Chapter Twenty-Nine
LET ME LOVE YOU
CAGE
I knocked on her door.
No answer.
I knocked again.
“I’m up to my ears in puke, let yourself in!”
A grimace plastered itself to my face before I even opened the door. It was wrong, so very wrong that I got hard instantly when her tiny, short-clad ass welcomed me, wiggling side to side as she scrubbed the floor on her hands and knees.
“Hey.” I bit my tongue before “How ya doing?” came out. “Where’s Shay?”
“Tub. Oatmeal bath slash vomit rinse off.” She tossed the sponge and wad of paper towels into the bucket and stood, sweaty hair matted to her face. Even then, with blue kitchen gloves up to her elbows and her soiled shirt clinging to her chest, I wanted to grab her and kiss the life out of her.
“Anything I can do? Feed Trzy? Clean her litter box?”
Lake sighed. “Funny, but no. I’m going to get her out of the tub, cover her with Flint’s anti-itch salve, and put her to bed.
” She set the bucket on the counter and peeled off her gloves.
After brushing past me toward the bathroom, she stopped and retreated a few steps.
“Hi.” A tiny smile graced her face, and she fisted my shirt and pulled me to her lips for a kiss.
“Hi.” I grinned.
“Take a load off. You look tired.” She continued toward the bathroom.
A few minutes later Shayna shuffled out in her jammies and wet hair then sat on the couch.
“Hey, pumpkin. Not feeling well, huh?”
She frowned and shook her head.
“I’ll be out in a minute. I’m going to put some towels over the sheets so the oily salve doesn’t stain them.”
“We’re good.” I smiled at Shayna. “Did Everson come see you?”
She shook her head. “He called.”
The guy was a pussy to not at least peek in on her to say hi.
“I staying with Lake. Jamie go home with his testicles.”
I gave her words a few seconds to sink in, because there was no way I heard her right.
“What did you say?”
“I staying with Lake. Jamie go home with his testicles. Lake said …” she scratched along her ribs, a slight grimace on her face.
“Lake said?”
She shrugged. “His penis and testicles … I thinks she er … they’re friends cause …” Her brow furrowed like she was searching for the right words. “ ’Cause she hates football. But I like football.”
“Okay, sweetie, let’s get you in bed.” Lake smiled at Shayna. “How’s Flint’s itchy stuff working?”
Shayna shrugged. “Itchy.” She scratched again. “A little.”
“Give it a bit and I bet you’ll feel better. It was nice of Flint to make it for you. Too bad you were asleep, you could have told him thank you.”
“I see him. I see you hug and kiss him before he go.” Her gaze shifted to me.
Mine was rigid. I couldn’t stop my jaw from grinding the hell out of my teeth. All I could see was red and the panic in Lake’s face confirmed it.
“Nigh nigh.” Shayna gave me a sad smile before shuffling toward the bedroom.
Lake held up a finger. “Wait here and don’t overreact.” After a short stare-off like she wanted to ensure I wasn’t going to leave, Lake turned and followed Shayna.
Someone was going to die. That’s all that went through my head.
“What the fuck, Lake?” I tried to keep my voice low and calm, but it was nearly impossible.
“It’s not what you think.” She moved closer and touched my arm.
I jerked away. It’s not how I meant to react, but I did it anyway and regretted it the moment I saw the shock …
the pain on her face. I hated that part of myself.
It reminded me of my father, and as much as I loved him, I didn’t want to be him.
He destroyed my mother. At least he had an excuse.
I had no fucking excuse, but I also had no control.
“I don’t know what to think since in the last five minutes I’ve been informed that you’re ‘friends with Jamie’s penis and testicles.’”
She flinched as her face contorted, but not in shock … in guilt.
“And that you “hate football,” and for the win … you kissed Flint!”
She held a finger over her lips to hush me. I had too damn much anger simmering inside to be hushed. I was going to let the Jamie thing go and write it off as a six-year-old misunderstanding, but after the Flint revelation, I just couldn’t.
“I’m exhausted. Shayna has thrown up three times today, and Trzy had attempted to eat it three times and later made her own vomit mess for me to clean up.
When Shayna wasn’t vomiting, she wanted me to cuddle with her and her body temperature is like two hundred degrees and now I’m a sticky, yucky, mess in desperate need of a shower.
So I’m simply going to tell you what happened and then we’re not going to talk about it anymore. ”
I didn’t move. All I could do was glare at her, my jaw set.
