Chapter 9
Cai
I was in the forest.
Moss covered the earth in a quilt of green while my ears took in the cheerful melody of a bird somewhere high up in the branches.
The air was filled with warmth. Winter had not yet clawed its way to wherever I was. My surroundings were unfamiliar to me.
“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” A voice rose from behind me. One I could easily recognise anywhere.
I turned to face Thatcher, immediately reaching for my sword, but I was surprised to find nothing there.
Thatcher carried a smug expression. It was one I’d often seen him with, but never thought it would be in reaction to my downfall.
My oldest friend had betrayed me.
“Too bad you have nothing to protect you now.” He was right. I had no weapon but at least I was not outmanned.
My hands clenched into fists. Although I had no recollection of how or why I was there, I had only one thought — I had to stop him.
I ran forward without hesitance, but Thatcher made no attempt to move. I was about to tackle him to the ground when my arms wrapped around nothing but air, and Thatcher disappeared.
My eyes searched the trees for a trace of him. Thatcher stood a few feet away, his expression unchanged.
“Why don’t you just give up, Cai? We both knew you were never going to make it as a king anyway.”
Every word that left his mouth increased my anger.
“How could you?” I shouted, my voice echoing through the forest. “You were like my brother. How could you betray your family?”
He shrugged. “I had to do what was best for the kingdom. Gwen will learn to forgive me. She will see that you would have driven Norrandale to the ground.”
I was going to kill him.
“Here.” Thatcher pulled out a knife and tossed it on the ground before me. “I’ll make it easier on you.”
I stepped over the knife towards him. “This has to end, Thatcher.” I need you to stop haunting me, was what I didn’t say.
“Does it?”
Once more I ran at him, but he vanished into thin air just before I could reach him. This time, when I turned, Thatcher was no longer alone.
My mother was on her knees next to him as he held her by her hair. My blood ran cold. Some part of my mind knew she was already dead, that Thatcher had already killed her, but seeing her in front of me, alive and breathing, caused all rationality to escape me.
“Let her go.” I put my hands up in surrender. “Let her go and you can have anything you want.”
Thatcher let out a menacing laugh. “Don’t you get it? I already have your kingdom.”
I moved towards the two of them, but the knife was back in Thatcher’s hand.
“Ah ah,” he warned me. “Not a step closer.”
“Don’t worry, Cai, I’m fine,” my mother said. Thatcher yanked at her hair, and she let out a cry of pain.
“What do you want from me?” I asked in defeat, my eyes never leaving my mother’s pale face.
“Well, let’s see.” He played with the knife in his hands. “Why don’t we start with you admitting that I make a better king than you?”
My breathing was heavy. I felt caught between a rock and a hard place. How could I say out loud the one thing I never wanted to believe but perhaps always secretly did?
“Or how about the Evernean queen who’s probably going to leave you anyway. Do you think you deserve her?” I had once believed I could live up to the man she needed me to be. Now I wasn’t so sure.
“Please just let her go. Do you want me to beg?”
Thatcher toyed with the idea for a quick moment. “Though it might have been fun to see you on your knees, I believe I’m going to enjoy this a lot more.” Before I could move, Thatcher slit my mother’s throat.
I screamed myself awake, my voice raspy.
It wasn’t real. My eyes took in the surroundings of my bedroom.
Except it was.
Thatcher had murdered my family and taken my kingdom from me. And I couldn’t stop him. Sweat coated the skin on my back despite the fact it was winter. I brushed the sheets away from my legs. The room was pitch-black, so I assumed it was still the middle of the night.
I got up from the bed, feeling disoriented. The floor was cold beneath my feet and my stomach twisted with nausea. I’d woken up every night this past week with the exact same dream. And every time I had to watch as Thatcher killed my mother.
I tried to push the image from my mind. I would never see her face again. Never get to hear her laugh or see her smile at me.
My body shook and I was unsure if it was from the cold or the nightmare. Knowing better than to believe I was going to fall back asleep, I decided to put on some clothes.
There was a guard outside my chambers, but he pretended not to see me, and I gave him a grateful smile. I wondered if he’d heard my screaming.
The palace was dark, with only a few lamps here and there to illuminate the hallways.
