Chapter 32
Thirty-Two
Louise
The knocking on my door startles me. It’s loud, insistent. The only time I’ve heard someone pound on my door like that was the night Zach had to go to the fire—
I’m off the couch and rushing toward the door. Pulling it open, I nearly run into Zach where he stands on my threshold. “Hey, is it—”
“Not a fire,” he rushes to say, his eyes tracking me as I try to shove my feet into shoes. “But I’m glad you remembered shoes this time.”
Sticking my hands on my hips, I cock one hip out and glare up at him. “Look, the last time was like midnight and I was in bed—”
“I know,” he laughs, but then he turns his head to look at his house again. “Listen. I need your help with something. I’m way out of my depths and I don’t know who to ask. I could call my mom, but… I think it might be… less embarrassing… coming from you?”
Dropping my hands and the fake sass, I track his features. “Is something wrong? I’ll help in any way I can, Zach.”
“Good. Thanks,” he says, lifting one massive hand to rub at the back of his neck awkwardly. He sticks his tongue into his cheek, like he’s chewing on his next words.
“Tell me what’s going on before I have an anxiety attack,” I laugh, stepping forward to place my hands on either side of his face. I scratch my nails through the scruff on his cheeks and jaw. “What’s going on?”
His hands come to my waist, simply holding me there and he takes a deep, steadying breath in. “It’s Abi. She… she started her first period. And I don’t know what to do to help her. I grew up with three boys. I don’t know what I’m doing. The last thing I want to do is get Brittanee involved…”
Sliding my hands up and around to the back of his neck, I pull him down to me for a hug. This man and his heart.
“Come here,” I whisper on a light laugh. He wraps his arms around me, his entire body expanding with another deep breath before he lets it out just as slowly. “Better?”
He nods into my neck. “Thank you.”
“Can I make a suggestion? Feel free to say no, if you’re not comfortable with it,” I say, pulling back enough to allow him to stand up straight. “Do you want me to talk to her alone, or would you like to be involved in the talk?”
“I’ll let you talk to her. Might embarrass her a little less if her gross old dad isn’t listening in,” he admits, scrunching up his nose adorably.
“Okay. I think maybe you need a second to process, too. Why don’t you run to the store and pick up a few things for her?
Heating pad, maybe some chocolate or a salty snack that she might like.
A magazine or a new book. Something to pamper herself with.
” He nods, cataloguing everything in his mind.
God he’s cute. “I have some pads and tampons here, I’ll take a small stockpile over and she can decide what she’s comfortable using, and then I can text you what to get while you’re at the store. ”
“I’m so glad you moved in next door,” he laughs, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me against his chest again. “Thank you. Again.”
I nod into his chest, practically suffocating, but totally happy being right here.
Two minutes later, I have a small bag of necessities in one hand and my iced coffee in the other, walking across the lawn to Zach’s house. He climbs the stairs with me, opening the door, and then he grabs his truck keys.
“Girls, I’m running to the store. Lou is here until I get back,” he tells Bailey and Chloe, who both look up from where they’re sitting on the couch, watching Hotel Transylvania.
Turning to me, he leans down, kissing my cheek.
“Abi is in the bathroom. She wouldn’t come out.
I’ll be right back. Call me if you need anything else, or if I need to rush home. ”
I lean into the kiss. “We’ll be fine. Remember, chocolates and salty treats. Heating pad. Self-care. Oooh. Get her some new comfy pjs. Something soft and fuzzy.”
He repeats the list, mouthing the words silently, committing everything to memory. Then, he shakes his head. “Text me.”
I laugh, nodding.
He’s out the door, and I head down the hallway toward the bathroom.
I knock lightly, calling quietly through the door, “Hey, sis, you okay in there? I’ve got some stuff for you, if you want to open the door. We can talk for just a second, if you want.”
I hold my breath, not entirely sure if she’s going to open the door or not.
Abigail has come around a lot, since Zach and I started, well, whatever this is.
But… I know she’s still hurting over the loss of her mother.
Grieving someone while they’re still alive is a different kind of pain.
One that’s not fair that these three girls have had to feel.
The door opens just a crack, and her blond head and blue eyes pop up in the space. “I’m okay. Is Dad out there?”
I lean against the doorframe and murmur quietly, confidentially, “No. I sent him out to the store to give him something to do to make him feel like he’s being helpful.
Hope you like chocolates and salty treats.
When I’m on my period, I can eat through a whole bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
And those Lindt chocolate balls? They hate to see me coming. ”
The snort of laughter that escapes the bathroom is what I was hoping for.
I hold up the small bag of essentials. “I have a couple things, if you want to go through them. Answer any questions you might have.” I shrug, trying for nonchalance. “If you want.”
Abigail opens the door wider, and I step into the bathroom.
She closes it behind us, and then sits down on the edge of the bathtub.
Handing over the bag, she opens it, rifling through the products I had pulled out of my own vanity.
I flip the toilet seat down and take a seat opposite her while she goes through what I brought over.
“There’s different size and flow pads, the higher the number, the heavier the flow capacity it can hold.
Those might be easier to start with than tampons, but I can show you if you’d like.
” Abigail shakes her head, wrinkling her nose.
I laugh. “Yeah, I don’t like tampons either.
I have them for emergencies. I like the flex cups best, but we’ll get to those later.
There’s also a bottle of Midol, if you’re feeling crampy.
Just one capsule will work, but I make sure to take it with food.
It makes me feel kinda icky if I take it on an empty stomach.
” She nods, looking up at me, and my heart aches for her.
I clear my throat and continue, “I put a couple bath bombs in there, too, and shower steamers. Those are my favorite. I just toss one in the bottom of the shower and just sit on the floor and let the hot water beat down on me for a while.”
