19. Alira #2
Kalel nods hopefully at my words.
If there were tiers in Mortem based on sins, then Kalel and I would be on the worst one. We’ve taken countless lives and have done things far worse than many others.
“True. It’s easy to believe, what with how frightening the island above is to get here,” he jests, and it makes me smile.
There’s a sweet scent in the air that reminds me of honeysuckles. My shoulders don’t feel as heavy as they did a few minutes ago.
“I guess we keep moving forward. We should check out the village down there.”
Kalel follows my gaze and nods. “Any idea how much time has passed?” he asks as we set off, walking through the valley.
“No. It’s weird, like a dream almost. Ten hours may have passed, or maybe days. Maybe a matter of minutes. I feel…timeless almost.” I stare down at my hands and notice that they aren’t stained in gold and black blood.
I’m wearing a plain white dress that almost glows in this blue-hued world.
For the first time in a long time, I just feel like me.
No fancy dresses, no armor, nothing to uphold for the sake of my kingdom.
It’s as if this place steals your anger and sorrow.
Your past and future. It feeds on it like a meal and leaves the host numb. Content.
“Yeah, that’s how I feel too. I don’t know how much time we spent in the void. But each moment down here is precious. We need to get back to Devicit to…” Kalel trails off and stops walking, looking down at me with a strange expression.
“To kill all the demigods?” I finish his sentence for him. Anger doesn’t spill into my bones. It’s an honest question.
His brows knit and he shakes his head. “No. But I can’t let them destroy Devicit either, Alira.” His voice is gentle and ebbs at my heart.
“Maybe we will find the answer down here? We must be here for a reason.” I ponder the thought, and then it hits me. “Everyone except the gods end up in Mortem. So we should be able to find the elders of each of our kingdoms. Maybe they can give us guidance.”
Kalel shoots me an unconvinced look as we continue heading toward the village. “What makes you think they will want peace for the living? I doubt they ever achieved it in their time. Just look at us now.”
“We can try.”
He firms his lips and gives me a short nod. His eyes are dull and unfocused. It’s been a long time since he’s had any blood.
Does he still need to feed even though we’re in Mortem?
Kalel’s stomach lets out a loud growl, and he clutches at it, cheeks reddening. He must see the worry burning in my eyes because he grunts, “I’m fine.” He clears his throat and walks steadily ahead.
My brows knit and I cross my arms, a little annoyed that I was worried in the first place. “Good, because I wasn’t offering.” I turn my face the other direction and barely catch his surprised breath at my comment.
“No need to assume that I was asking,” he retorts, sounding more sarcastic than I’ve ever heard him.
For some reason, that irritates the hell out of me. I can’t keep my eyes from shifting toward him. His gaze meets mine, and I realize that he’s trying to push my buttons on purpose. A wry grin is tugging at the corners of his lips, and he chuckles.
“You’re always so quick to fight, little godling.” His smile is genuine and so entrancing that I lose my train of thought for a moment. It’s nice to see him smiling without the burdens of our lives.
“It’s not so hard when it’s you,” I tease and give him a small shove.
He trips on a clump of tangled grass and goes down for the count. Popping his head back up and glaring at me with a playful smile. “Oh, now you’ve done it.”
I let out a scream as he quickly rises to his feet and chases me down in the field.
His arms wrap around my midsection, and we tumble into the grass together.
Laughter bubbles up from my chest, and Kalel’s chuckling as he looks up at me.
I’m lying on his chest and trying to sit back up, but he keeps his hold tightly around my waist. I take him in, his mussed hair and blades of grass stuck in his shirt.
The scent of sweetness in the air and the warmth of this place melt the ice around my heart.
His amber eyes widen as he realizes how close we are, but he doesn’t pull away. Neither do I. We stare at one another, my hands pressed against his chest and heart beating at an irregular pace.
Kalel lifts his hand to my face and plucks a strand of grass from my hair as he whispers, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like this before.
” His gaze is both awed and filled with melancholy.
“How I wish I could go back and spend my time with you differently. How I long to change the man I am, and be the one who makes you laugh like this. Forever and ever.”
He traces my features delicately, smoothing his thumb over my bottom lip like he craves to taste one more kiss.
