Chapter 12 Let the Flames Begin #2
“I just try to know about the world.” He smiled again, this time with a more wistful tint. “I didn’t go to college, which I feel insecure about sometimes. Especially when my kid comes home with math problems that look like Greek to me. So I learn what I can.”
Eve was further surprised to hear that he was insecure about anything; prior to this conversation, he seemed so self-possessed.
“Even standing here talking to you is a little intimidating,” he said.
“Me? Why?”
“You have how many degrees?”
“Please.” Eve snickered at the thought. “I promise you don’t need a degree to learn anything I know.”
“Why’d you get ’em then?”
“I didn’t really have a choice. My parents wouldn’t have allowed anything less. Nor would the world.” When his eyebrows furrowed, she added, “I’m a Black woman, so a degree is generally the only way to get my foot in the door. They’ll let you in with little more than a nice smile.”
Jamie nodded slowly. “Fair enough.”
“It’s not fair at all,” Eve mumbled, sipping her wine again. “But y’know, whiteness.”
“I got it,” he said, his eyes landing on her, and she was thankful there was amusement in them. He was a good sport. “No college for me, I guess.”
“If it’s something you wanna do, I would never tell you not to,” Eve said. “But you shouldn’t feel intimidated by me. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed talking to anyone this much.”
He answered with a ghost of a smile on his lips, the warmth in his eyes only growing warmer as he regarded her. “Likewise,” he said.
Eve looked away, fearing getting lost in his stare.
Then, in the distance, she noticed a pattern of faintly flashing lights dotting the darkness, and her initial instinct was to wonder if she was seeing little fires somehow igniting in the mountains.
But no, the much likelier culprit was the lore of the Great Smoky Mountains, which Jamie had been kind enough to remind her of on her first night there.
“Are those fireflies?” she wondered out loud.
Jamie turned his head, peering into the dark until there was a spark of recognition dancing in his blue gaze. “Yeah, they are,” he said, clearly awed by the magical sight. “They’re late this year, but that’s definitely them.”
It wasn’t long before the mountains echoed like a stadium shimmering with cell phone flashes.
The fact that pure nature was putting on a light show, as if just for the two of them, left Eve in pure wonderment, feeling as though she could reach out and touch the stars.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, wishing she had something more valuable to add to the moment.
Instead, she stared, for minutes on end, Jamie watching with her, as the fireflies did their coordinated caper through the sky.
Hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny beacons of light.
It felt surreal and intimate and exhilarating, and much to Eve’s surprise, she was elated she had someone to share it with.
Eve wasn’t sure what was happening. Why she couldn’t ignore these prickles of emotion that materialized whenever she was close to Jamie.
There was an attraction there, yes, and she wanted to be mad that it wouldn’t go away.
But it was more than that. It was the simple act of being close to someone when she felt so disconnected from her real life.
She wore a facade like armor, but Jamie was so willing to be vulnerable anyway.
She’d known this man for all of two weeks, but she trusted him.
On the lowest of keys, she wanted him to trust her.
It was such a peculiar and unwelcome feeling, but she didn’t know how to fight it. And maybe she wasn’t supposed to.
“You remember that boyfriend I told you about?” she asked.
“Yeah…”
“He was my fiancé.” Her brown eyes were wide and pleading, waiting for him to react, but he didn’t.
“His mother taught me to make that braciole.” She paused, recalling the many Sundays spent in the kitchen with Greta Coletti helping her perfect the dish.
“And he loved me so much that I thought I would suffocate. So I left.”
Jamie didn’t speak—perhaps he was speechless—and instead simply watched her.
“I came here because I couldn’t spend another minute in that brownstone. I couldn’t pretend I cared anymore.”
He nodded, but it was still a long time before he said anything, needing the space to digest all of her lies, if she had to guess.
“It feels like this is the first time you’ve been honest with me,” Jamie said, his voice just above a whisper.
Eve closed her eyes, feeling like he was seeing right through her.
She wanted so badly not to feel things and thought he was going to be the distraction she needed.
But instead, he just made her feel different things.
Kouri pou lapli, tonbe nan larivyè , as her father would say.
Running from the rain, falling in the river.
