Chapter 4
Aracely
“Was he stalking you? Should we be worried?” Layla asked.
“No. I don’t think so. I mean he could have just been walking by and saw me leaving the hospital,” I suggested.
Ella leaned back in her chair and looked at me over her glass of Chardonnay. “I don’t know. It seems too convenient that he would just happen to be outside your work when you were leaving. It screams set-up to me.”
I glared back at Ella and shook my head. “No. There is no set-up. There is no conspiracy theory. The man just happened to be outside my work when I left it.”
We had met up after work at Henry’s, our favorite wine bar and happy hour spot, two days after I had seen Sebastian. I had thought I could put it behind me. It didn’t matter that he was there. New York City was a big city but it wasn’t that big of a city. I had assumed we would run into each other at some point. I told myself it wasn’t that big of a deal. I had thought I was going to be able to handle it. I thought that I would be okay seeing him. But apparently, I wasn’t.
“He didn’t talk to you? He didn’t try to say anything? He just stood there?” Layla asked.
“Well, he did wave,” I said and mimicked what he did.
“Really? That’s odd,” Layla said and looked over at Ella.
“Is he trying to be friends with you? Was he shocked that you were there? What was the vibe you were getting from him?” Ella asked.
“There wasn’t a lot of vibe to be had. I have no idea how to answer the question.”
“Okay,” Ella said slowly.
I was being snappy and I didn’t want to be. I had called them because I wanted to see them. I hadn’t thought I would tell them about seeing Bash. I had rationalized that I missed my friends. It was getting harder with them being married. But as soon as we had sat down, I told them that I had seen Bash and that was all we talked about for the last ten minutes. I had gotten just what I wanted when I told them. They had been honest, supportive, and asked questions I didn’t want to answer.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just trying to deal with this and obviously I’m not handling this as well as I should. I thought I was over him. But apparently not.”
“Of course, you aren’t,” Layla said matter-of-factly.
Ella laughed as I looked at Layla with my mouth open. Ella reached over and affectionately tapped my hand. “He was your first love. You still have feelings for him. It would be understandable that it would be hard to see him again.”
“I don’t have feelings for him,” I said and both Layla and Ella shook their heads at me.
“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?” Ella asked.
“I don’t need convincing,” I said.
“Are you sure? If you didn’t, you would have been fine seeing him. You wouldn't have needed to call us for an emergency happy hour,” Layla said.
“It wasn’t an emergency happy hour. I missed you,” I replied.
“And you needed to talk about Bash,” Ella added.
“He’s been in town for months. Why now? Why there? It doesn’t make sense,” I said.
“Maybe he just wanted to see you? Maybe he wanted to say hi. I mean, he did wave,” Ella said.
“He shouldn’t have. I was doing fine. I mean, I see his face literally everywhere I go. It’s like the city has gone Sebastian Anderson crazy. It’s ridiculous.” I downed the rest of my drink and signaled to the server that we wanted another round.
“I haven’t seen that many posters, have you?” Ella asked Layla.
“Shut up. They’re everywhere,” I put my glass down.
“You’re looking for them,” Ella said.
“Well, maybe not consciously,” Layla added.
“Are you saying my subconscious wants to see Bash? What, is my soul talking to his?” I asked and then thanked the server for our drinks.
“This is the last round for me tonight. I have a long day tomorrow,” Ella said.
“How is the new job going?” I asked.
“Good. Busy, challenging, but exactly what I wanted. I think we can do a lot of good and I’m looking forward to seeing what that is,” Ella said.
Ella had recently been promoted to head of all philanthropic endeavors for Dax’s, her husband’s, company. Her goal was to find ways to help the community through outreach programs, charitable donations, and anyway that she saw fit. She was going to work in conjunction with Layla’s husband, Nic’s, newest company. I knew that Ella was excited about what she could do and the chance to get to know Nic better.
“You’re going to do great. Nic’s already has some great ideas and is looking forward to meeting with you,” Layla said.
“I have a lot of ideas, too. I’ve spent the last two weeks getting organized and trying to hire my own staff. It’s been fun as there were a lot of people in the company that wanted to help me. It allowed me to find just the right people.”
“And did you?” Layla asked.
“I think so. Time will tell. But I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character and know who will work well on my team,” Ella said.
“You do. You had Dax’s office running so smooth he almost didn’t need to be there. You will do the same with this new job,” I said.
“Thank you. I’m nervous. It’s a big undertaking,” Ella admitted with a sigh.
“Come on. You ran your father’s company after he passed. Very successfully,” I said.
