Chapter 36
Lance
I took a bite of my pastry, glad that I’d requested the cook make something savoury instead of some chocolaty doughy business.
I was in a hurry to get to Gwen’s rooms, but my rumbling stomach had to be prioritised.
It was the first day of relatively pleasant weather after many days of rain and storms. I thought it would be a good idea to go out for a ride.
I’d enquired with the stable boy and he informed me Gwen had been spending some time down at the stables again. Apparently, Windchaser was growing quite fond of her because of all the carrots and sugar cubes she’d been feeding him.
When I knocked on her door, nobody responded. I wondered if she was inside and simply didn’t want to see me. I knew she wasn’t in the library or the dining room as I’d made sure to check both places on my way from the kitchens.
“Gwen,” I called out. “Are you there?” Still there was no response.
I reached for the door handle, fearing she was purposely avoiding me. Perhaps it was ungentlemanly to burst into a lady’s room, but I didn’t care if Gwen didn’t want to see me. I couldn’t go back to the way things were before, with her ignoring me again.
Her bedroom door opened with a squeak, but I found the room void of life.
I couldn’t see her cloak or riding boots anywhere.
Maybe I was too late, and she’d already gone out riding.
I could always try to catch up with her, but I had no idea in which direction she’d gone.
Last time I went riding after Gwen, it took me more than an hour to find her.
I found a servant cleaning in one of the hallways.
“Have you perhaps seen Lady Gwen anywhere?”
“Your Highness.” The girl did a quick bow. “I believe I saw her making her way towards the stables.” I was right. She’d used the opportunity of the fine weather to get some fresh air. Great minds think alike, I suppose.
“And was that long ago?”
“Not at all, Your Highness.” The girl shook her head.
“It was only a few minutes ago.” She couldn’t be very far, then.
If I was quick, I might still catch her on her way out.
I hurried down to the stable yard, beyond which the horses grazed in their paddocks.
After all the rain, there were many large patches of mud.
I would have to remind the grooms to keep an eye on the horses’ hooves so that they didn’t get infected.
“Your Highness.” The stable boy was in the midst of cleaning some tack. He looked a little surprised to see me.
“I’m looking for Lady Gwen. Has she gone out already?”
“She has gone out, Your Highness,” he confirmed, with a bit of a stutter. “But I don’t think she’s coming back.”
“What do you mean, she’s not coming back?”
“She, uh.” He hesitated. “I overheard her talking to Bessie as she was tacking up. She mentioned something about Norrandale, and she had a satchel with her, which looked quite full.”
I didn’t respond to him. I merely ran out of the stables as fast as my legs could carry me. She couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t be.
A flash of her light hair, which glinted with a bit of red in the sun, came into view. She stood in the courtyard with a servant who held on to Bessie as Gwen fastened her cloak.
“Have you gone mad?” I called out loud enough for Bessie to get a bit of a fright. Gwen looked up with surprise.
“Lance. What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? Why are you stealing my horse and leaving for Norrandale without so much as a word?” I didn’t know if I was angry or sad or both.
“I’m not stealing your horse, I’m just borrowing her.” Gwen corrected me. “And I was going to say goodbye.”
“When?” I asked with exasperation.
“Well.” She looked down at the ground, somewhat ashamed. “I left a letter with one of your servants. I’m guessing it’s probably in your room somewhere.”
“You were going to say goodbye in a letter? After you hated me for years because of what happened in Norrandale. Now who’s the hypocrite?”
“That was different.”
“How was that different?”
Gwen looked away with a sigh. “I just didn’t know how to say goodbye, all right?”
Something in her tone softened the anger inside me.
“It’s the middle of winter. You don’t know the way. You’ll die out there.”
“I’ve made the journey once before. And the weather has finally turned enough for me to travel. I can’t wait any longer.”
“What about your things?” I asked. “You hardly have anything with you.”
“I’ll send for them once I’ve arrived at Mistwood.”
This girl was insane.
She took the reins from the servant, and I grabbed them from her.
“Go and fetch my carriage.” The servant boy gave a silent bow and scurried off.
“Lance, what are you doing?” Gwen turned to face me with a scowl.
“I’m coming with you,” I said with determination.
“You can’t come with me to Norrandale.”
