7. Alira
Alira
Kalel freezes, brows pulled low with disbelief, and his grip tightens on his horse’s reins.
My heart races, unable to tear my eyes away from the parted gates.
They’ve opened a fraction, maybe a quarter of the way, before stopping completely.
Part of me thinks that some terrible creature will come running out, or that Pluto himself may appear.
But nothing happens. The enormous wooden door remains only partly cracked, as if beckoning us to come closer and enter Mortem.
“Kalel, what do we do? Has this happened before?” Nikolai says, his voice trembling. He won’t look away from the gates. I don’t blame him; I don’t trust them either. Not after all the horrifying stories he and Tessa filled my head with.
Kalel blinks and takes a few deep breaths, holding them.
His golden eyes, full of fear, snap to Nik and then to me.
“No, this has never happened. We need to return to Devicit immediately and report back to King Achill.” Kalel pulls on the reins and his horse whinnies, turning sharply before breaking into a run.
Mine follows its lead, and I barely react quickly enough by grabbing onto the hilt of the saddle.
Tessa curses and follows at the rear with Nikolai beside her. He keeps stealing glances back at the gates like he doesn’t believe his own two eyes.
Why would the gates open? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kalel this frightened before. His body looks stiff as he rides ahead, and the quick pace we are going at only makes me more concerned.
“What does this mean?” I shout over the wailing wind.
Kalel’s red cloak whips behind him furiously. He glances at me. “It means death is coming… A lot of it.” He returns his gaze straight ahead, eyes sweeping the highlands, searching for the way we came in.
A sinking sensation fills my stomach as I look up. Thick clouds have formed, hugging the ground and making the air dense with moisture.
I try not to entertain the thought that we might be lost or that the sun will be setting very shortly.
My stomach twists with dread. “Death? That can’t be. We ended the war.” Vivid imagery of the battle I fought for twenty time loops and all the death that followed grips my heart tightly.
Kalel’s teeth are gnashed and his features betray his guilt. He knows something about why the gates are open. And I would bet that it’s why he’s been so stressed and why Tessa was acting weird when she was my guard.
I knew it.
“We ended the war, didn’t we?” I ask, holding my breath as he finally looks at me.
“I will explain when we get back to the palace, but for now we need to get across the bridge before dusk.” His eyes trace the darkening sky. With all the clouds, there’s no telling when dusk is, but it’s very close.
I open my mouth to grill him until he answers my question, but Nikolai and Tessa pick up their pace until they’re riding beside us.
“Please don’t tell me we’re fucking lost,” Nikolai says with a wavering tone.
Tessa’s brows pinch together with worry, but she stays silent, focused.
Kalel doesn’t say anything. He continues in the direction opposite the gates.
“That’s reassuring. Gods. Alira, stay close to us. This storm is only getting thicker the farther we go.” Nikolai’s voice is low with distrust for what might be lingering in the snow and fog. He guides his horse closer to mine, and I’m glad for it.
My hands are clasped tightly around my mare’s reins. I keep my eyes peeled over the gray fields we traverse that seem to go on and on forever each way.
The only thing that could bring so much death would be a war…
or a natural disaster, perhaps. I swallow the knot in my throat and try to remain calm.
The moisture from the fog collects beads of water on my forehead and makes the clothes beneath my armor feel wet.
I shudder, whether from the cold or from fear, I’m not sure.
If our marriage did not end the war, then what was the point of this?
Why am I here? What was the point of any of my sacrifices?
There is no way I could fight the demons, not after learning that they are not truly monsters.
But if I do not fight them, will I be forced into combat alongside them against Alzhor?
I can’t.
Drops of water trickle down my brow and I start to feel sick. Please, gods, don’t let this happen. Please let there be another way.
A flash of blue cuts across the storm, and the dim snow-flurried fields catch my eye.
A wisp? Here of all places…
The last time I saw a wisp was after the wolf attack and the bonfire to pay tribute to the dead. Why has another one come?
I pull on the reins, and my horse swiftly stops and turns in the direction I’m pulling. I don’t even think; my body just reacts on its own. I need to see what it wants to show me.
Kalel doesn’t notice right away, but Nikolai does. My horse nearly runs right into his, but it reacts quickly and evades them.
“Wait!” Nikolai calls out. His horse is just a few feet behind mine as he follows me.
