22. Alira #2
I smile at him as he gets up and walks to the kitchen, opening the cupboards and looking for cups. He pauses and looks at me with familiarity in his eyes. “Does this cottage remind you of somewhere we’ve been before?” he asks, brows quirked.
“I thought the same thing.” I look around and take in the cottage again as if I’m walking into it for the first time.
I was so cold that day, and instead of cruelness, Kalel brought me here to warm me up before we continued our day of travel.
The memory warms my chest. “Doesn’t it remind you of the house we stopped at on our way to Devicit? ”
His eyes widen, and he nods. “How strange that it would end up here,” he murmurs as he finishes preparing the tea and setting the kettle on the stove.
My smile fades, and I stare at the ember slowly cooling in the fire. I consider whether or not another log should be added. “I think all abandoned things end up here, one way or another.”
Kalel makes his way back over to me and takes both of my hands into his.
“We could stay, you know,” he says, as if he’s proposing we commit a crime.
It would be selfish, knowing that we’re the only ones who can stop our kingdoms from tearing each other apart, and our friends facing untimely doom.
Why do we have to sacrifice our happiness for everything, for everyone except ourselves?
“I can be talked into staying for a little while now that I’m not alone anymore,” I say softly, my eyes locked onto his lips as he leans in closer. His knees are on the floor, and he’s leaning in, spreading my legs, and bringing his lips to mine.
He kisses me, and his lips are softer than I ever remembered them being. I melt into his arms, desperate for every touch. He smooths his hand down my back and the other up my neck, cupping my cheek and deepening our kiss.
“My little godling. I thought I lost you forever. I’ve dreamed of this moment since the first step I took to finding you. Even as I crossed sunless deserts and moonless ice. I have never stopped looking for you in Mortem.” My heart dips at his words.
Kalel strokes his tongue up my neck and bites into my gilded vein. I let out a small cry.
“I tried to find a way out of here. I tried to look for you, but no matter how long I walked, I only ended up back here. There are so many things I regret. I wish I had listened and heard you out. I know that your heart is not dark anymore. I shouldn’t have let my fear win.” My voice is trembling.
Kalel takes a few more sips of my blood before he withdraws his teeth and swipes my neck again with his tongue.
“I shouldn’t have let my fear win. I was so consumed with what you would do once you found out I’d been lying.
Once you found out what I really was and what I’ve done to you.
I thought I hated you when I first met you, but the more I got to know you, the more I realized it wasn’t you that I hated.
I hated myself. Because you showed me that not all demigods are bad. ”
“And you showed me that not all demons are bad.”
The teakettle starts to whistle just as Kalel starts kissing down my chest. He glances up at me with his amber eyes, and it melts my heart.
“Let’s have tea. As much as I want to ravish you, I want to hear your voice and thoughts for as long as you’ll allow, Alira.” He dots my forehead with a kiss and gets up to grab the tea.
I pull a blanket up around my shoulders and smile. I haven’t felt this happy in a long, long time.
He sits next to me on the couch so that our feet are tucked up and facing one another. I accept the mug he extends to me and take a few sips, shutting my eyes and humming at the sweetness the honey brings.
I hold the mug to my lips and glance up at him from over the rim. “Did you get to speak with your mother?”
The guilt that burned and ebbed inside me for so long over her death has faded into a dull throb that seems like it will never truly fade. But seeing Kalel only makes the sting fresher.
This time, when I bring her up, instead of sadness that drowns him, his eyes are filled with warmth and peace.
“Yes. We had a nice, long conversation. It was almost like we’d only been apart for a short time… I told her about everything that’s happened in the world above since her death. About the wars, the curse…you.” Kalel stares at me, clutching the mug as if it’s a lifeline.
The way that I ran away from her and the remorse I had still sit with me. Yet another thing I dwell on. Why can’t we seem to let things rest?
“I’m sorry I left… I couldn’t bring myself to face her. If I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have gotten lost.” I take another small sip of the tea before setting it down on the side table. I draw my legs up to my chest and lean against the back of the couch.
Kalel regards me with a forlorn and distant look passing over his gaze.