She nods again, gathering the bag closed and setting it in her lap. My phone buzzes, and I flip it over, seeing a text from Zach.
Grumpy Pants
*selfie of Zach holding an overflowing Wal-Mart bag like a prized fish*
Grumpy Pants
I have the loot. On my way back.
Unable to stifle the smile, I grin, then stuff my phone back into my pocket.
“I also cry a lot, like, the couple days before my period,” I tell her, rolling my eyes dramatically. She laughs. “Do you need me to go over anything specific? Like, the birds and the bees…? Do they even still call it that?”
She rolls her eyes then, making me smile. “Nah, our school counselors pulled all the girls last year for a sex-ed class. And Dad had ‘the talk’ with me a couple months ago. So I know all that stuff.”
“Okay, well, if you do have any questions, you can ask me. You have a cell phone, right?” I ask, knowing full well has a cell phone set up through Zach’s family plan. “Do you want my number? That way you can text me if you have any questions that might be too like, cringey to ask in person.”
Abi rolls her eyes. “Nobody says cringey anymore, Lou. That’s a millennial thing.”
I gasp in feigned outrage. “I am not a millennial! I’m Gen Z, thank you!”
“Dad’s a millennial.”
“Yeah, well, he’s old, and grumpy ninety-nine percent of the time, so that tracks,” I tease, and she laughs. I hitch my thumb at the door. “I should probably check on the other members of the alphabet out there. Do you need help with the pads or anything?”
She shakes her head. “No, I know how to use them. I might take a shower. Use one of these shower steamers that you like so much, if that’s okay?”
“Of course,” I whisper, winking. Pushing to stand with my hands on my knees, I say, “Oh, hey, take my number, just in case.” Abigail nods, pulling her phone out of the front pocket of her hoodie, and I tell her my phone number for her to enter it in as a new contact.
She sends me a text, my phone buzzing in my back pocket. “Perf. Enjoy your shower steamer.”
Exiting the bathroom, I pull the door closed, and then lean against the wall, letting my head thump dully on the outdated wood paneling.
When I hear the shower turn on, I sigh, pushing away from the wall.
Rejoining Bailey and Chloe in the living room, I plop down between them on the couch.
Chloe immediately covers me up with the other half of the fuzzy blanket she’s burrowed in, and we settle in to watch Dracula’s attempt to keep Mavis from meeting human Johnny.
Just a few minutes later, I hear the engine of Zach’s truck pull into the driveway, and then he’s walking in through the front door, plastic Wal-Mart bag in hand. He drops a kiss to each of our heads as he passes, and I look up at him.
He wraps his palm around the underside of my jaw, tilting my face up and back, and he rubs his thumb along my throat. Those blue eyes of his stare into my soul, searching for something, though I’m not entirely sure what.
And then he leans down and kisses me, slowly, unhurried. My toes tingle.
“Thank you,” he whispers, continuing that teasingly light stroke of his thumb along my neck. “How is she?”
“She’s fine,” I whisper back. “She’s taking a shower. I gave her my phone number, just in case. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
He gives my jaw one last swipe of his thumb before letting go. I stand, tucking the blanket in around Chloe’s legs. Following Zach into the kitchen, he starts emptying the bag onto the counter.
He pulls a bag of potato chips and an entire Halloween sized bag of Mini Reese’s Cups out, along with a massive double chocolate cupcake in a single serve plastic container.
A matching fuzzy sweater and lounge pants set in a muted jade green.
I cut the tags off and shake them out, then fold them neatly as he pulls more stuff out of the bag like it’s Mary Poppin’s magic purse.
Electric heating pad, single use face masks, new nail polish, a new box of colored pencils, and an adult coloring book.
“How’d I do?” he asks, raising his eyes from the collection on the counter to mine.
“This looks great,” I assure him. “Good job, Dad.”
He blows out a breath, notching his chin into his chest. “Damn that was stressful.”
I laugh, patting his chest. “Oh, you poor sweet man. Just get ready until they all sync together.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.
“When Bailey and Chloe start theirs, too. They’ll all be on the same schedule,” I tease.
His blue eyes go wide in sheer panic. “Please tell me that’s not really a thing.”
Picking up the new pajama set, I wink at him and cross the room to the hallway. I knock on the bathroom door, and then I hear, “Yeah?”
“It’s just me,” I call, cracking the door open just a hair. “Your dad got you some new comfy pj’s. I’m just going to set them in the door, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you,” Abigail calls back over the thrum of the shower.
“How’s that steamer?” I ask quietly.
“It’s pretty great.”
“Good. Your dad got you snacks, too, whenever you’re done.”
“Cool, tell him thank you.”
“I will.”
“Louise?” she calls just before I close the door. She pulls back the shower curtain, just enough to pop her head around it. I smile when I realize she’s sitting on the floor of the tub. “Thank you, too.”
I grin at her and wink. “You’re welcome, sis. Anytime. I mean it, okay?”
She nods and then disappears back behind the shower curtain. I close the door, and then look up at Zach, who is leaning against the wall in the same exact spot I was earlier.
“I’ve said it about a hundred times tonight,” he rasps, his eyes searching mine again.
“But thank you, for this. For stepping in to help her in a way that I can’t.
” He exhales, those blue eyes showing the ache that he lives with.
It breaks my heart. He reaches for me, and I step closer, letting him pull me in.
In a moment of raw vulnerability, this man whispers against my forehead, “This… this scares me. A lot. For me, for my girls… What if you decide you don’t want this and walk away from them, from us? ”
Leaning against his chest in the quiet shadow of the hallway, I whisper back, “Locked in, remember?”
Those arms I’ve come to love so much wrap around me, and he presses his cheek to the top of my head. “Locked in, Princess.”
God, the way my heart hopes that he means it.