Chapter Four
Lucinda reached her room in record time, throwing herself on the bed.
She screamed into the pillow before throwing it across the room.
This was a mistake, the whole thing. Tomorrow she would go to Lord Stafford and beg him to take her in, or better yet, to send her back to Miss Covington’s, and that was something she thought she would never say.
At least there she could be useful while she waited to turn twenty-one.
Perhaps start a school of her own or become a governess.
Anything would be better than to be the object of pity for the Ashton family.
The hope that had sprung up within her this afternoon was now nothing but a withered dream.
She should never have come here, not that it had been her choice.
There was a small knock at the door, and Marianne opened it just enough to stick her head in. “May I come in?”
Who was she to deny entry into any room in this house? When she nodded, Marianne came in and closed the door behind her.
“I came to see if you are all right. Mother feels terrible. She would never mean to cause you distress, truly. It is just that she sometimes speaks without thinking first. Those that know her and love her generally forgive her, her thoughtlessness, but I imagine it was quite a shock for you.”
“I did not come here for pity, Lady Marianne.”
“Of course not. I rather think my brothers did not tell her all, and she is so used to being in charge. We usually just go along with it, which is wrong, I know, but easier.”
“Even if it is not kind?” Lucinda wiped away her tears. Marianne was small and had huge blue eyes, but she had a calming temperament, something she certainly did not get from her mother.
“That is the thing; she does not mean to be unkind. She wants to help you. We all do, and I fear I know even less than Mother about you and your circumstances. What I do know is that we should have given you some time to settle in before bombarding you with demands about the queen and such.”
“I do not care about the queen. It is the pity in all your eyes I cannot stand. I understand that my circumstances are unusual, but I cannot abide pity. I’ve been pitied all my life. I thought coming here would be different.”
“I am sorry about that. And my mother, well, all I can say is thank goodness you were not waylaid by highwaymen or neither of us would have heard the end of it. You would have been the talk of the ton, though. Imagine that!” Marianne gave a little giggle.
Lucinda gave a small smile back and wondered what was worse. Poor miss orphan or to have really been held up by a highwayman? Her few possessions would surely have disappointed him. Mister Beckett would have clobbered the highwayman senseless within minutes, in any case.
How to explain, though, why what had happened downstairs had so affected her. “I did not know there was to be a family dinner tonight, and I was unprepared, and I told Lord Ashton so, but he assured me, and well, it all went downhill, didn’t it?”
“Yes, it did, but that was not your fault. Tell me about yourself, why you are here, and how we can help you. I am told I am an excellent listener.”
Lucinda debated whether to tell Marianne anything, but once she started her sorry tale, she could not stop, and though she had vowed not to, she confided in Marianne all the worries and stresses she could not tell Lord Ashton.
Marianne had listened and made all the appropriate head nods and sounds required, and at the end, she helped May get Lucinda ready for bed and tucked her in like a child.
“Do not fear, dear Lucinda. I will talk to my mother, and everything will look much better in the morning. I will not let her upset you. I promise.”
“Thank you for coming to see me and for listening to my concerns, which seem silly now.”
“Not silly at all. Good night. All will be well in the morning.” With that, she slipped out the door and Lucinda pulled the covers high.
“Tomorrow will be a better day, miss. You wait and see,” May said as she blew out the candle.
*
Downstairs, Tony paced the parlor, waiting for his anger to calm.
He should have known better; he should have taken his mother aside and fully explained what was needed of her.
Then he could have cautioned her about Lucinda’s shyness, although he did not think it was shyness exactly.
It was more than that. Was she anxious at meeting so many strangers, or was it simply embarrassment at her lack of presentable clothing? Any of these would be understandable.
He really should have known better. He had seen how distressed she was and had practically forced her to meet the family anyway, especially when she was already in a state of panic. He was an imbecile, and… he should have read the room better, damn it.
When the duke strolled into the room, he went directly to the brandy and poured two glasses. He offered one to Tony, who simply glared at him.
“I know, I know,” the duke began. “Not an auspicious start. I should have stopped her, but you know how Mother is. Her heart is in the right place; she just has no control over her mouth. And we always have family dinners when Mother returns to London.”
“No, we do not, and you know it. And you were no better with all the poor Miss Sterling, and we need to show kindness speech as though she was not sitting right there. It was careless and insensitive of you. And while I am at it, you could have warned me what Mother had planned.”
“For goodness’ sake, I did not mean any malice in my statement, but, regrettably, I now see your point. You were the one to point out she only has two dresses. Her eyes filled with shock at that one. So, we are all at fault.”
Had he said that? Oh, God, he had said that.
He was as bad as the rest of them, maybe even worse.
“Blast it, Edward, now what am I to do? I promised her I would protect her. I promised. Now she will never believe a word I say. She will think I have fed her to the wolves. Lord knows I did not want this responsibility in the first place, but I have a duty to her. Markham placed her in my care for a reason, and I am already failing him.”
The duke offered him the glass again, and this time he took it.
“For my part, I am sorry, but you are not failing him. This is just a minor stutter. Mother will calm down. Marianne will play peacemaker as always, and I will apologize for my foolish comment, and Miss Sterling will come good in time.”
“You being optimistic? Where is my brother, and what have you done with him?”
The duke laughed. A rare occurrence. Tony wanted to stay mad because it delayed the shame he would feel, but he could not.
He should have had a meeting with his mother and brother when the dowager arrived.
It was not ideal how this night had turned out, but he could only hope that Marianne had worked her magic.
