Chapter 14
Chapter fourteen
Ella
Ella sat alone in the carriage, with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company, as they drove from Eldenwilde to her father’s estate.
Perhaps she should have expected this. She should have expected Dietrich to pull away, to once again be alone.
But perhaps she was being naive; she hadn’t expected it.
While she might no longer be alone once they arrived at the estate and she made herself known to her family, the thought of everything changing was terrifying.
She had finally begun to be herself, living a life outside of her stepmother’s demands. It may have only been for a few days, but she had grown accustomed to it, and that would all change once the carriage rolled into the duke’s estate.
She wasn’t ready.
She wasn’t ready to lose the connection she’d begun to have with Dietrich.
The fact that she’d kissed him was so unlike anything she’d ever done, she could scarcely believe it had happened. But she couldn’t make herself regret kissing Dietrich.
If it had been the only moment she would ever share with him, it had been worth every second. But the thought of that being the only moment she ever spent with Dietrich made her stomach twist in an unfamiliar way.
As the trees rolled past outside the window, Ella reached into her pocket to rub her pumpkin. If only she hadn’t shown Dietrich, perhaps she might have had a few more minutes with him.
The fact that he had been the one who made it felt like a dream.
It was going to be the key to proving her identity, and it was hers because of Dietrich.
The thought was both comforting and upsetting.
If he hadn’t given her the pumpkin as a child, or if she had lost it somehow in the years since, maybe she could have been a normal girl with a normal life and a normal man like Dietrich.
But he was right: if she was, in fact, Lady Eliana, things could never be between them.
Even if she couldn’t stop thinking about him, and he was the first man to ever look at her and see her for who she was, and he made her feel safe and comfortable and, if she dared to say it, loved.
The only thing that mattered was her father and the fact that she was about to become nobility.
If her father recognized her.
Dietrich seemed sure that it would happen. Ella was less certain, but Dietrich knew him better than she did. If he thought that her father would recognize her, who was she to argue with him?
Well, she was a lady, apparently. But that was not enough to let her argue with Dietrich over something he likely knew much better than she did.
As the carriage rolled through the gates, Ella looked out at her father’s home—the home that had been hers so many years ago. This was where she had been born, where she had lived, where she had been loved.
And she didn’t recognize it at all.
There was a lump in her throat that she tried hard to swallow as the carriage stopped. She felt the driver and Dietrich jump down.
The door opened, and a hand reached in to help her down.
She took it, but it wasn’t Dietrich’s. She knew that before she could even see the face of the man helping her down.
There was a pit in her stomach as she allowed the man to help her out of the carriage.
Where was Dietrich? He hadn’t shied away from helping her before, when he had been the one to help her down from her horse, his hands resting on her hips and holding her tight like she was the most precious thing in the world.
Where had he gone?
She turned to look at the castle and saw Dietrich striding into the building, walking as fast as he could without running. She held in the bitter laugh that threatened to escape. It seemed he couldn’t wait to get away from her, now that it was confirmed who she was.
She took a deep breath and surveyed the courtyard. Where did she go now? He hadn’t stopped to tell her what she should do, he’d just run away as fast as he could.
Should she go in? Should she wait? Should she knock on the front door or try to follow Dietrich through the door he’d entered?
Not knowing what to do was almost as hard as watching Dietrich leave.
She turned to ask the man who had helped her out, but he was already on the other side of the carriage.
Should she go pet the horses?
Her fingers reached into her pocket of their own accord, the wooden pumpkin familiar and soothing under her touch.
This was not how she’d expected this to go.
She took a few steps back and reached out to pet the nose of the closest horse. Beatrice had to come out at some point to take her carriage home, and she would know what to do. She would just wait for her guidance, instead of doing something she shouldn’t do.
Then there was a commotion near the castle. Ella’s head whipped around as a door opened, and a man ran out, faster than she’d seen a grown man ever run.
He seemed familiar.
Could it be?
He wore fine clothes, and his eyes were tired, but they felt so right.
He ran to her and pulled her into a rib-crushing hug, squeezing as if he would never let go again.
“It’s really you,” he said, pulling back enough to look down at her before he hastily released her and took a step back. “I’m sorry, you don’t know me—”
“You’re my father,” Ella interjected, smiling up at him.
