Chapter 1
Sebastian
Present day
“Sebastian. You are the only one for me, too.”
Had it been twelve years since I had heard those words from Ara’s mouth? Had it been that long since I had kissed her and held her in my arms? Had she meant those words all those years ago? Would she still mean them now? Had she forgotten all about me? Or did she still love me as much as I loved her?
“Hello? Are you even listening to me?” Casey, my agent asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
“No. Not really. Did I need to be?” I replied.
“It’s a good thing you’re cute, and talented, and pay me well,” she countered.
“And it’s a good thing that you’re so good at your job so I can have a reason to pay you.”
I leaned back on the couch and watched my agent of over ten years pace my living room. The sun streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows and cast an almost angelic glow as she paced around my living room. She had shown up unannounced and had spent the last twenty minutes berating me.
We respected each other immensely; it didn’t mean that we didn’t bicker like siblings more often than not. She was the one person that told me like it was. She had been doing it since the first day I walked into her office, telling me everything I needed to change if I was going to succeed in Hollywood. It hadn’t been easy to hear but she had been right and I owed a lot of my success to her.
Even with all of that, it didn’t mean that I liked listening to her tell me something we had gone over ad nauseam for weeks now.
“It isn’t too late. I can get you out of this deal. It would take just one phone call,” Casey said. She lifted one finger to emphasize the point.
“No. Thank you, but no. I want to do this play, I’m doing this play, and that’s all there is to it. We’ve started rehearsals; I’ve moved to New York City. It’s happening.”
“Actors bow out of shows all the time. That is why they have an understudy,” she said.
“I think they have them in case you get sick, not if you decide to bail on the show.”
“Whatever. This is beneath you. You shouldn’t be doing some shitty Off-Broadway show that no one has ever heard of. You should be off in Switzerland, shooting the movie with Eleanor Carter.”
“While I am flattered by the offer, I must decline,”
Casey hadn’t wanted me to come to New York. In the months before I left, she had done everything she could to get me to change my mind. She had dangled movies, television shows, even book deals. I could understand her concern, it was a risk, one she didn’t want me to take. Broadway and its audiences had a way of not being kind to Hollywood actors.
I might have proven myself in California. I might be considered a sought-after A-list celebrity there, but in New York, I was nothing. I was starting from square one. I understood it. Casey did too; she just didn’t like it. As my agent, she was doing what she thought was best for me. I thought we had finished having this discussion but she apparently didn’t agree.
“The chance with Ms. Carter hadn’t come up before. It’s a juicy role. A role of a lifetime. You would be stupid to pass it up,” Casey said.
“I’m already committed to the play. I’m not going to back out of it. I told you this months ago. You didn’t need to come out here; my answer is going to be the same. Stop asking.”
“We didn’t have the script then. This has Oscar gold written all over it.” Casey waved the script in front of me.
I hadn’t read the script. I hadn’t wanted to. I hadn’t needed to. I was sure it was great. Eleanor Carter was an incredible writer and director. It didn’t matter to me. What she was offering, what Casey wanted me to do, was not what I wanted. It wasn’t where I saw my life and career going.
“You know I already have an Oscar, right?” I asked Casey
“Who doesn’t want more than one?”
“Maybe I’m looking to win a Tony?”
“You’re not going to win a Tony for this play. You will be lucky if anyone even sees it.” Disgust and annoyance laced her words.
“There’s a lot of buzz for the show. I would have thought you’d know that and be working to make sure there was more.”
“The less people who see or know about this play, the better you and your career are going to be. I agreed to let you do this, but you agreed to my terms as well.”
A shiver went down my spine as I remembered the deal we had made.
“It’s wonderful that you want to help a friend. I think it’s admirable that you think this has potential. But this could be career suicide. As your agent, as your friend, as a person who cares about you and your career, back out of this,” Casey said.
“No.”
Casey let out a frustrated groan and walked away from me. I had spent the last two weeks dodging her calls, not answering her emails, and ignoring her texts. With so many other clients in California, I thought she wouldn’t dare take the time to talk to me in person. I guess her need for me to accept the offer to work with Ms. Carter constituted her getting on a plane.
“We’ve been over this. It’s my career and my decision. You can either support me or you can no longer be my agent. I don’t care which one you choose.” I had used the same threat before I left for New York. I hoped it would work as well this time.
“Oh, no. You aren’t getting rid of me that easily. I didn’t work with you for over ten years for you to just throw me and it all away. We have a deal. I’m just giving you a chance to admit defeat before you ruin everything.”
“No,” I said.
“You hate New York. You said so in interviews. They’ll remember that. They’ll hate you for it.”
“You tried that tactic before. I never said I hated New York. I said that California and Hollywood were where I needed to be. At the time, it was. Now, the right decision is to be here. A man can change his mind, can’t he?”
“Not about this.” Casey waved her fingers at me and went back to pacing.
“Casey, we made our deal. I’ll stick to it. You need to do the same. Don’t you have other clients that you should be annoying other than me?”
“Right now, you’re the most important one as you’re the one making the biggest mistake.”
I stood and walked over to Casey. I took the script out of her hands and threw it in the trash. “Do not bring me any more scripts. Do not try and talk me out of this ever again. I am in New York and I’m not leaving New York until this play is done.”
In my mind, I added if ever but Casey didn’t need to know that. We might be honest with each other about some things, but she wasn’t going to know the real reason I was in New York City and why I was hoping to stay.
It was beyond personal and one that was years in the making. I had wronged the woman I loved when I was too young to know or understand what I was doing. I needed to win her back. The only way to do that was to be in New York City.
If I had to do a play that might not do well, then so be it. I was going to prove myself to New York, to the world, and most especially, to Aracely. I was a changed man. One who would put her and her needs above everything else.
I hadn’t done that in the past. I had been cruel to her. I had hurt her and I regretted doing it for years. Now was my chance to make amends. Now was my chance to try and get her to see me, the real me, and hopefully love me the way she once had.
This was the biggest risk of not only my career but my life. I knew what was at stake better than anyone else. I didn’t need Casey trying to convince me to change my mind. I had walked away from Aracely once; I wasn’t going to do it again. I was here for one reason and one reason alone, to make her love me again. I just needed to get her to talk to me first.