“We can’t go back…but maybe it’s not too late,” I murmur, leaning down and threading my fingers through his. His pupils dilate with my closeness. “We don’t have to be what they made us.”
Kalel stares at me, eyes narrowing as he nods. “If we make it back and put an end to all of this. I’m done being a knight, a duke, the Blood Knight. I want to be…me. I’m not a violent man, I don’t want to hurt anything else for as long as I live.”
A smile crests my lips. “Me neither.”
I take a deep breath and move off him. He follows the motion and sits up beside me. We sit in the tall grass, looking over this small sliver of Mortem and the village in the distance.
Kalel breaks the silence between us first. “Everything I did to wrong you was before we knew each other, little godling. It was before I realized who you were to me.”
When I don’t reply right away, he turns his head and looks at me.
I pick at some grass around my feet, a habit I thought I grew out of a long time ago. But I can’t remember the last time I sat in a field with someone and felt this good.
“The curse was before you knew who it was, but you could have told me after you found out. If you had told me in the room right when we met, all of this would have been different.” I catch myself.
“Well…maybe not. Maybe if you told me about the gardens, though. How many of the demigods buried in your garden were put there by your hand? How many of them suffered at the end of your blade?” I lift my hands and stare at them. Wondering how many demons I’ve slain.
“Too many.”
I jolt, looking at him in shock because I didn’t expect him to admit it.
“Too many… I regret every one of them. There’s not one night that I sleep peacefully. And now that I know I was never even meant to live past that night my uncles died…I wonder how much life I’ve taken in return to balance out my existence.”
An ache grows in my chest. Venus said that he was never meant to grow up. The devourer’s bloodline would’ve ended with him that night. I can’t imagine what that must feel like.
I set my hand on top of his.
“None of this is fair…but I will selfishly admit that I’m happy you are here, Kalel. I cannot imagine a world that does not have you in it.”
He looks at me with a surprised expression for a few seconds before offering a small smile.
“Together, then, wife?” He clears his throat of emotion and stands, extending his hand down to me.
A wide smile spreads across my face, and I take his hand and he pulls me up.
“Together, husband.”
It doesn’t take long for us to reach the village. At least, I don’t think so, time here is much different than it is anywhere else. Almost like a sluggish dreamlike state.
The village is quaint and has a familiarity to it that sends chills up my spine. It looks just like Thornhall except there’s not just demons here; there are demigods and humans as well, all mingling and coexisting together.
The village is made up of small cottage-type homes, worn three-foot fences, and a Main Street that has a chapel and shops lining the road. If I didn’t already know that I was in Mortem, I’m not sure I would know where I was.
Everything seems so normal here. As if we have stumbled upon a mapless place.
A small creek runs through the entrance of the village where a group of children play. Kalel stops when we get close enough to them and gives me a strange look. I return it. The children who are playing are all mixed species. It’s unheard of in Faultore.
For the humans fear the demons and demigods. And the demigods fear the demons and likewise.
“Hello, little ones,” Kalel says as he squats down to their level to appear more harmless.
“My love and I are lost. Do you think you could tell us where we are?” he asks softly.
There are five of them, and they all turn around at once, smiles and no fear in their eyes.
It doesn’t seem uncommon for strangers to come through town.
“Hi,” one of the small human girls says. She has big brown eyes and dark hair that runs halfway down her back. She’s dressed in a beautiful dark-blue dress that contrasts with the frosted setting. She looks at both of us thoughtfully and then giggles.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, smiling because I’ve never spoken with a human before. They seem easily entertained.
“It’s funny because you’re not lost. Everyone passes through here,” she says it so simply that it’s hard to take it any other way than just as a fact. This is just how it is here.
Kalel looks back at me, and I give him the same concerned expression. If everyone passes through here, how do we know whether we are actually able to return above?
“Ah, I see. Are any of your parents around that we may speak with?” Kalel looks at all of them, welcoming any response.
They all shake their heads.
A little boy answers next. He has two small blue horns on each side of his forehead and scales that wrap around his hairline just like Tessa’s. “I don’t think they’ve come through yet. We’ve been waiting for a while.”
That makes my heart sink. That means they died before their parents, and they’re just stuck here waiting. Do they even know they are dead?