“Well, I can’t send a group of guards with you. I need every able-bodied man here to protect the palace in case things go awry with Argon.”
“That’s exactly why you need to stay,” Gwen argued.
“I’ll have the council summoned again. They will keep things under control until I can return.” With war on the rise, I knew I was not the right person to protect this kingdom. Even if I cared about the monarchy and our family line. This was Elara’s battle.
But the thought of living in the Palace of Levernia on my own again .
. . Before I knew Elara was still alive or any of this stuff happened, I was used to Eloisa spending much time in the country, my father always being occupied in his study before he got ill, and the little company I had were the few people who lived, on and off, at court.
None of them were truly my friends in any sort of sense, as any time they spent with me was because I was the heir to the throne and then, for a short time, their monarch.
And then Elara was there with a small army of people who all cared about her.
They were noisy and often a little obnoxious, but they looked after each other, and even though I couldn’t particularly say I liked all of them, I’d grown accustomed to their presence.
And then they all left, and it was quiet again. Except for Gwen. Even if she was often ignoring me, at least she was there. I couldn’t go back to the way it was before. I wouldn’t.
“I won’t let you go alone, Gwen.” I stared her down as she looked into my eyes with equal determination.
After a few moments of bitter silence, she finally conceded.
“Fine, I guess you can tag along.”
* * *
The earth crunched under the wheels of the carriage, every bump and rock causing it to sway a little. Gwen had her cloak wrapped around her like a blanket as she looked out of the carriage window. I couldn’t help but watch her from the opposite seat. Her expression was full of worry.
Her brother was a traitor, her kingdom was under attack and her family was hiding out somewhere with no way of reaching her. I realised then how alone she must have been feeling. Something which I, unfortunately, identified with very well.
“Here.” I held out the small flask to her.
She looked at me with her nose slightly turned up. “No thank you.”
“It’s not what you think it is and you’re practically shivering. This will help to warm you up a little.” When she didn’t respond, I added, for my own personal amusement, “Unless you’d rather have me warm you up.”
I’d never seen anyone grab a flask so quickly. She tilted her head back, gulping down a big sip. Her surprised expression as she swallowed the tea I’d put in the flask was quite amusing.
“It’s tea.” She handed back the flask. “I thought you didn’t really like tea.”
“I don’t,” I replied, taking a sip for myself, and I immediately felt a little bit warmer. “But you do.”
She looked uncertain but her eyes remained on me.
“Are you looking forward to going back to Mistwood?” It was truly none of my business, but I did find myself curious. It was still her home, after all, even if her family was no longer there.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’d never left Norrandale before.
I didn’t know anything apart from Mistwood and our country estate.
And now . . .” Gwen let out a sigh heavy with sadness.
“Now I don’t think it will ever be the same again.
I feel as though I’m returning to a strange place that I no longer recognise. ”
“And what about your brother?” Family was a complicated thing. I didn’t know a family dynamic that wasn’t problematic. But even though I didn’t like Thatcher during his stay at Levernia, from my understanding they were quite close, even if they often bickered like little children.
“Well, if we’re going to start talking about that then I’m going to need something stronger than that.” She pointed to the flask in my hand.
“That bad?” I held out the flask to her and our fingers brushed as she took it from me, her skin warm against mine despite the cool temperature outside.
“You know what he did,” she responded rhetorically.
“He’s still your brother. You’re still allowed to love him. Even if you’re angry.”
She contemplated my words. “I don’t know what I feel for him. Don’t know where he is or if he’s even alive. Cai didn’t mention anything about Thatcher in his letter.”
“Do you think Cai would hurt him? He was his best friend.”
“Thatcher killed the queen mother,” she said sorrowfully. As if it brought her pain merely to say the words out loud. “Cai’s never going to forgive him for that.” She took a sip from the flask. “And I don’t know if I can either.”
I didn’t know how to respond or what words of comfort might be appropriate. The word comfort wasn’t exactly part of my father’s vocabulary.
I peered out of the carriage window, watching the light as it slowly diminished.
“It will be dusk soon. I think we’ll stop at the next town and find some accommodation for the evening if that suits you.”
Gwen nodded but her mind was clearly someplace else. She didn’t return my flask, and I didn’t ask for it back.