed. “We’re glad to see you’re awake.”
She made no attempt to acknowledge me.
“Are you feeling better?”
Her pale face turned to the window, which gave her a view of the stables and part of the training grounds.
“Would you like me to open the window?” Even though she didn’t respond, I walked over and unlatched it, allowing fresh winter air to creep into the room. We wouldn’t be able to keep it open for very long or we’d be putting Eloisa’s health at risk all over again.
“Eloisa, do you remember me?” I dared to ask, hoping to elicit some reaction out of her. But she kept staring at the window, seemingly listening to the sounds of the servants bustling outside.
“We went to Argon to come and get you. I’m your sister. Do you remember?” Nothing in her face shifted to hint at any recognition.
I turned to her nurse. “How’s her fever?”
“It seems to have come down, Your Majesty,” Agatha responded.
“Good. Keep an eye on it for me and make sure she is eating, please.” Eloisa was already so frail as it was.
“Of course, Your Majesty.”
“Where’s Lance?” A croaky voice piped up from the bed, causing us all to turn our heads.
“Where’s Lance?” Eloisa asked again, softer this time, her eyes wide.
“Uhm, I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “I haven’t seen him this morning.”
“I want my brother.” The idea that anyone ill would want Lance at their bedside as soon as they woke up was far-fetched. I wondered if Lance was capable of caring for Eloisa in a way he never could for anyone else.
“All right.” I looked at Agatha. “Have a servant call Lance, please.” She curtsied and scurried off.
“I want my brother,” Eloisa said once more and pulled her knees up to her chest. She was looking out the window again, rocking slightly back and forth.
I made eye contact with Rhen, who looked just about as confused as I felt. Agatha returned after a minute.
“I must leave. I have many commitments today, I’m afraid.”
“Of course, Your Majesty.” The nurse gave a small bow.
I started making my way towards the door but looked back over my shoulder before I walked out of the room.
Eloisa continued to rock herself while humming softly.
I considered waiting until Lance arrived, to see if she would act any differently towards him but then decided I’d rather not.
Shutting the door softly, I stood outside the room for a moment, unsure what to think.
“Are you all right, Your Majesty?” Rhen asked.
“Of course.” I shrugged it off. “Why wouldn’t I be?”