Kalel loses us in the storm. Fear wracks my body for what trouble I might get into for breaking away from the group, but I can’t let this wisp go. I need answers, and no one is talking.
My husband’s voice tears through the fog. “Alira! Where are you?”
I grit my teeth as I stare ahead toward the ball of light— a will-o’-the-wisp—that is trying to guide me away from the others. My heart pounds in my chest. I know we don’t have time—we need to get to the bridge before nightfall. There’s maybe only a handful of minutes before the sun sets.
But the gods have been silent for too long.
I need to know.
Nikolai manages to get beside me. The wisp won’t stop until we reach its destination. “Alira, we don’t have time to chase a wisp. We need to leave this island now!” he begs. His fawn hair looks darker now that it’s wet from the snow; strands cling to his forehead and water flicks from the back.
“Then tell me what you’ve been keeping from me,” I shout back, letting my eyes focus back onto the wisp. Fuck, why did I say that? The last thing I need is Nikolai to turn on me.
Nikolai is quiet. I know he’s probably scrambling for words, but he won’t find them in time.
I turn and look over my shoulder, hearing more hooves coming for us. Kalel. He finally gets close enough for me to see him. He locks eyes with me, and his expression falls as he looks past us at the wisp. “Alira, no! We need to get to the bridge!” His voice echoes across the land.
My gut tells me to follow the wisp. Even if I get reprimanded for it.
I bite my lower lip, knowing I’ll regret this later, and yet I urge my horse forward after the light. It moves quickly over the snow, stopping abruptly and disappearing behind something white that blends in perfectly with the landscape.
My chest lurches. Where did it go?
Something spooks my horse, and I’m thrown from its back as it rears and whinnies.
I roll to the side to evade the creature’s frantic kicks.
Snow goes down my neck and burns my cheeks as I watch my horse take off toward the bridge.
Nikolai’s horse panics from the confusion and follows my mare.
I’m guessing my friend thinks I’m still on its back because he doesn’t shout after me.
Oh gods.
I quickly sit up and search for the wisp, but it’s nowhere in sight. I push myself up to my feet and stumble toward where it disappeared. What scared my horse?
There’s something out here, but it blends in so well with the snow and fog that I can’t make it out. I approach carefully, and once I’m about an arm’s length away, I reach out tentatively. My gloved hand meets fur; it’s thick, but not enough for it to be a wolf or bear.
A small gasp escapes me, and I take a few steps back. The creature slowly turns and looks at me. Antlers that are so black they look like charcoal and white fur that makes the animal appear magical in some sense. As if the gods have blessed it as a holy beast to walk the island of Mortem.
It’s a white stag. Legs long and dainty, neck thick with muscles and eyes that are two dark coals. It feels as though they look right through me, seeing both all and nothing.
My eyes widen. This must be a manifestation of the wisp. If they can show us visions of the past or present, it’s not a stretch to assume they can take mystical forms as well. I lift my hand to touch its nose, but it jolts at a loud, piercing shout.
“Alira!”
It’s Kalel, and he’s close.
The stag blows out a hot breath from its nostrils and shakes its head before it leaps away. I chase after it, not sure whether I am already in the vision or not. Why is it leading me so far away? There has to be more—
The stag vanishes before my eyes, and my next step doesn’t land on rock or dirt. I step right off the ledge of the shoreside cliff.
A horrified scream tears from my lungs as cold air prickles at my skin and I watch the rocky shore below get closer and closer. I shut my eyes and brace for the impact, but it does not come.
For a moment, I think I’m in the vision that the wisps use to guide us, but I can still hear Kalel shouting from far above.
I open my eyes and blink a few times at the soft fur I landed on.
Now I’m certain the creature is not real; it’s not hurt even a little and it feels like there are no bones in its body from where I landed.
I was expecting to land in the ocean but it must be low tide, because we’re surrounded by damp rock and mussels clinging to rock.
The stag nudges me to my feet and stands once I’m off it. I stare with awe.
“What are you?” I whisper as a small, careful smile plays at my lips, running my fingers down its snout. The fall has my heart racing, but I am not afraid of the wisp. They’re harmless, only messengers to those who will follow.
It dips its head and slowly blinks at me as if I should know what it’s trying to tell me. A small bluish light sparkles in its eyes.