“Yeah, so much so that my stepmother almost didn’t let me leave the state,” Ella added.
“And you got out from under her thumb, and proved to Dax that not only were you the love of his life but a damn good employee. You’ve done great things since you came to New York. You will continue to do the same.”
“I hope so. I want to do right by Dax and Nic, and all the people who will be working with me,” Ella said.
Layla patted Ella’s hand and gave her a reassuring smile. “You will. If you need any help, you can always count on us. Just like Ara can count on us to help keep her mind off Bash when she needs us to.”
“And you do that by bringing him up again?” I asked and took a sip of my drink.
I had been more than happy to get off the subject of Bash and my feelings for him. I wanted to hear about Ella and her job and how Layla was settling into married life. I really did miss my friends and wanted to catch up.
“Only to tell you that we are here for you. I don’t think that is the last you’ve seen of Bash. If I could give my two cents,” Ella said.
“You will even if I don’t want you to,” I teased.
“Do you not want it?” Ella asked. There was a slight hurt tone to her voice but I could see she was teasing me.
“Of course, I want it. Why do you think that?” I asked her.
“I think that Bash has some unfinished business with you. I think there’s a reason he came to New York. It might be to say good-bye to you and resolve any feelings. Which might be a good thing for you, too,” Ella said.
“Or he came to the city to win you back,” Layla suggested.
“Forever the hopeless romantic. My life isn’t a fairy tale like yours are,” I said and looked at Layla and then Ella. Their romances with their men had been rocky at times but had seemed like stuff out of a romance novel.
“It doesn’t feel like a fairy tale when I can’t get Nic to agree on any of the venues I want for our reception,” Layla said.
“What did he veto now?” I asked.
Layla filled us in on her venue crisis with Nic. It was very sweet, as Layla didn’t want to make a big deal of the reception. If she had her way, it wouldn’t happen at all. She and Nic had been married in a simple civil ceremony a few months ago. She didn’t feel the need to have anything else. Nic, on the other hand, wanted her to have a big day where everyone celebrated her. She didn’t want to make a fuss but had agreed for Nic’s sake. Since then, they had argued over who would be invited, where to have it, and how big it would be. It didn’t help Layla when Ella and I were all for having the biggest reception possible. I had even sent him a few ideas on places to have it that Layla hadn’t liked.
It was early when we left the bar, with Layla no closer to deciding on a venue. I had wanted to stay but understood my friends had other obligations. It had been easier for us to do things and stay out later before their lives got more complicated. I was happy for them, but it only made me less excited about going back to my apartment alone.
I thought about staying, having a drink, chatting up the bartender, or even hitting another bar, but my heart wasn’t in it. I made a slow, leisurely walk back to my apartment. I thought about my evening of reading medical journals and streaming a show alone and it depressed me. I had been in a rut the last few months. I had wanted to blame it on my friends and them being too busy for me. But it wasn’t their fault. They had found love, they had moved on with their lives, I hadn’t done the same.
School and my residency had kept me busy and it had been a good excuse to not want to put myself out there. I had always thought the right person would just come along or I would look for them when I found the time, obviously, neither had happened.
I had been avoiding getting involved for too long. First, I had hoped that Bash would come back and then I had been too hurt to want to get involved with anyone else. Then, Ella had come to town and I didn’t want to be distracted by a man when I got my friend back. Now, Ella was married, Bash was back in town, and clearly didn’t want to see me. I needed to get over my hurt. The best way to get out of my funk and to get over Bash was to find someone new. It wasn’t going to happen until I put myself out there.
There were plenty of dating apps and I was sure if I looked, I could find someone in my class or at the hospital that I could date. There was always Steve Collier to fall back on but we had always been friends, nothing more. There was no point in pursuing something that was never going to last.
And I did want something long-lasting. I wanted what Ella and Layla had found; I just wasn’t sure if I was ever going to find it. Well, I had found it once, or thought I had, and it had blown up in my face. I needed to stop living in the past. Seeing Bash had reminded me of that, and as hard as it was, I needed to let him go. Only then could I move on.
Feeling a bit better, I turned the corner to my apartment and stopped in my tracks. I crossed my arms and tilted my head as I saw the last person I expected outside my apartment. He leaned up against the wall as if he didn’t have a care in the world. As if it was completely normal for him to be outside my apartment in the middle of the night. His cool demeanor only made me more nervous but I didn’t let it show. When I was standing in front of him, I tried to sound as nonchalant as he looked when I said, “Bash, what are you doing here?”