It didn’t change the fact that Jamie gave her butterflies.
Maybe fireflies. He opened her up without even trying.
It made her want to run for her life. But there she stood.
“Jamie,” she whispered back, her voice breaking as a new tear slipped down her cheek.
He moved to wipe it from her face, and the two of them were suddenly standing so close, she could feel his warm, wine-scented breath touch her skin.
“I’m glad you came here,” he said. He allowed his thumb to slip down to her bottom lip, caressing her soft, wet flesh as their eyes locked, and time seemed to stop.
Eve’s mind was screaming, Do it, just kiss him , as her body so clearly wanted. Despite the cool outside air, she felt hot, her nervous energy seeming to wrap its fingers around her throat, rendering her stock-still, unable to make the first move.
She was thankful when Jamie did, his graceful fingers caressing her jaw.
She exhaled a wobbly breath, an expression of her excitement and uncertainty, just before he leaned in with the kiss.
His lips were gloriously soft, and she liked the tickle of his beard against her face.
His kiss was gentle. As her tongue touched his, he moved his hand to the small of her back, pulling her closer, their bodies melting together, leaving Eve feeling more alive than she had in months. Probably years.
As the two of them separated for air, Eve pinned against the balcony railing as Jamie’s face flushed, the unexpected moment leaving her a bit dizzy, she was already kicking herself for the words that were about to come out of her mouth next.
“You wanna have sex?”
She asked it plainly, devoid of any romance or even emotion—which, to be fair, she wasn’t looking for.
Quite the opposite, really. It had been a long time since she even wanted anything in the realm of physical intimacy, after years of associating sex with trauma.
But as they stood there, chest to chest, her lips tingling from his, she became acutely aware that she wanted him .
Jamie forced his gaze from her mouth and looked her in the eye, his eyebrow quirked with what she hoped was intrigue and not him thinking she was out of her mind. Even if she was. “Is…that what you want?”
Eve nodded eagerly before pulling him in for another kiss. Her fingers enmeshed in his beard, obsessed with the fuzzy feeling against her fingertips, his hot tongue lashing against hers, she led him back inside with her lips.
The two of them stumbled blindly through the unfamiliar terrain as they attempted to undress each other.
As Eve’s shirt went over her head, the backs of her legs hit the bed, sending her falling into the mattress with a tiny, surprised gasp; that gasp soon turned into a shy smile when Jamie joined her, grinning mischievously as he straddled her.
He threw her Henley to the floor and began to fervently kiss her neck, giving her velvety skin a series of long, slow licks that made her shiver, and he smiled.
His tongue explored the curves of her collarbone and worked his way down, past her bra to her torso, where he could lick through the ripples of her taut stomach as he unbuttoned her jeans.
“Kiss me again,” Eve whispered, needing a few more minutes to adjust to the idea of being naked.
Plus, she liked the way he kissed. He was tender and good with his tongue, letting it dance with hers instead of the typical wrestle.
As he indulged her request, she ran her fingers through his curls, so soft they felt like feathers in her hand.
She began to unbutton his shirt, feeling more butterflies when her fingers found his skin, the hardness of his stomach surprising her.
She whimpered when he broke their kiss, and then she licked her lips as his tanned skin and broad, muscled shoulders came into view.
She watched him like a movie as he pulled his arms from the sleeves, the veins of his forearms leaving her squirming.
She wanted to lick every inch of him. She imagined him tasting like that banana pudding ice cream she’d become such a fan of.
“You okay?” he asked.
Eve nodded. She wiggled her feet, still clad in her Timbs. “Take off my shoes?”
Jamie did so with a smile, hopping off the bed to kick off his own boots as he untied hers. “I should probably mention that I haven’t done this in a while,” he said, just as her shoes made two big thuds hitting the wood floor.
She wanted to say that she hadn’t, either, but decided against it. She was about to share more than enough with him for one night.
Eve felt disarmed by the way Jamie stared at her body. Did he notice the stretch marks, all the scars she’d always obsessed over? Evidence of her past, with no baby to show for it. She wasn’t even naked yet, but he made her feel like she was. Constantly.
“Take off your pants,” she said.