“Fate is cruel, but we seem to be served what we need. I found you, didn’t I?
I couldn’t count how long it had been since you vanished, but during that time, I truly feel like I’ve changed.
In here.” He presses his hand to his heart.
“My mother said a lot of things that made me revisit our faults. I wish I could’ve changed so many things, Alira.
But if all our suffering brings us together, then it will have all been worth it. ”
He sets down his tea and moves closer to me on the couch until he’s setting his chin on my knees and gazing into my eyes.
“I don’t want to suffer anymore,” I murmur, as if it is a sin to be so weary.
He studies me and draws circles on top of my knee. “Then we stay here. This cottage will be our home, and I will love you until Mortem has faced its own peril.” He cracks a grin.
I smile at the image of that warm, quiet life. “You know we can’t do that. It’s already been a week… You said you weren’t sure how long you were searching.” I brush a strand of his onyx hair from his face. “We’ve been dead for a week down here already. Only a little over two minutes in Faultore.”
His eyes widen. “It felt much longer than that.” I smile at his humor. This isn’t the stressed-out and uptight demon I’ve grown to know. I like this side of him. I wonder if there’s a part of me that he’s discovering too. “Really, though? Only two minutes above?” He hums in thought.
I nod. “Do you think they’ve found our bodies by now?” My stomach reels at the idea of it. I wonder if we are staring into each other’s eyes as we are now.
Korin. Nikolai and Tessa. I hope they are all okay.
I felt betrayed by Tessa when she turned me over to the king. But everything seems so much clearer after time has passed. All the anger has melted from my bones and slipped away. She was trying to protect what she thought was right. We are all guilty of that.
Kalel closes his eyes, putting an ache in my chest. I killed him. That violent part of me is like a rot that spreads into the deepest parts of my soul. I make a promise to myself that I will never lift my sword or harm him again.
“Probably not.” Kalel lets his fingers brush against my lower lip. Drawing a blush across my cheeks. “Two minutes isn’t very long. I wonder if we could at least manage another two or three minutes before returning.” His smile is tilted, making me blush and fall for him even more.
“I don’t see why not,” I murmur against his lips.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he says as he scoops me up and takes me to my bed.
I pause and set my hand on his chest. He gives me a curious look.
“In front of the fireplace,” I whisper. My lips curl meekly, and his eyes flash with surprise before they narrow with lust.
“Have you been thinking about me, little godling?” He slides his hand up my thigh and presses his fingers against my center.
My cheeks flush, and I take a shallow breath.
“Have you been thinking about my knot and how ruthless our first time back together would be? A week is a long time for us.” His voice is hoarse, sending heat to my stomach.
“Yes,” I whisper against the shell of his ear, and he groans, pushing his lips into my shoulder like he wants to bite me again.
He pulls back and nods to the fireplace. “Let’s bring the blankets there, then. I’m not above having my wife on the floor. Who am I to deny you anything?” he says playfully.
I laugh as I settle in front of the fire. Thinking of the first time we were here, back outside of Alzhor. It was so cold that he covered me in a blanket—
Kalel drapes the blanket over my shoulders and wraps his arms around me.
I flinch in surprise and look up at him.
He drops his head onto my shoulder and says gently, “I wanted you so badly that first day. Your heat was unbearable to deny. I wanted to do unspeakable things that no demon and demigod should ever partake in.”
“Show me,” I murmur, slipping from the blanket and shedding my robe with it. The warm glow of the embers is our only light. But I can see his eyes flicker with fervor at the sight of me. “Show me the unspeakable things you’ve thought of.”
He doesn’t even smile at me. He closes the gap between us as if his next breath hinges on our kiss. His lips meet mine, and he slowly works out of his clothes as our tongues dance and our hands explore one another like it’s the first time we’ve properly met.
And perhaps it is.
Under no false pretenses and promises of forgotten pasts.
“I would search for you until the end of time if I had to.” He kisses my collarbone and lowers me onto my back. The sheets engulf us as he slowly makes his way down my chest and stomach, kissing and touching every groove of my skin and divot of my bones.