Chapter 47
Lance
I was freezing.
My entire body shivered as I rode through the Norrandish forest, following the path that led to the mountains.
I could no longer feel my fingers or my toes and every part of me yearned to turn around.
To go back to Mistwood, where there was a warm fire and some ale.
But I knew I couldn’t. I knew I had to find her.
When I’d walked into Gwen’s room last night, she was packing a small bag.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
“Just gathering a few supplies. I’m not actually sure what one needs for this sort of thing.”
I closed her bedroom door behind me, leaning against the frame with my arms crossed. “What sort of thing?”
“You know, battle.” Gwen looked nervous and excited at the same time.
It took me a moment to realise what she meant.
“Gwen,” I said slowly. “Tell me you don’t plan on leaving with the army in a few hours.”
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. “Well, I’m not just going to sit here and wait for better days.”
I didn’t know if it was meant to be a jab at me.
At the fact that I wasn’t going with Cai’s men.
But it was not my fight. And I wasn’t trained to be a soldier.
If something went wrong on that battlefield the next morning, I would need to flee back to Everness to warn the council, to decide our next steps and how we were going to protect Everness if Aries was coming.
“This isn’t about waiting around for better days. With all due respect, you have never seen real war before. You have no idea what you’re walking into.”
“I’m not as fragile as you think.”
I dropped my hands and walked over to her bed, where she’d resumed her packing.
“I don’t think you’re fragile.” My choice of words seemed to please her momentarily, until I added, “I think you’re being stupid.”
“Well, I’d rather be stupid than a coward.” That one definitely felt directed at me.
“Sometimes being alive is better than being brave.”
Gwen sighed, dropping her bag. “It’s not like I plan on walking into the middle of a battle. I’ll stay far behind, take my bow and arrows with me.”
“Staying alive doesn’t make you a coward.” I tried to reason with her. “Those soldiers have been training for years. They know what to expect. They know what they’re doing. To walk into a battle with no experience of that sort of thing is to have a death wish. You’d be no help to anyone.”
“You don’t understand.” Her expression grew weary. “My friends and family are out there, and I cannot patiently sit here and wait for the worst to happen.”
“It’s my family too,” I reminded her. “But we’re needed here, Gwen. Someone has to hold down the fort. You have an entire infirmary to run.”
She didn’t respond, looking down at the things splayed out on her bed.
“Promise me.” I stepped in front of her and lifted her chin. “Promise me you won’t go.”
She looked at me, eyes full of worry and pain and everything in between.
“Promise me,” I said again, when she hesitated.
“Fine, I promise.” There was no sincerity in her voice, yet I had no choice but to believe her.
* * *
I couldn’t sleep after that, plagued by an unsettling feeling in my chest. I got dressed and made my way to Gwen’s room, hoping she might be awake too.
Perhaps she would be willing to join me for something to drink.
Even if it had to be tea. Anything to avoid rolling around in my bed for another few hours.
She didn’t answer when I knocked, and when I stepped inside the room, there was no trace of her. The bed made, that bag she was packing earlier gone.
I let out a string of curses, running back out into the hall.
Horse. I needed a horse and a weapon of some kind, although I didn’t know how far it would get me.
The Norrandish army had left hours ago. I had no idea how long it would take for me to catch up.
If I was lucky, I would reach them before the battle started.
I could stop Gwen from doing something reckless and life-threatening.
I didn’t bother with proper winter riding attire, which was my first mistake. The only horse I could manage to find was an old mare with absolutely no interest in walking the woods in the dead of night.
It was nearing dawn now, light slowly emerging before the sunrise. I couldn’t be too far away. If I stopped the horse and listened carefully, I was almost certain I could hear fighting in the distance.
I gave the poor old mare a good kick in the sides, alerting her that we needed to get a move on. She surprisingly obliged, speeding up to a slow canter. It wasn’t quite the gallop I needed but it was better than walking.
Low-hanging tree branches scratched me as we passed, and slowly the sounds of war became clearer. The screaming and the fighting got louder until I reached the hill that would lead into the valley of the Norrandish mountains.
Most of the soldiers appeared to be down there in the midst of a bloody battle, apart from a few stray archers who remained at the top of the hill, aiming at potential targets.
It would be a lot more challenging to wound or kill an Argonian now.
They were no longer able to send arrows flying randomly into the air, as that risked hitting the Norrandish soldiers too.
I dismounted the horse and tied her to a nearby tree, my eyes scanning for a familiar face. She wasn’t among any of them. I wouldn’t allow myself to consider the possibility that she was already dead, or worse, taken by one of the Argonian soldiers.
Where are you, Gwen?
As if my silent prayer had been answered, I finally saw her on the far side of the hill, bow and arrow in hand. She aimed into the valley before sending the arrow flying. I didn’t hesitate. I ran to her as quickly as my legs would carry me.
“Gwen!”
She didn’t hear me at first. It was hard to hear anything above the fighting.
“Gwen!”
She turned then, at the sound of my voice, and lowered her bow.
“Lance?” Her eyes were wide with surprise.
I reached her, out of breath, tired and muscles burning.
“What are you doing here?”
I was so relieved to see her still alive, I didn’t know if I wanted to kiss her or grab her by the shoulders to try to shake some sense into her.
“What am I doing here? What are you doing here?”
Her bow continued to hang loosely at her side, but her posture looked defeated.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I told you. I couldn’t just sit there and wait. Not while the people I care about are out here fighting for their lives.”
“And what about me?” I cried out with a tone of desperation. “What if I need you alive and safe?”
She slowly seemed to register the importance that she held. “My brother,” she said with a whimper. “I just felt like if I was here, then maybe . . .” She trailed off, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
I took her face in my hands, wiping the tear away with my thumb. “Gwen, you don’t have to atone for your brother. He made his choices. Now I’m asking you to make yours.”
I pressed my forehead to hers, the world around us momentarily forgotten. “Come with me.”
Don’t ever leave me again was what I didn’t say out loud.
I pulled back a little, looking towards the valley below, to all the bloodshed taking place.
“Come back with me, and whatever happens out here today, we will find a way to face it.”
Gwen didn’t see the archer on the side of the battlefield, bowstring taut, arrow aimed directly at her. Before she could answer, I pulled her into me, turning us so that I could cover my body with hers. I looked down at her, my breathing ragged.
Gwen turned pale instantly, sucking in a breath. We both let our eyes slowly fall to the arrow now in my lower side.
Pain sliced through me a moment later, as if it took my body a few seconds to register what had happened.
“Lance,” Gwen said, with panic in her voice. She grabbed me as the world began to sway. I didn’t remember falling to the ground but suddenly I was there, looking up at Gwen and the dark winter clouds above her.
“No, no no.”
Blood soaked my jacket, and she pressed her hand to the wound. Bleeding out from an arrow, I thought. What a crappy way to die.
“Stay with me, Lance. You’re going to be fine.”
Dark spots filled my vision, and I felt Gwen grab my chin, blood transferring from her hands to my face. “Look at me,” she ordered. Were those tears in her eyes? “Stay with me.”
Yes, I wanted to say, but I felt so heavy, it was too difficult to form words.
“Please, Lance.”
My eyelids grew heavier.
Gwen continued to press her hand to the wound, trying to stop the blood. “Please stay with me.” It was the last thing I heard before the world went completely dark.