Chapter 36 The Bottom
The Bottom
Jamie
Casey Gallagher: Dude. I ask for pics of my nephew and you ignore me? Unbelievably rude.
Casey Gallagher: Also btw, mom has officially moved back in with dad. Hilarious. But I lowkey hope they make it? They’re kinda cute, as it turns out.
Jamie awoke to the din of some relentless buzz, sending him shooting up from his couch in a stupor.
With his head pounding, he wasn’t quite sure the sound was even real until he recognized it as his doorbell, and he cursed the unexpected visitor.
He padded slowly toward his security system, seeing Lucy and Jack waiting to be let up.
“What the hell?” he mumbled to himself; still, he let them in without comment.
He moved as fast as he could to clean up the mess of takeout containers and whiskey sitting on his coffee table, his son running into the apartment just as the clink of empty bottles hit the bottom of the garbage can.
He was wholly unprepared to see Jack, or anyone else for that matter, but he plastered on a smile as the kid beelined toward him for a hug.
“Hey, you,” Jamie greeted him, rubbing his back. “What are you doin’ here, bud?”
“I live here,” Jack said. He casually pulled off his backpack as they separated, throwing it on the breakfast table. “Is Eve here?”
Jamie’s head started pounding even harder with the reminder that he’d have to explain himself to his son. Why the woman he’d suddenly brought into their lives was gone just as quickly. “Where’s your mom?” he asked instead.
“She’s coming,” Jack said. “I think she’s not feeling good.”
“I’m feeling fine,” Lucy called from the living room, though her tone said exactly the opposite. Once they were all in the same room, she appended, “Jack, do me a favor and go upstairs, sweetie.”
Jamie tried to ready himself for the argument undoubtedly on its way, and he was sorely tempted to take another shot just to dull the aggravation that would come with it.
As Jack scurried off, he regarded Lucy, noticing her protruding belly, which seemed to have doubled in size since the last time he saw her nearly three weeks ago.
It felt like another punch in the gut. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Despite my best efforts, you do have physical custody of our son, so…I’m bringing him back, per our arrangement.”
“But why today? You bring him back on Sunday, not Friday.”
“You said I could have him for a week. Friday to Friday is a week.”
Jamie sighed at the avoidable miscommunication. But then, he hadn’t been very good at communicating as of late. “I can’t have him right now,” he said, plopping himself into the nearest chair.
“Are you sick?” she asked. “Is that why you locked me out of your apartment?”
“Lucy…”
“I didn’t come to fight,” she retorted.
“Good, because I don’t have the energy to,” Jamie said. He set down his metaphorical knife and surrendered his bad attitude. “I changed the code to my apartment because it’s my apartment,” he said. “I realized I can’t just have you walking in here whenever you want.”
“Is this about Eve?” Lucy asked. “Because I’m glad you’re happy and all, but I’m not sure it’s fair of you to rearrange our lives just for her.”
Jamie rubbed his head, debating whether to be honest about Eve or tell Lucy to mind her fucking business. “It has nothing to do with her. It’s about me, deserving privacy. I can’t move on with my life if I keep letting you waltz into it whenever you feel like it.”
Lucy also yielded, taking a tentative seat beside him. Ordinarily, she would’ve broken into a much longer protest, but it seemed that she really didn’t want to argue. Jack was probably right that she wasn’t feeling well. “I have something to ask you,” she said.
“What is it?”
She looked nervous, which worried Jamie, his head thumping harder as he awaited her words. “We…found a house. I think.”
He squinted at her choice of phrase. “You think ?”
“It’s not my favorite of the ones we’ve seen, but it’s nice enough. Outside needs work. But it’s got all new renovations inside, space for Jack and for this one,” she said, stroking her belly, “and a good-sized backyard.”
“And where is it?”
Lucy pinched her lips defiantly before answering. “Antioch.”
Jamie chuckled at her reaction, spitting the word like it had ants in it. “Well, what’s wrong with that?”
“It’s thirty minutes from here. And from the school. And that’s without traffic.”
Jamie was already looking forward to putting some space between them. He deserved it and she needed it, apparently, even if only to get used to the idea of no longer relying on him. “It’s not the end of the world,” he said. “It just means planning better. Fewer impromptu visits, maybe.”