However, he could not blame Miss Sterling if she never wanted to talk to him again.
“One more thing. Have you ever heard of Viscount Foxton?” Tony asked.
“Foxton? Hmm, it sounds vaguely familiar. Why?”
“Well, Foxton was the title of Miss Sterling’s father. She seems to have no family, and she is an only child. I was hoping you might know more.”
“Leave it with me. I have a copy of Debrett’s that should tell us more.”
Of course, he was so concerned about her having no family he forgot to wonder who her family might have been. Most families can connect to one another in some way. Between his brother and Lord Stafford, he hoped they could help him piece together the puzzle that was Miss Sterling.
Lucinda’s heart thumped erratically as she entered the front drawing room the next morning. Marianne came immediately to her and clasped her hands. Her smile made Lucinda return it. She was a sweet young woman, so open with her emotions. You knew exactly where you stood with Lady Ashton.
“We are so glad you are here. Mother is afraid you will not forgive her for last night.”
The dowager duchess was twisting a kerchief in her hands, and Lucinda took a breath to steady herself before moving towards Marianne’s mother. This could go two ways, but she hoped that whatever the woman had to say would be sincere.
“Oh, my dear,” the dowager began. “I must apologize for last night. I did not know what you had been through.”
What exactly had she been told? “Thank you, Your Grace. I am sorry for my part. I admit I was not myself last night.”
“Well, no wonder. Taken in the middle of the night like that. You must have been terrified. I cannot understand why someone would do it in such a manner. So, please, forgive me for my hasty words.”
Lucinda did not know what to think about the apology, so she simply said, “Of course.”
Marianne ushered her over to the sofa. “Please, come sit with me and let us get to know you a little, in your words.”
“I am not sure what you would like to know. There is not much to tell.”
“Marianne tells me your father was Viscount Foxton. I remember him. He was the ambassador to Prussia, if I recall correctly.”
Lucinda sat up straight. Someone who knew her father! Questions swirled chaotically in her head. “What was he like?”
“Well, it was many years ago, but from what I remember, he was tall, and he too had auburn hair, just like yours. People held him in high regard, but when he went to Prussia, most of the ton lost touch with him. He may still have friends in the ton who can tell you more.”
Lucinda knew that her hair color came from her father. He had always been so proud of her hair. The family legacy, he had called it. Our crowning glory. “What of my mother? Did you know her? What was her name?”
The dowager’s eyebrows shot up. “I did. Edwina Shorten was a sweet girl. She made her debut a few years after me. I was already married by then, but I remember she was a beautiful girl. She had many admirers, but your father was all she could see. Her father, on the other hand, was not so happy, if I remember correctly. They were on opposing sides of politics, you see.”
“Edwina Shorten,” she said, as if testing the sound of it on her lips. “I never really knew my mother. I was still young when she died, about seven I think. My father only had one small portrait of her, but I do not know where it is now.”
“Oh, Lucinda. It must have been so lonely for you without your family. I had a governess and dance tutors. I see now how fortunate I was to stay at home.”
“I did not know any better, I suppose, but I always wondered why none of my extended family ever came for me. Holidays, especially Christmas, were hard. All the girls left, but of course I had nowhere to go, so I just stayed with Miss Covington.”
“It is shameful, my dear, utterly shameful, but now you are here, and Marianne and I will take good care of you. Tony will accompany us. I will not let him shirk his responsibility to you. Have no fear of that.”
“Thank you both. I can never repay you for your… help.”
“Nonsense, my dear girl. You will be the diamond of the season, but we have much to do to get ready. Now, should we have tea and find a schedule that will suit? I promise I will not force you to do anything you are not willing to do.”
“Well, I do desperately need new dresses as you heard last night. I am sure that Lord Ashton will now get my monthly allowance, but I am not sure if it will cover all I need.”
“Pish posh, you leave all that to me.” The dowager picked up a teapot. “How do you take your tea, my dear?”
“Just black, please.”
“No cream or sugar?”
“Milk upsets my stomach so I avoid it if I can.”
At the dowager’s expression, Marianne interjected, “It is not as uncommon as you think, Mother.” Marianne passed Lucinda a cup of tea. “My friend Rose cannot abide milk either, so you are not alone there, Miss Sterling.”
“No milk it is. Now, Madame Millicent is a fabulous modiste and she may have some ready-made dresses you can have altered to take home today. Normally, I would shudder at such a thing, but you need some decent clothes to wear. I sent her a note this morning, so she is expecting us. If you are happy to go that is.”
Lucinda sipped her tea before answering. “Yes, thank you, I am grateful for your time.”
“Marianne informed me about your desire for a husband. That is not surprising at all. While there are many men to choose from, there are only a few that I would approve of for you or Marianne to marry. So, my dear, just like our gardeners we must weed the bad ones out. Tony can distinguish between men seeking heiresses and those genuinely looking for a good marriage. He seems to have a knack for it.”
Lucinda should be thrilled and delighted that her plan was coming to fruition.
Instead, all she could think about was her plan was actually coming to fruition and how was she going to survive this?
She had spent so much time dreaming about it, but now it was real.
It was happening. And she was going to be going to balls and dancing with strangers and hoped one of them would want to marry her.
She was going to be presented to the queen and have her come out, which she should have had years ago.
Now she was on the cusp of her new life, and it was not unlike standing on the edge of a cliff. Jumping would either make her or break her, but she had to take the chance. It was too late to turn back now.
Just jump, Lucinda!