She released a long breath. “I made a snarky comment to Jamie saying I hoped he ended up with chicken pox on his t-e-s-t-i-c-l-e-s, not realizing how well Shayna could spell. She asked about them then asked if they were like a penis, so I said yes, they were friends. End of story. As for the Flint thing…” closing her eyes for a moment she shook her head “…he not only brought me groceries, but he brought all this stuff for Shayna that he didn’t have to bring her.
Flint has done a lot for me, and before he left I gave him a ‘friendly’ hug and quick peck on the cheek. ”
Jealousy. Worst fucking feeling ever.
“I’ve had a long day too … I’m going home before I say something I might regret.”
LAKE
Leaving. That was his response? To leave? Everything was so innocent and meant nothing. How could he not see that?
“Really? After yesterday, you honestly think I’m interested in some other guy?”
“I don’t know what to think, it’s just …” He pressed the heels of his hand to his temples and rubbed them. “Do you kiss the package delivery guy? If some guy holds open a door for you or picks up something you dropped, do you kiss him?”
“Not fair. Flint’s different.”
His face hardened again. “Flint’s my employee.”
“Flint’s your friend.”
His eyes narrowed, chin jutting forward. “All the more reason to keep your fucking lips off him.”
That was a nice jab. I didn’t have the strength for the fight he wanted to have.
“I know you think he’s good looking. You told him the first day you two met. You like his name. You call him when you’re in trouble …”
“Fuck you.” I couldn’t take back the words. I didn’t say them playfully like Everson, and the moment they crossed my lips I felt a clenching pain in my heart.
Cage’s eyes widened. He didn’t expect me to say that either. After a few moments, he shook his head, running his hands through his hair. “I hate it,” he whispered. “I hate this fucking—” He stopped so abruptly it felt like a car slamming into a concrete wall.
Words hurt so bad. My eyes filled with tears.
“I’m sorry …” I saw as much pain on his face as I felt in my heart.
He blinked several times, his eyes softening a bit.
“I’m tired. It’s no excuse. I’m jealous.
It’s not an excuse either, but I’m human so I can’t help it.
I get it. He saved you that day at the beach, but I would have too. You could have called 9-1-1 or—”
“Jesus, Cage! He didn’t just save me at the beach.
He saved Shayna’s life when I couldn’t.” That was it …
the tears could no longer be held at bay.
“After the game, when Everson asked about her, he was referring to our trip that turned into Shayna choking on a gumball while I just stood there helpless. Had …” I sucked in a shaky breath because the idea of what would have happened had Flint not been there was still too unbearable.
“Had Flint not been following me … she …” My hand slapped over my mouth and I released a sob. “H-he s-saved her l-life …”
Before I could take another breath, he had me in his arms. It’s the place I’d felt so desperate to be since the day it happened. In the most literal sense, I fought my way every day to be strong and stand on my own two feet, but sometimes even strong people needed a safe haven to just fall apart.
“Lake …”
I fisted his shirt and just cried. No expectations. No need for words. All I wanted was for him to be strong enough to take that pain I could no longer hold in my heart.
“I killed Ben and Shayna almost …”
“Shh … no … you’re so wrong.” He held my head, brushing his thumbs over my wet cheeks. “Lake Ivy Jones …”
I released a laugh that was still a partial sob.
“From this day forward … You. Share. Everything with me. I want to know if you bump your knee or break a nail.” His voice dropped to a whisper and his brows knitted. “You should have told me.”
“I want to protect you—”
“No.” He shook his head. “It’s a job.”
“You love your job.”
He rested his forehead on mine. “I love you.”
CAGE
“I have an early morning. Are you going to be okay?”
She pulled away and grabbed a tissue from the coffee table. “Yeah. If you don’t think I’m the neighborhood whore, then I’m good.”
That stung, but I deserved it. “I’m a jerk.”
She grunted a laugh. “You’re jealous. It equally pisses me off and turns me on at the same time.”
When would she learn? “I don’t like being jealous.”
“So you’ve said.” She tossed the tissue in the kitchen trash and filled a glass with water, drinking the whole thing without stopping.
I hated seeing her tear-stained eyes and her overall look of physical and emotional exhaustion. Mostly, I hated that I was responsible for part of it.
She wrapped her arms around me. “I need to feed Trzy, take a bath, and hopefully crash for a few hours before Shayna wakes up. I highly doubt she’ll sleep through the night. Not that I’m one to talk.”
“You seemed to sleep well last night.”
“I sleep better with you.”
“Yeah? Then you should move in with me.”
“Whoa!” She held up her hands. “Stop right there. It’s one thing to be your baby mama, but cohabitation too?”
My gaze shifted to her tummy. Why? Because I was an idiot, who for an insane moment thought that twenty-four hours after possible conception there would be something to see.