Chapter 15
Sebastian
I was startled awake by movement next to my bed. I opened my eyes to see Ara standing next to my bed. She was wearing a sheer black lace babydoll nightie that barely covered her breasts much less her legs or anything else. I leaned back, taken aback that she was there.
“Ara. Are you okay? Did something happen?” I asked and sat up in my bed.
“No, nothing happened yet, but it’s about to,” she said.
I watched transfixed as she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed with me. My arms immediately went to her, pulling me to me. Her body was soft and yielding as she pushed up against me. I ran my hands up her face and into her hair.
“Ara. I . . . You . . .” I stammered. “Are you sure?”
“I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you. I love you. Please, don’t make me spend another night without you.”
“Never,” I said and went to kiss her, only to have her disappear as I woke up.
I rolled over and muffled a scream into my pillow. The idea of spending time alone with Ara seemed like the perfect idea. I hadn’t thought about what it would be like to be truly alone with her. To sit across from her as she drank a glass of wine and laughed at some comment I made. I didn’t think about what it would be like to go to bed knowing that she was just a wall away from me. I hadn’t thought about how wonderful and yet horrible it all would be.
We opened the bottle of wine, a nice blend I had from my trip to St Emilion. We only had one glass before Ara was dozing off again. It was sweet that she tried to stay awake for me but she was exhausted. She had done her level best but, in the end, it was a losing battle.
I had resisted the urge to help her to bed. I had a feeling if I had, it wouldn’t have ended with me just tucking her in, but trying to find a way to join her. I wanted Ara, more with each breath that I took, but I didn’t want her when she was tired or vulnerable. I had fallen in love with a strong, vibrant, opinionated, and incredible woman. She was still all of that, but she wasn't at her best last night and I wasn’t going to take advantage.
It didn’t make for an easy night's sleep for me. The walls were thin, or my mind thought they were. I could have sworn I heard her breathing and even calling out my name a few times in the night. It was no wonder I had a very sexy dream about her and woke up desperate to have her.
We had never discussed what we were and I hadn’t pushed it. The one time I had brought up my feelings for her, she hadn’t responded but instead pretended like I’d never said it. She wasn’t one who hid what she was thinking or feeling and I was worried she hadn’t said anything because she was afraid of hurting my feelings.
I didn’t want to think that was the case. There were times when she would look at me and I just knew she still loved me. I could understand her desire to keep me at a distance at first, but not anymore. I hoped I had more than proven to her that I was someone she could count on and trust. Someone who would be there for her no matter what.
The next three days gave me a chance to do that. I needed to get away. If anything was going to keep me from going stir crazy while I waited to hear from Isla, it was Ara. She had sounded like she needed a break too and I was glad to give it to her. Though now that we were here, I was worried that I had been put into the friend zone and there was no getting out of it.
With a frustrated groan, I got out of bed and thought about what I was going to do with the morning. If I remembered correctly, Ara wasn’t one to get up any earlier than she had to. Considering how tired she had been the night before; I wouldn’t put it past her to want to sleep the day away. I would be disappointed if we lost the time but didn’t want to deny her whatever she needed.
I got dressed and tried to remember if I had brought my computer or even a notebook so I could work on the play. I had some ideas in mind but I wasn’t sure if I should. Would I just be jinxing it to fail if I made headway before I knew I even needed to. Or was I only giving myself more of a difficult deadline if I didn’t have something to give to them immediately?
It was a question I couldn’t answer without some caffeine. Grace had told me the kitchen was stocked with the essentials, I hoped that included coffee. Getting out of bed, I pulled on a pair of gym shorts and walked out into the living room. I stopped when I saw that Ara was already up.
The sight made my heart jump a little. Her back was to me and her long red hair cascaded down her back. She wore a pair of gray leggings that hugged her body in the most spectacular of ways. Her maroon sweatshirt was loose and hung down over one shoulder. I couldn’t tell if she was wearing a bra but I had a feeling she wasn’t.
Seeing her like that, humming a tune softly as she made herself a cup of coffee, loved filled me. I wanted to see her like this every day. I wanted to wake up in the morning and make her coffee. I wanted to sit across from her on our bed as we drank it and talked about our day. I wanted her to come home to me and tell me all about the people she saved. I wanted to have our children come running into our arms after a day at school.
Ara turned while I was lost in my daydream and let out a shocked cry when she saw me standing there.
“Bash. What are you doing up?” she asked and put her hand to her chest.
“All through sleeping,” I said with a shrug. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you before noon.” I walked toward her and the kitchen.
