Chapter 8 #5
Hester glanced over to see Spathfoy was studying the rose gardens beyond the terrace. The damned man would be procuring a menagerie for Fiona at the rate Ian was making promises to the child.
“And I’ll write to you, Fee. We’ll all write to you, and I’m guessing your mama will go directly to Quinworth when she comes back to England.”
“But that’s why I don’t want to go.” Fiona hopped off his lap. “Mama will think I did not miss her because I went to Grandpapa’s, or maybe she’ll think I’m angry at her.” Fiona had spoken in English and crossed the room to take Spathfoy’s hand. “I don’t want to hurt my mama’s feelings.”
Spathfoy glanced down at the girl who peered up at him. Hester held her breath, waiting for some imperious pronouncement spoken in clipped, precise tones.
Instead he went down on his haunches and met the child’s gaze. “Now here’s a difficulty, Niece. I don’t want to hurt your mama’s feelings, either, but I have my papa to deal with. He asked me to fetch you south, and I told him I would.”
“I can write my grandpapa and tell him you tried very hard. I’ll come visit as soon as Mama says I can.”
Spathfoy studied her much smaller hand in his. “Your uncle Ian is right, Fiona. Your grandpapa is not a young man. I think he’s looking forward to meeting you very, very much.”
“Do you have a pony there?”
“I’m sure we can find a pony for you.”
“And you’d teach me to ride it?”
Hester could not watch while Spathfoy reeled the child in—guddled her trust—with the means Ian had handed him.
“You already know how to ride quite well, if my experience with you on Rowan is any indication, but yes, I will provide what instruction you need.”
“And a rabbit?”
Spathfoy bit his lip, probably the first time Hester had seen the man hesitate over a word. “I’m not teaching you how to ride a rabbit, Niece. I’ve no notion how such a thing would be undertaken.”
Fiona grinned hugely. “No, Uncle, may I have a rabbit for my pet when I’m at Grandpapa’s?”
“Yes, you may. Now will you agree to come with me?”
“I will, but just for a visit.”
“Fiona, there’s more you need to know.” Hester spoke with admirable calm considering her heart was breaking for the child, for herself, and for the Earl of Balfour as well.
“What else? Unicorns aren’t real, and I don’t want a lion for a pet because he might eat my rabbit and scare my pony.”
“He would scare me as well, and likely even your uncle Tye.” Hester sat on the sofa and patted the place beside her. Fiona abandoned her uncle and joined Hester on the sofa.
“Your uncle is inviting you for a visit, and Uncle Ian thinks it would be nice of you to go. I am worried, though.”
“I’ll write to you, Aunt Hester, and I’m only going for a visit. You’ll miss me, and then I’ll come back, and you can pummel me at the matching game again. Maybe I’ll pummel my grandpapa while I’m visiting.”
“I’m anxious,” Hester said, ignoring her own urge to pummel Lord Quinworth and his handsome, silver-tongued, mendacious son. “Your grandpapa might have such a grand time when you go visit him that he won’t let you come back to us when you want to.”
Fiona’s expression shifted to a thoughtful frown. “Uncle Tye will talk to him, and Mama will come get me.” Her mouth curved into a smile. “Or I can ride my pony all the way home, like Uncle rode Flying Rowan out from Aberdeen.”
“Fiona has the right of it.” Spathfoy came down on the child’s other side.
“If she’s not thriving in Northumbria, I will certainly have a very pointed discussion with my father, perhaps several pointed discussions.
” He was silent a moment. “Perhaps many such discussions, and I’m sure Balfour will abet me in this regard. ”
He looked directly at Hester when he spoke, which cast her into some confusion. He was going to deliver the child to Quinworth, then lobby for Fiona’s return to Scotland? Then why take her south in the first place?
Ian rose from his seat at the desk. “Well, that’s settled, then. Fiona, I’ll be at the train station to see you off tomorrow, and so will your aunt Augusta. I’ll have a letter for you to deliver to your uncle Con, and I want you to pass it directly into his hand. Can you do that for me?”
She bounced off the sofa. “I can do that, Uncle Ian, but I must go tell Hannibal I’m going on a journey, and the hens will want to know.”
“Come along then.” He extended a hand toward the child. “You’ll be up half the night packing unless I miss my guess. I don’t suppose you’d like to take your wee cousin with you when you leave?”
Fiona fell in with Ian’s teasing and left the room in great good spirits.
Hester let the ensuing silence stretch until she couldn’t bear it any longer. “Did you mean it?”
