Chapter 12
Aracely
The day hadn’t been hard exactly, but it had been long. I had wanted to get a sense of what it was like to really work in the Emergency Department. I had gotten that in spades when one of the doctors had called out and we didn’t have any coverage. Between the broken bones, lacerations, the occasional heart attack, or car accident, not to mention the mental health patients and the drug overdose I hadn’t stopped. For the last ten hours my skills as a doctor had been put to the test. It hadn’t been easy but it had been invigorating.
I felt both emotionally and physically drained but also euphoric. it had been hard but I had come out of it a stronger and better doctor. I had been worried that I wasn’t going to make it through at times. In the end, I knew that not only could I be a good Emergency Room doctor but I wanted to be.
Dr. Campbell, the head of the Emergency Room department, had been impressed with my work.
“Be proud of what you did today. You really stepped up and I couldn’t have done it without you. There is nothing like coming down from a heavy shift, but understand, you are going to crash and crash hard. Allow yourself. Sleep, rest, cry, eat bad food, do nothing. Whatever you need to do to be able to come back to work. In three days.”
I smiled and reassured him. “Thank you but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I can come back tomorrow.”
“You need the time to rest, to recuperate. We all do. It’s how we allow ourselves to be better doctors. You just started in this career. I don’t want you to burn out before you’ve even begun.”
“I don’t mind coming in. You’re short-staffed. I want to help.” I countered.
“We’ll be fine. We were able to get some per diem workers to cover. People I have worked with before and are excellent. Take your time off. I promise, I will be doing the same,” he had said.
“Three days is a long time; I can take two,” I suggested.
“No. Three is not a long time. You’ve been working non-stop the last three weeks. Go. That is an order.” As if to emphasize the point, he had pointed to the door and practically pushed me out of it.
As I stood outside the hospital, I tilted my head up and understood what Dr. Campbell meant by being on a high. I felt good, I felt invigorated, I felt invincible. I dropped my head down and reached for my phone and went to call Bash.
Before I could hit send, I stopped myself and took a shallow breath. When had he become the first person I wanted to talk to about my day? And why wasn’t I more upset about the idea?
We had been spending more time together. We were getting closer and I liked that we were. He hadn’t just been my boyfriend when we were younger, we had been like best friends. Ella and Layla were my true best friends, but Bash was a very close second.
I hadn’t realized how much I had missed Bash’s friendship until I had it back. And while we had never discussed what we were, I could feel us moving toward something more. Bash had said as much at McCarthy’s a few nights ago. I hadn’t known what to say to his admission so I hadn’t. I appreciated that he didn’t push me. But there was a part of me that wished he had. It was getting harder to be around him and just be his friend. His words told me that he had missed me, that he wanted us back, but he hadn’t made a move to do it. I wanted to think he was giving me time, but I thought he knew me well enough to know that I was a woman who liked action over anything else.
There were still unanswered questions and hurt between us. I could see he was open to discussing our past and the mistakes we both made. I was too. I just couldn’t decide if it was because I wanted to be able to find the closure Ella was so emphatic that I get, or if I wanted to believe Bash and I could have something like Layla wished.
I wasn’t sure if it really mattered. Bash had never talked about what he wanted for his future. He certainly never indicated that he wanted it to include me. He told me he was sorry and that he missed me but there had been no declarations of love or confessions of wanting to get me back.
He came to New York to do a play; he had never talked about staying. I didn’t want to get involved with him again if he was just going to leave. He had done it before; it was safer for me to assume that he was going to do it again.
Yet, he was a completely different man that I remembered. He was still cocky; he still had a look about him that said he was going to do whatever he wanted to do and damn the consequences. But there was a maturity to him that I had never seen before. It made me think that he had a plan but he wasn’t ready to share it with me yet. I was a little worried about what that plan might be. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was a little excited to find out.
I put my phone away and walked away from the hospital. It was a gorgeous night and I decided I didn’t want to take the train back. I still thought about Bash but I could feel the adrenaline of the day starting to leave me. The idea of going home, having some leftover pizza with some wine, and watching a movie suddenly sounded like the perfect idea.
I immediately thought about calling Bash and seeing if he wanted to join me. I hadn’t yet invited him to my place and he hadn’t pushed to come over. McCarthy’s had become an unsaid neutral territory. It was a good safe place for us to hang out and I had been happy to have it, but I wanted more.
Would it be so bad if we went out to dinner? Went on an actual date? I wasn’t even sure if we had when we were younger. Would it be smart to? Was it just inevitable that we were going to end up in bed together? Was this what we both needed so we could move on with our lives? Was it what I needed so I could truly say good-bye to Bash and what we had?
I dated some when I was in college and medical school, but nothing had ever been serious. Was I holding back because I hadn’t let go of Bash? Was this my chance to do that? Would being with him give me the freedom I needed to hopefully find what Ella and Layla had found?