Perhaps she didn’t know him, but she knew his face. She had seen it in her dreams many nights over the years, and while she’d never known who he was, he always made her feel safe and loved and cared for.
The nights she dreamed of him were the best of her life.
“I remember you, at least a little.”
She remembered feeling loved.
A tear escaped his eye and began to run down his cheek, and he reached out and wiped a tear off hers.
When had she started crying?
“We never stopped looking for you,” he said.
The door opened again behind him, and the duchess, Colette, and Celeste appeared in a flurry of skirts.
“You—you’re our sister?” Celeste yelled as she came running up, the first of the three to reach them.
Colette and Duchess Vaughn were not far behind, as Beatrice and Dietrich appeared in the doorway.
Ella immediately felt more settled at the sight of Dietrich, even though he was much too far away.
The duke looked between his daughters. “You’ve met?”
“She was at our picnic,” Colette explained.
The duke’s head swiveled around to look at Beatrice, who looked sheepish, and then at Dietrich.
“You and I are going to have a talk later,” the duke called to Dietrich, who simply nodded.
“It wasn’t his fault,” Ella exclaimed. “I wasn’t ready. And then they surprised me at the picnic, and I didn’t know. But please, do not blame him.”
“How long have you known?” the duke asked, looking down at her.
“A few days,” she admitted.
“And you didn’t come right away?” he asked gently.
“I needed to be sure,” Ella said. Even though she’d never met him, at least, as far as she remembered, she knew somehow that he would understand. “I needed to be sure that I was your daughter, and I needed to know that I could be your daughter before I came and gave you false hope.”
“You don’t have to do anything to be my daughter,” the duke said, pulling her into another hug. “You already are.”
And then he pulled back again. “What do you mean you had to be sure?”
“I... I only...” Ella faltered. “I didn’t know if Dietrich thought I was your daughter because he wanted me to be your daughter or because I actually was.
If I had been just another blonde girl with blue eyes who he found and decided that I was the missing girl because he wanted me to be.
..” Her voice trailed off before she continued.
“But after hearing from more than one or two people that it was possible, and after meeting your daughters and seeing our resemblance, and after this—”
She pulled the pumpkin out of her pocket and handed it to the duke, who inspected it. Another tear rolled down his cheek, and his wife reached over to brush it away.
When had she come to stand by his side?
“Dietrich gave this to you,” the duke said, his voice breaking as he rolled the pumpkin around in his hand.
“You wouldn’t stop showing it to everyone.
You thought it was the best thing you’d ever seen—you didn’t even want to play with your toys for three days after.
You just wanted to throw the pumpkin back and forth. ”
She let out a chuckle.
“Your mother thought it was the cutest thing in the world. She thought everything you did was... she loved you, you know,” he said suddenly, his eyes staring into hers. “You do know that, right?”
“I think... I remember that.” Ella hesitated. “It’s not much, but I remember that she smelled good, and she had beautiful hair, and she was kind.”
The duchess started to cry, too, and they all turned to look at her. “I am so glad you have that memory of her,” she said through her tears.
Ella looked down at her sisters, who were edging in front of their father with hearts in their eyes.
“Hello,” she said to them, unsure of what to say. What did one say to sisters who weren’t determined to hate you?
“You knew at the picnic, and you didn’t tell us?” Celeste demanded. “That’s not very nice. We’re not supposed to keep secrets, you know.”
“I know,” Ella said with a grin. “But I had to tell your father first. It was important that he was the first one to know.”
Celeste nodded sagely. “That’s right. He knows everything.”
The duke chuckled and rested his hand on Celeste’s head. “I don’t know nearly as much as you think I do, little one,” he said.
Colette hung back a bit—not that Ella blamed her. If she’d had a mysterious sister arrive, she wouldn’t want to jump all over her, either.
But there was someone missing, someone she wanted to celebrate with, and he wasn’t here. When she looked to Beatrice, she was standing alone with no Dietrich in sight, and Ella couldn’t keep the sadness from rolling through her.
She missed him already, and he wasn’t even gone. At least, not yet. She wouldn’t blame him if that changed, but she would be sad if he left because of her.
Although perhaps it was better if he did.
Because she wasn’t sure what would happen if she saw him again, and she couldn’t kiss him.