Chapter Thirty-Three
Tammy wasn’t sure how she made it through the rest of the afternoon without running upstairs and curling up in her bed with the covers over her head.
She had no choice because the clouds had come over and the drizzle had driven holidaymakers off the beaches and coast paths and into Porthmellow for some retail therapy.
She’d had to smile and be nice to customers until her jaw ached. Even so, the moment the gallery was empty again – as it was now – she hadn’t been able to put Sean’s revelation out of her mind. If it was a revelation and not a tissue of lies.
Why would Sean lie, though? While he was obviously jealous of Ruan and hoping to get back with her – or get back at her – he would hardly concoct such a story that was easy to disprove.
Or confirm.
On reflection, Ruan had been pretty vague about the location of the site of the caravan. In fact, he’d actively allowed her to assume it was a site rather than the grounds of a house. He’d also been very reluctant to allow her to visit.
She had yoga that evening and Ruan was going kitesurfing at Godrevy with his friends.
There was only one thing for it: ask him for an explanation straight out the following evening after the birthday party.
Even as she thought about the words, a sense of dread spread through her.
If he confirmed everything that Sean said was true, she didn’t know if they could get past it.
Why would Walter Cavendish leave a huge house and land to Ruan unless they were very close? Did Ruan know who Tammy was from the moment they’d met?
Was it more than ‘fate’ and a happy accident that he’d been watching her from the harbour that day?
And if so, if he had sought her out deliberately, then why?
After a fitful night’s sleep, Tammy worked in the shop the following morning before heading to a nearby beach for an anniversary commission.
She was still trying to keep up with the emails and messages, several of which had now turned to confirmed – or virtually guaranteed – projects taking place over the rest of the year and into the following summer.
By running workshops alongside her art and being able to command a bigger fee with corporates and festivals, the dream of making a living from her sand art alone was within her grasp.
Her problem was: how would Davey manage without her in the busy season? Now the school holidays were imminent, she had already accepted some jobs that would take her away from the shop when Davey needed her most.
She’d have to have a serious chat with him, although she guessed what his answer would be: look after yourself first, and he would manage.
The moment that Davey was off her mind, Ruan was on it again.
She seesawed between telling herself that Sean would make up any old story to derail their relationship, and the fact that it was too random for him to have made it up entirely.
Tonight, she’d ask Ruan, which set off a whole cloud of butterflies in her stomach – and not the pleasant kind. It was more like a cloud of big hairy moths trapped in there. First, however, she had to get down to the town beach to prepare Hattie’s birthday message.
The clouds had gone and it was now a fine evening, warmer than of late, bringing plenty of people out on to the harbour and beach.
The local teenagers were showing off their daredevil skills by tombstoning off the quay and into the harbour.
Tammy recognised one as Lola’s son and shuddered as he and his mates shrieked and backflipped into the water.
She’d loved doing it when she was a teen, but she wouldn’t dare now.
God knows what was lying on the harbour bed – old tyres, fishing gear, marine diesel.
Yuck. Did that make her old or just wise?
Not that wise, perhaps, given her recent choices of men.
Ruan had seemed like one of the best. He still could be. Tonight, she’d give him a chance to come clean.
Carrying her rake in its bag, she made her way to the end of the beach where the tide was still retreating. Lola was already there setting up a barbecue.
‘Hi there!’ She greeted Tammy with a hug. ‘Good night for it.’
‘Yeah. Didn’t fancy huddling under a gazebo in the drizzle.’
‘Heard any more from Hattie? That fall sounded nasty.’
‘She’s a bit sore but it could have been worse. Her sister’s giving her a lift and bringing her down to the beach. Who’s coming along?’
‘Ellie, Shefali, Petra … and their partners later, I think.’ Lola indicated the large cool box next to the barbecue. ‘I hope I brought enough food. That’s just the meat, fish and veggies. The others are bringing salads, bread, and dips.’
‘There’ll be more than enough. I brought some Prosecco and I should be able to do some cooking when the design is done.’
‘You’ve got enough to do. I know barbecuing isn’t your favourite pastime.’
‘I’m no Jude Kereama, that’s for sure,’ Tammy said, referencing the town’s famous chef.
‘You don’t need to be. Oh, I can see Ranvir coming this way. We’ll be fine. You concentrate on the birthday “card”.’
Tammy did as she was told, relieved to be able to focus on her design while the others set up a gazebo and chairs. Soon, the scent of burning charcoal filled the air and balloons were tied to the gazebo.
The simple design, a ‘Happy Birthday, Hattie’ surrounded by shells and starfish, didn’t take long. To pretty it up, Tammy found some seaweed and real shells and was finally satisfied.
‘Are you OK?’ Lola asked her, handing over a bottle of beer.
‘Yeah. I’m fine.’
‘Doesn’t look like it. You’re putting on a good act, but I get the impression you’re somewhere else.’ She tilted her head on one side like a curious bird. ‘Anything you want to share?’
‘Not right now. Maybe another time, thanks.’
‘Anytime. I’m always here for you. You might be worrying about nothing. If it’s Ruan, he seems to have fitted in as if he was always meant to be here.’
More people joined the laughing, chattering throng, including Ruan, carrying a box of beer. His formal cut was growing out and was tousled by the wind, its dark brown lightened by the sun. Wearing board shorts, a faded T-shirt and flip-flops, he looked as if he’d been born and bred in Cornwall.
‘Yes,’ said Tammy. ‘He does.’
Her heart went on a rollercoaster ride. Lust, happiness, dread … a feeling of longing to be with him that went so deep, she didn’t dare name it. Why did her life have to be so complicated?
Lola patted her arm and was summoned to the barbecue by Shefali. After Ruan had added his beer to the makeshift bar, he joined her.
He greeted her with a kiss. ‘Hi there. Sorry I’m a bit later than hoped. The traffic was bad and I had to go home, get changed, and come back here. Should have taken my shorts to work but I didn’t want to turn up in a suit like the first time.’
She forced a smile. ‘You’d have been the birthday entertainment if you had and you’re just in time because I see Hattie now with her sister. That’s her on the crutches on the slipway.’
‘Happy Birthday!’ everyone cried and joined in with a chorus of tooting paper horns, applause and a very shaky rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.
‘And here’s a special surprise,’ Lola declared. ‘A message in the sand for you.’
Hattie burst into tears when she saw it. ‘It’s so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you all for doing this. I expected a few crisps on the beach, not a full-on party. After falling over the other day and spending most of the night in A this ache was induced by stress and tension and the need to know if Sean had been telling the truth – and what Ruan was keeping from her.
She took two paracetamol and washed them down with water; then she lay on the sofa, waiting for the pills to work. She’d had one proper drink at the start of the evening and then held off on any more booze because she’d been so consumed with the thought of Ruan and what he might be hiding.
She got up cautiously, sipped some Coke and stood by the window, looking out over the harbour to the sea. Her head wasn’t throbbing any longer.
She snatched up her car keys and headed out of the flat.