Would it be fair to do that to Bash? To use him that way? Could I even tell him that was what I wanted or what we should do? Was it too crazy of an idea to even contemplate? Or was it exactly what we needed?
I felt my phone ring in my purse and I smiled when I saw it was Bash calling. He seemed to have a sixth sense about knowing when I was thinking about him and when to call me. He also asked for and remembered my work schedule. I tried to do the same with his rehearsal schedule but it changed so frequently, he never could tell me for sure.
“Well, hello there. I was just thinking about you,” I said as I answered the phone.
“All good things and maybe a few bad ones, I hope,” Bash said.
I smiled and could feel myself blushing. Bash would always make little comments like that, which would make any woman think he was flirting with them. I had just thought it was his way. Flirting and teasing a woman came to him as easily as breathing. But that was before I allowed myself to think of him as anything more than my friend. What if he was flirting with me? What if he meant what he was saying?
“Possibly. That is for me to know and you to find out,” I teased back.
“Oh really? How do I get to find out these things?” he asked.
“What are your plans for the weekend? I have a few days off and I thought we could hang out. Maybe I could show you what New York is like other than how cool our bars are?” I suggested.
“Three days off? You have three days off?” Bash asked.
I could hear the shock in his voice. He knew how hard I worked and while they were good about giving us some time off, three days was unheard of.
“Dr. Campbell took pity on me after I did a few long days. He told me to take the weekend and Monday off. I almost didn’t believe him when he said it. But it’s true.”
“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” Bash asked.
“It was a bit unexpected, so no. I almost don’t know what to do with myself,” I admitted. I knew it wasn’t a smart move to tell a guy, even Bash, that I was free for the weekend, but it was the truth and I wanted to see him.
“No plans with Ella or Layla?” Bash asked.
“I thought I was going to be working and I think Layla and Nic were going to see his father in Long Island and Ella and Dax were heading out of town.”
“That’s an excellent idea. I think we should do the same thing,” Bash said.
“Go see Nic’s father in Long Island?” I asked. I thought I knew what Bash was getting at but I wasn’t sure. Nor was I sure how I felt about it.
“No. Though if you really want to, I’m sure we can crash their party. I was thinking about getting out of town and was hoping you might join me.”
“Bash,” I said slowly.
“Come on. You’ve had a stressful couple of days. I have, too. I think we both could use a chance to get out of town, relax, and forget about our troubles for a while. I’m not saying anything is going to happen. I’m not saying anything won’t. But I missed you, every day, every moment. And I hope you will give me the chance to make it up to you. This is a chance to do that. I would like us to spend some time, just us. Not at a bar, not when we have work the next day, or any other obligations. Just us.”
He was saying those words again, how he had missed me, how he wanted to make it up to me, and I felt it to my core. I missed him too and I wanted to see what he meant by making it up to me. It was crazy and I knew it was probably going to go very bad in the end, but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to say yes.
“I probably should do some studying. Get ready for my next shift,” I said.
“You can bring your books with you. I’ll help you study.”
I quickly imagined how he would help me with my anatomy and smiled. I might want to go with him but that didn’t mean I couldn’t make him squirm a little before I did.
“Did you even make reservations anywhere? I doubt you’d find any place we could go on such short notice. Maybe it might be best to plan it for another time,” I suggested.
“No. I already called the place and they are expecting us. Both of us,” he added.
“Both of us. So, it was a foregone conclusion that I was going to be joining you this weekend, huh? Am I that predictable or gullible?” I teased.
“Ara. There are a thousand things that you are, all of them more wonderful than the last, but predictable or gullible are not on the list. I was hopeful. And yes, I thought if I already had the reservations, you would be less likely to tell me no, plus, I thought it would be fun to surprise you. I didn’t think you would be able to go for the whole time but you can, so it’s kismet.”
He was right. I did like surprises but I liked knowing that the person took the time to make the surprise. Bash had done all of that, and it only made saying yes that much easier.
“Are you sure you can be gone all weekend? Don’t you have rehearsal and other obligations in the city? Did you stop to think that I might?” I asked.
“I was hoping you would have even one day free. I will take any and all the time you can give me, but you were the one who said you had three days. Don’t you think you deserve to take them by getting away?”
“You aren’t playing fair. You’re saying all the right things and you know it.”
“I’ve known you for a while. It comes with the territory. Just like you know me. You know I won’t take no for an answer. And I know you’re just stalling until you say yes. How about this? I’ll be at your place in twenty minutes to pick you up. If you’re outside your door. I will take you with me. If not, I will understand and go on my own. Fair?”
He was pushing me to commit and he knew he had me. It would be just like him to drive by my place, make sure I saw him and then drive away. I didn’t want that and he was right, he knew me and knew what I was going to do.
I held the phone closer to my face as I said, “Can you make it thirty minutes?”