I wasn’t sure exactly where I was going, but it was better than rolling around in my bed.
With everyone asleep, it was deathly quiet, and my steps created an annoying pitter-patter on the tiled floor, though I doubted I would wake anyone.
I passed a few more guards, standing quietly at their posts as they attempted to remain awake.
I made my way down the main flight of stairs.
It was almost eerie to be walking in this place at night.
The moonlight shone through the windows of the hallway to the right, illuminating the way.
I ventured past the portraits, stopping occasionally to inspect one.
After what felt like an hour, I made my way back towards my chambers.
When I passed the study close to Elara’s rooms, light creeping under the door caught my attention.
I listened for who could be inside, but it was quiet.
Who would be in the study at this hour?
I pushed the door open, and Elara looked up with surprise.
“You scared me.” She placed a hand on her chest. “I didn’t think anyone was awake.”
“Nor did I,” I admitted, somewhat sheepishly.
I closed the door behind me and stepped into the room. Elara stood behind a large, dark oak desk with papers strewn from edge to edge.
The entire room was lit with candles, a few of them already burnt out. How long had she been here?
“What are you still doing up?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged. “I figured I might as well get some work done.” I watched as Elara tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I could almost smell the sweet scent of her hair, remembering kissing her on that sensitive spot beneath her ear.
“What about you?”
“I couldn’t sleep either.” I didn’t feel like bringing up the nightmare. I just wanted to forget it.
We both looked at the many papers on her desk filled with paragraphs and paragraphs of ink. Most of the pages looked old and worn.
“Are you looking for something?”
“I don’t even know.” She sighed. “I’ve been going through old ledgers of the royal family and some of the historical archives of the kingdom.
I’m hoping that maybe there’s some more information somewhere about that diary you read about.
I’m not sure there’s actually anything of value but .
. .” She hesitated. “I can’t sit still and wait until something happens. ”
“You’re not,” I reassured her. “You’re doing everything you can to protect your kingdom.” I wished I could say the same. I’d let my pain consume me in these past months and I feared failing everyone again. What if I’d done more before it was too late? Now we could only try to salvage what was left.
I walked closer to the desk and picked up one of the pages. It was a record of the kingdom’s produce from all the farmlands fifty years ago. That definitely wasn’t going to help anyone with anything.
“I see what you mean.” I put the piece of paper back down. “Where did you even get all this?”
“In here.” She gestured to the room around us. “And Rhen got some of it from the library.” If there was any mention of the king’s diary, these old documents were a good start, but none of them appeared to have any information of value.
“Would you like me to call a servant and ask them to bring us something?”
“No,” I said quickly. “No, please don’t wake anyone.”
Elara looked at me curiously before she said, “All right.”
At the fear of saying or doing something stupid, I turned away from her and started looking through some of the books near the fireplace. I’d gone back to the library to see if there were any more books on that period but my search had come up empty.
Apart from the sound of Elara shuffling through the papers, the air was quiet and almost peaceful.
I should apologise to her. For locking myself away from the world and from her. But where would I even begin?
“Are you sure you’re all right, Cai?” she said after a minute.
“Yes.” I sighed. “I just haven’t been sleeping well these past few days.”
“Me neither,” she said very softly. There was no point in asking her if she was all right. Of course she wasn’t all right. None of this was all right.
“Did you hear about Gwen?”
I looked over my shoulder. “What about Gwen?”
Elara seemed surprised at my response. “She had a riding accident.”
“A what?” My eyes widened. “Is she okay?”
“Yes, I believe she only sprained her ankle. I’m sure she’ll be healed in no time.”
I hadn’t spoken much to Gwen in the past few weeks.
It didn’t surprise me that she’d been out riding.
Gwen was always a very good rider. But the fact that I didn’t even know that she’d had an accident and injured herself made me feel terrible.
I used to be like a brother to her and now I had no idea how she was really doing and how she was dealing with all of this.
“I’ll go and check on her in the morning,” I said, my gaze on the books.
“I think she’d appreciate that.” She began ruffling through the papers again.
“You were right, you know.” I thought back to our conversation a few nights earlier. Though Elara and I were on good terms, I knew I should be more open with her instead of isolating myself. She still needed me and I very much needed her.