Spathfoy was on his feet, staring out the window, his back to Hester where she sat on the sofa. “That I will take my father to task if Fiona’s unhappy? Yes, I meant that, though I will also make every effort to see that Fiona thrives at Quinworth.”
“I do not understand why you must do this.” She got up to pace, resenting the need for further conversation with him. “You are arrogant, Spathfoy, and you’ve been deceptive, but I don’t read you as cruel or stupid. Why would you do this to a helpless child?”
“I’m arrogant? Fiona says I’m mean.”
“You are not mean.”
He turned to regard her. “I had hoped you would see this as an opportunity for Fiona, Hester, an opportunity she might easily adjust to if you were in the same household.”
“Do not cozen me, Spathfoy. My guess is you considered having Fiona under your father’s roof an inducement to sweeten the offer of marriage you made me. It matters not. I’m not marrying you, and Fiona is being taken away from her family.”
“I am her family too, Hester. More so in some regards than you are.”
“I love her.”
She’d said as much only a handful of days ago, but he was listening to her now. Hester perceived this in the way he regarded her, steadily and maybe unhappily.
“Do you suppose I do not love her, Hester? Is that why I and my relations are such a poor choice for the child? Can a child be loved and cared for properly only in Scotland?”
She didn’t know how to answer that. He looked troubled and tired standing by the window, and very much alone.
“I wasn’t going to go south with you, you know.”
“Ah. You were toying with me, then? Striking a blow for beleaguered women everywhere?”
She didn’t quite believe the mockery in his tone. “I was not. I wasn’t going to refuse you, either. I was going to ask for some time to consider our situation when my head wasn’t so muddled.”
He nodded, a cautious inclination of his head that gave nothing away.
“I don’t trust my judgment, Spathfoy. I laughed with you, you see, and this was… oh, why am I bothering to explain when I am so confused in my own thinking?”
“Go on, by all means. If you’re rejecting a man’s offer—the first such offer I’ve made, by the way—you can at least tell him why.”
“That is not fair, Tiberius.” He waited until now to tell her he’d never proposed to anyone else? And damn him to Hades, for she believed him. He’d lied about the purpose of his visit, but she believed him about this.
And about almost everything else, too.
He shifted away from the window and took the place beside her. “I tried to warn you, if you’ll recall.”
“You said not to trust you, is that what you mean?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face and nodded.
“Yes, but then I got muddled too, you see. When I set out for Aberdeenshire, I thought I’d be plucking an orphaned child from very humble circumstances and gaining every advantage for her.
I’d appease my father, set some other matters to rights, and be back in England within a week. ”
“Are you admitting you’re perpetrating a wrong?” It would put Hester in quite a quandary if he were.
“I’m admitting I gave my word on a matter without properly researching it, and that as a consequence of my negligence, there are now results contrary to what I intended.”
He was back to making grand, obfuscatory speeches. “That is not an apology.” Which ought to relieve her, but did not.
“It is an explanation, also very likely a waste of time in present company.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cushions, the image of a weary, defeated man.
“I am sorry, Hester, for misrepresenting myself in the guise of a guest, and for not clearing up my purpose for being here before I became irrevocably intimate with you.”
“What do you expect me to say to that, Spathfoy? That I’m sorry as well?”
“I am sorry I’ve given you cause to doubt your judgment again.” He spoke very softly. “I would do anything to redress that wrong, but, Hester, has it occurred to you we might already have conceived a child?”
***
The list of reasons why Tye could properly label himself an imbecile—and worse—was endless.
He’d egregiously misjudged Hester’s reaction to having Fiona placed in her grandfather’s care.
In the alternative, he’d miscalculated Hester’s reaction to not learning of this eventuality sooner and from Tye himself.
He’d also completely misunderstood Hester’s hesitance in giving him an answer to his proposal. She hadn’t been being coy or manipulative, she’d been… muddled, doubting herself.
He’d underestimated Balfour’s commitment to the child, and shuddered to think what manner of legal and social havoc was going to result when Clan MacGregor took up the cause of Fiona’s repatriation.
He’d badly, badly bungled matters when he’d allowed himself the ultimate intimacy with Hester last night, and for that, mere apologies would not do.
“If you are carrying my child, I hope you will reconsider my proposal, Hester.”
“Our child.” She shot to her feet and marched off on a circuit of the room. “How likely is it that I’m with child, Spathfoy? I know very little of these things.”