“I’m sure you’d love that.”
Jamie released a long breath, his impatience running neck and neck with his curiosity at that point. “So what does this have to do with me? Don’t tell me you need more time in the house.”
“I need a loan,” she said, her copper eyes flitting to the floor as she bit her bottom lip.
She sat back in her seat and cradled her belly, leaving Jamie wondering if the reminder she was with child was meant to evoke sympathy or something like it.
She knew full well that he was going to do it, simply because he had the means, and he would never let Jack’s mother languish.
But he thought of Casey, and his mother, and even Eve, and he felt inclined to say no.
How long was he supposed to take care of her?
How long would he have to be the bigger person?
His stomach churned as his thoughts of Eve turned sour, still unsure, three weeks later, whether he’d made the right choice.
“Don’t banks give out loans?” Jamie asked.
“For the down payment,” she said. “We’ve got about fifteen thousand saved. Another fifteen would be a godsend right now. Especially with the baby coming.”
“You don’t have to keep reminding me that you’re pregnant, Lucy. I have eyes. I have a heart. I know why you’re asking.”
“I feel lousy even asking, but I know—”
“You know I’d do anything for Jack, so why not take advantage?”
“Whoa,” she said, clearly taken aback by his terseness. “If you don’t want to, you can just say no. I don’t need the shitty insults attached.”
“Yeah well…” Jamie sniffled several times as he scratched the hair at his nape. “I guess I’m in a shitty mood.”
Lucy frowned. “What is wrong with you?”
“There is nothing wrong with me,” he said. “I just wish you didn’t look at me like a cash machine.”
“It’s a loan, Jamie. I’m trying to get out of your house, like you asked. I got a job at Nashville General, so I can pay you back regularly. We just need some help.”
It was tactless, but Jamie did inwardly question whether she had actually gotten a job.
She’d stopped working when Jack was born and hadn’t really looked back.
“I don’t have the energy for this,” he mumbled, holding his hammering forehead with both hands.
“Can you take Jack and just…go? Let me think about it.”
“Are you sick?” she asked again. He could feel her hand on his back as she asked, “Did something else happen with your dad?”
“No. I just drank too much.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound like you. What happened?”
“What happened?” he sighed again. His eyes felt so heavy, he wasn’t sure they were open. “That’s a loaded question.”
“Is it?”
“What happened is…I have no idea how to be happy. Because you cheated on me, Lucy, and it fucked me up so much, I don’t even trust what’s in front of me.
” He looked at her, waiting for her expression to change.
He knew her concerned act would last only so long as she felt superior to him.
“I hate that you get everything you want.”
She let her hand fall from his back. “You’re a mean drunk.”
“Please take Jack home,” he pled. “I can’t be around him like this.”
“This isn’t how I wanted things, Jamie.” Her voice was so low, he could barely hear her over the pulsating. “I can’t take it back. It’s unfair that you’re bearing the brunt of it. But I am sorry.”
He didn’t respond.
“When you stop feeling sorry for yourself, I hope you remember that you’re the one who won.
You have the money, you have all the power.
I need your permission to have our son for longer than two days.
Here I am begging you to help me buy a house.
So no, I didn’t get everything I want. I am paying for my sins.
At a certain point, whatever’s wrong with your life is on you. ”
Jamie nodded. “Which is why I changed the code.”
“Fair enough,” she said with a small, woeful chuckle. She carefully pulled herself up from the table and started toward the staircase. But first, she turned back to gaze at him. “Will you really think about it?”
They both knew he was going to give her the money, so there was no point in the charade. Noblesse oblige, as the French would say. “Please let this be the last favor you ask of me.”
—
Sitting in his truck in the cold, Jamie stared at his text message thread with Eve, reliving the agony of watching her texts go from apologetic to apoplectic, all while he ignored her, having convinced himself he couldn’t respond for his own good.
He replied with something stupidly dismissive, just to make it stop, and he’d spent the last week trying, failing, not to regret it.
But in fact, it was rather tragic to see their whirlwind romance draw to a close like that, not with a bang but a whimper of misery.
It was probably in their best interests to go their separate ways, but Eve didn’t deserve that.
So, he sat there repeatedly typing and erasing messages, unable to find a simple, sincere set of words to convey what he needed to say.