Chapter 20
Twenty
Zach
Joel
Duuuuuddee.
Joel
Please for the love of GOD tell me you’ve got something happening with your neighbor. I might cry for you if you say no. And if you say no, your DIBS is forfeit.
Joel
You can’t keep that to yourself if you’re not even going to capitalize on those ‘fuck me’ eyes she’s sending your way.
Joel
Are you ignoring me? Rude.
Joel
You better not bitch out on family dinner tonight just to avoid this.
Joel
I’m relentless.
Joel
*GIF of Thanos with the caption ‘I am inevitable’.
I snort at the last text message and shove my phone into my back pocket.
He’s not wrong.
The way I’m dreading walking into family dinner tonight with my mother and Joel is unparallelled. I haven’t seen my brother since his impromptu drop-in the other morning when Lou was over, and I’ve avoided all of his very persistent phone calls and text messages. Yes, on purpose.
I haven’t seen Lou in the two days since.
We keep missing each other.
Unless she’s avoiding me like I’m avoiding my brother.
“Are you gonna go inside or just sit in the car like a weirdo?”
Glancing in the rearview mirror, I narrow my eyes at my oldest. She raises her blonde brows, eyes widening in a ‘Well???’ expression.
“Yes, I’m going inside.”
“Are you and Uncle Joel fighting again?”
“No.” Not exactly. “We don’t fight.”
She rolls her eyes as she opens the back door of the truck. “Sure you don’t.”
Bailey and Chloe climb out of the other side and I step out. “We’re too grown for fighting.”
Abi turns as she climbs the stairs, hand on the rail—that I still haven’t made it over here to fix, dammit—and glares at me dubiously. “I heard men’s brains don’t develop until they’re in their forties.”
I point one finger at her, trying not to laugh. “That’s not accurate. Don’t believe everything you read online.”
Mom opens the door just as the girls get to the landing, ushering each of them inside. She wraps one arm around my waist as I reach her on the threshold. The tantalizing aroma of garlic bread greets me and my mouth starts to water.
“Xander and Teddy will be here next week with the kids,” she says, leading me into the kitchen.
Joel is leaning against the kitchen counter, head down, phone in hand. His head pops up and he grins. “He is alive. Was starting to wonder.”
I flip him off and he pretends to catch it, stuffing his closed fist in the front pocket of his jeans.
“Thanks, I’ll save this for later.”
“Boys…” my mother warns, sighing and shaking her head.
“What’s for dinner tonight Nonna?” Bailey asks, stepping up to the counter.
“Lasagna, salad, and garlic bread,” my mother says, following Bailey to the counter where a glass baking dish is full to the brim with a homemade lasagna.
The cheese is still bubbling, like she just pulled it out of the oven.
“Just waiting on the garlic bread to toast up a bit in the oven. Hope you’re all hungry.
Girls, why don’t you get started on setting the table? ”
Taking a couple beers out of the fridge by the necks, I hand one to Joel and then pop off the cap as the girls get to work setting the table.
Grumbling around a swallow of beer, “Why do they help here without whining but at home they act like I’ve asked them to do something to personally ruin their lives? ”
“Because taking out the garbage would be the worst thing to happen,” Joel chuckles. “Don’t you remember arguing about doing chores as a kid? Or have you just been a grumpy stick in the mud since you were in diapers?”
“Boys,” Mom warns again, glaring at us over her shoulder as she takes the garlic bread out of the oven. The tinfoil the loaf is wrapped in crackles metallically as she opens it, and the delicious scent gets stronger. My stomach growls. She eyes me. “Do you not feed yourself?”
“Nah, he just has the gorgeous new neighbor come over and cook for him,” Joel mutters under his breath behind his beer, and once again I have the urge to kick his feet out from under him.
“Oh? New neighbor?” Mom asks, glancing between us before landing on me. “She’s been over?”
I glare at Joel before answering. “She watched the girls the other night when we had that big apartment fire and you were out of town. She stayed until I was up and moving the next morning, and yes, she fed the girls.”
“And us.” Joel adds, grinning. Goddamn this motherfucker. “She made sure to feed both of us, too.”
“I’m going to kill you,” I mouth over to him behind Mom’s back as she slices the loaf of garlic bread on a cutting board. “Slowly.”
“Well, I think it’s great that you’re finally out there meeting someone new,” Mom says, nodding as she focuses on her task. “You’ll bring her to family dinner next week when Xander and Teddy are home, yes?”
“Mom, it’s not like that, she—”
“Hey, what Mom wants, she gets, right?” Joel asks, stepping over to Mom and sliding one arm over her shoulder and squeezing. “So you’ll bring Lou to family dinner.”
“What I want is for all of my boys to find someone nice and settle down,” she grumbles, looking up at Joel pointedly.
She uses her knife to point at him, “Sometimes I think you’ll never settle down.
But I thought the same thing about Xander and look at him now.
So, I guess if there was someone out there that could win over his heart, there must be someone out there for you, too. ”
“Wow, thanks Mom,” he laughs, feigning hurt. “That’s the most inspirational thing I’ve ever heard.”
I’m trying—and failing—to hide the laugh that’s shaking my shoulders when she turns and points that knife at me, too. I hold up my hands wide in surrender, laughing out loud this time. “What did I do?”
Her lips thin and she narrows her eyes at me. “You’ve been alone for too long.”
“I’ve been married for ten years!” I argue, still laughing.
“But you’ve been alone, Zach,” she says, her tone gentling.
There it is. The pity. I drop my eyes to the floor between my boots to avoid looking at her or Joel.
When my mother speaks again, it’s quiet, just for me.
“You know marriage isn’t supposed to be like that, right?
Not all women are like her. There’s someone out there that will stay, Zach.
Not out of obligation, or fear, or convenience, or manipulation. Because they want to.”
I hate having this conversation. So, I nod. “I know.”
I don’t know, though. Watching Britt choose to abandon her kids, choosing to walk away, has left a sour taste in my mouth where women and relationships are concerned.
I don’t think I have it in my heart to fully trust another woman, especially with my kids.
They don’t deserve to be abandoned once, let alone again and again when dating fails and they inevitably walk away in the end.
I’m sure Louise is a nice girl. She’s sweet—and I grudgingly admit she’s fantastic with my girls—but I don’t know her nearly well enough to trust her. She’s beautiful and radiant and funny as hell… but opening up again feels as impossible as growing a set of wings.
“Bring your new neighbor to dinner next week,” Mom says again.
I sigh. “It’s really not like that with her, Mom—”
“Then she can come as a friend. You do still have basic manners, correct? You know you can just be friendly and not a surly beast all the time.”
Joel chokes on a drink of his beer and coughs to clear his airway. I glare at him.
“Okay. I’ll ask her.”
Mom nods, slicing through the lasagna in the pan. “Good. Now, who’s hungry?”