“No. I slept like a log. The bed is very comfortable and warm. I woke up about an hour ago and laid there for a while. I thought I might go back to sleep but I realized I was ready to get up so I did. I hope I didn’t wake you,” she said.
I wasn’t going to tell her that she had woken me up, but not in the way that she thought. I shook my head and tilted my head toward the coffee maker. “Is there enough for me?”
“Yeah. Sure. Sorry. I’ll get out of your way,” she said, flustered.
“Thanks.” I walked past her to get to the coffee and the mugs but misjudged how she was going to move and we ended up pushing up against each other.
I felt her breasts up against my chest and all I could think was that she definitely was not wearing a bra. She put her hands up with her coffee and almost spilled it. “Shoot. Sorry,” she said again.
“All good,” I said and tried to move out of her way, only to have her move the same way again.
I wasn’t sure if I should be impressed that we were thinking the same thing, or annoyed that every time we did, we touched. It sent my senses into overdrive. Knowing that we could keep doing this for a while, I put my hands on her hips to stop her movement.
It was a mistake. I hadn’t touched Ara much, or at all. I hadn’t thought too deeply about why until that moment. Just touching her hips, even through her leggings, I could feel her skin, her heat, and my desire to have her intensified. She must have felt it too because her eyes shot up to mine and her mouth opened slightly.
We stood in front of each other for long moments. I wanted to increase the pressure of my hands on her hips. I wanted to move them around to her back and pull her to me. I wanted to drop my head down and brush my lips against hers and everything else that would come after.
My eyes moved to her lips and I watched transfixed as she slowly licked them. I wanted to know if that was an invitation or a dare, or maybe a bit of both. I could feel her breathing become more shallow and her eyes get heavy with desire.
I had lived most of my life wanting and loving the woman who was standing next to me. I knew that I would die wanting her as much as I did at that moment. She was a drug, a constant in my life; I needed her as much as I needed my next breath. She was the most important person in my life and while I wanted to reach up and lift her onto the kitchen counter, that wasn’t the way to win her over.
“How is the coffee?” I asked. My voice deeper than I thought it would be.
“Go-good. I like it strong; I hope that’s okay?” Ara asked.
I wanted to tease her and ask if she liked her men the way she liked her coffee, but I didn’t. Instead, I said, “If it’s too much, I can add some sugar. But I should be sweet enough on my own.”
The comment had the desired effect and Ara laughed and moved away from me. With my hands no longer on her hips, I could think again. I went and got myself some coffee. When I turned around, it was to see Ara on the other side of the kitchen, leaning up against the counter. She wouldn’t look at me and I wasn’t sure why.
Had she not liked that I had touched her? Did she not want me to? Had I read her and the situation wrong? Had I already lost any chance to be with her? All those thoughts and more ran through my head as I took a sip of my coffee.
I tried to will Ara with my mind and gaze to look at me but it was a long while before she did. When she did, she looked nothing like the woman who had licked her lips and locked eyes with me moments before. The flirtation, the desire, the need I had seen were gone. It was like I had imagined it, but I knew I hadn’t.
“You make good coffee. I take it that has become an occupational hazard?” I asked.
“I couldn’t stand coffee when I started med school. Now, I can’t get through a day without it. Certainly not my morning. It has progressively gotten stronger through the years.”
“This is close to tar, so I can see that.” I held up my cup to her.
“Is it too strong? I’m sorry. I was groggy this morning and might have made it stronger than normal. Do you want to make another pot?”
“No This is good. I like my coffee strong and this might be the strongest cup I’ve ever had. So, thank you.” I took a sip and let the caffeine and the warmth move through my body. It helped to have a little distance between me and Ara. My body needed to recover after being close to her for even a few moments.
“I was thinking of checking out the camp? See how it changed? Maybe take a hike along the lake. Do you want to join me? Or you could hang here. Whatever you want to do,” I said.
“Yeah. The hike sounds like fun. I would love to see what Grace did. I was checking out their website and they have a ropes course and a zipline now. I’m not sure if we can go on them but it would be fun to see.”
“Great. I’ll take a shower and we can head out. Unless you need to take one?” I asked.
“I’m good. I’ll take it after we get back. I’ll get changed and meet you out here later,” she said. She put her cup in the sink and gave me a dazzling smile as she walked past me. I wanted to believe there was a hint of flirtation in the look but I couldn’t be sure.
“Meet you out here,” I called. As I headed to the shower, I knew it was going to be a cold one and I had a feeling it was going to be the first of many.