Chapter 34 #3
He didn’t move his arm away from mine and, somehow, I found myself enjoying the feeling of being this close to him.
“You mean like a story?”
“My mother used to tell me stories before I went to sleep. I only remember some of them. But I used to love listening to the sound of her voice.” He looked at me then, with the saddest smile I’d ever seen a boy wear. “Tell me a story, Gwen.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly, feeling a bit of pressure at having to live up to the old queen’s stories.
This was the second time Lance had told me of his mother.
He was only a little boy when she died but it had clearly left its mark on him.
I could tell by the way he spoke of her that they were close.
“Oh, wait, I have one.” I readjusted myself and pulled the towel a little tighter around my shoulders.
“When I was very young, probably four or five, Thatcher and I were playing outside one day. It was one of the few times our family stayed at the country estate to get a little break from court. The estate was surrounded by hills, especially this one really big one. Thatcher had dared me to roll down the hill from the highest point, all the way to the bottom. It was a long way down and I knew I probably shouldn’t do it. ”
“I’m assuming you did anyway,” Lance interrupted.
“Thatcher said I was too scared, and I was going to prove him wrong.”
The corner of Lance’s mouth curled up. “Of course you were.”
“So anyway, I rolled down the hill until I felt completely sick. But that wasn’t the worst of it. I’d knocked my head really hard on the way down and it wouldn’t stop aching. Probably gave myself a concussion.”
That made Lance snort.
“But as I lay there at the bottom the hill, in a lot of pain, I found myself in a patch of wild mariposa lilies. They were so bright and beautiful, and I decided then and there that they would be my favourite flower. Whenever they were in bloom, I would go and cut some and put them in a vase in my room. Especially when I was feeling sad. Mariposa lilies always made me feel better.”
“And what was your brother doing during all of this?” Lance asked.
“Oh, you know Thatch.” I shrugged. “He was standing at the top of the hill, laughing his head off as I tumbled down.”
“Bastard.”
“I should have seen him back then for what he was.” I spent most of my days trying not to think too much about my brother or what he did, for my own sanity. But despite being a kingdom away, it was like he was following me everywhere. Lingering in my thoughts like an unwanted ghost.
“Your brother doesn’t deserve you,” Lance said in a more serious tone. “He shouldn’t have done what he did anyway, but he especially shouldn’t have done it because of you.” Because of what it would do to me. How much Thatcher’s betrayal would hurt me.
“Yeah, he shouldn’t have,” I replied softly, feeling a new wave of grief wash over me for the brother I no longer knew. “But he did it anyway.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” Lance looked at me, “I never liked him.” It was a poor attempt at cheering me up, but I appreciated the effort.
“Not even when you first met him?”
“You mean on that trip I took to Norrandale with my father?”
I nodded.
“I remember him following Cai around like some kind of lost puppy. But apart from that I don’t remember much.”
“Oh I know that.”
He gave me a look. “I do remember kissing you, Gwen.”
“Really?” I faked surprise. “I’m surprised you do.”
“We’ve had this conversation before.” Yes, we had. And he’d told me it meant something to him too, but what exactly, I didn’t know.
“Not that it matters,” I said a little dramatically. “It wasn’t that good a kiss anyway.”
“Now I know you’re lying.”
“Am not,” I insisted. “Why? Has no one ever told you that you have mediocre kissing skills, Prince?”
He ran his tongue across his teeth, drawing my attention to his mouth.
“No.” He tried to hide a grin. “They have not.”
“Well, good thing I told you, then. Since we’re friends and all, I suppose it is now my responsibility to keep you humble and so forth. Can’t have you walking around with any delusions about yourself.”
His mouth fell slightly open, and I couldn’t say I didn’t relish the fact that I’d caught him off guard at least a little bit.
Lance’s eyes narrowed. “If it was such a bad kiss, then why did it have you swooning over me for months after?”
Oh, I’d walked right into that one, hadn’t I?
“I didn’t say it was bad, I said it was mediocre,” I corrected him, though still not entirely helping myself.
“Then why’d you hold a grudge for literal years?”
I needed to change the subject fast, before I made a fool of myself.
“You’re so full of it,” I replied with derision.
“Oh, am I?” Lance asked with a mocking tone, looking down into my eyes. He clearly enjoyed teasing me and some part of me enjoyed the attention.
“Yes,” I replied. “You most definitely are.”
His face was closer now and I didn’t dare break the eye contact and give him the upper hand. I didn’t want to let him know that despite everything, despite all the years, he still got to me.
“Then you must not be doing a very good job of humbling me, after all.” His gaze travelled to my lips and then back up to my eyes.
“Well, your ego is so big, it’s going to take a while to bring you back down to earth.”
Lance was so close to me now that we practically shared a breath. I could feel my heart beating in anxious anticipation.
“Gwen.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I forgot how to breathe.
“Yes?”
“Tell me if this is mediocre.”
And then his lips were on mine.
Lance kissed me slowly but with certainty. Like he meant it. Like he’d been thinking about doing it for some time now. I didn’t pull back, even though I knew I should. Nothing good could come from kissing the Prince of Everness. And yet . . .
I savoured the feeling of his mouth moving against mine. It was like the first drop of rain after an endless drought. Something I didn’t realise I craved until I had a taste. And now I wanted more.
Lance’s hand cupped my jaw, tilting my head so that he could kiss me even harder. The world around us disappeared, and there was only me and Lance in the library and the scent of him, which reminded me of Norrandale on an icy winter morning combined with something minty.
I placed my hand on his wrist, and he hesitated for a moment as if he thought I was going to pull away from him, but on the contrary, I wanted him closer.
Yet I was out of my mind with fear. Was this only happening because we were trying to distract ourselves from our grief?
Were we placeholders until something better came along to fill the void? I didn’t want to consider it.
The kiss grew more urgent, as if neither of us could afford to take our time anymore. The string between us had been pulled taut until it finally snapped, and I feared I might drown in this moment and in him.
Lance breathed something that sounded like my name when thunder suddenly rumbled outside. The noise was loud enough that the windows rattled, and it caused us both to jump.
I tried to catch my breath while my mind slipped back to reality.
“I really hate the thunder,” I muttered, brushing my hair away from my face. My cheeks were flushed, and I felt both hot and freezing all over my body.
“Come on.” Lance stood up, looking a little dazed himself. “I’ll help you to your rooms.” He pulled me into a standing position.
This was a bad idea. As much as I’d enjoyed kissing Lance, I knew it couldn’t happen again. I didn’t want to be another one of Lance’s games. Both of us had too many things that we needed to deal with. And most of all, I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to break my heart.