Chapter 5
Caro
The old man was snoozing now and it reminded her of a photo she’d found in a box of old pictures of her grandad, fast asleep in a chair, still wearing his party hat after his Christmas lunch.
Her granddad on her mother’s side. Caro couldn’t ever remember being curious about her grandparents on her father’s side.
There was no conversation that she could recall, no big discussion, only the knowledge, for as far back as she could remember, that her dad’s parents had also died before she was born.
A memory, from a long time ago, surfaced into her consciousness.
Her mum, Yvonne, brushing Caro’s hair before bedtime.
She’d been about five, maybe six. Her dad sleeping on the sofa.
There had been something wrong with him, but Caro hadn’t understood it at the time.
He’d been ill and before he came back they’d gone to visit him somewhere.
In hospital perhaps? Her forehead crumpled as she tried to pull out more details from the dusty recesses of her childhood.
Nothing. Just a feeling that she’d been afraid, and that her mother, Yvonne, had been too.
‘We’re all he’s got,’ her mum had said, almost wistfully, as she ran a huge paddle brush through Caro’s hair. ‘That’s why we have to take such good care of him.’
Her mind turned the volume up on another conversation from long ago. This time she’d been eight or nine. It was in the summer holidays, and her dad was home for a few days, before heading off somewhere else with his Very Important Job.
She didn’t often get bored – there were always more books to read, more stories to write – but on this day she was missing the company of her school friends.
‘I wish I wasn’t an only child,’ she’d announced over a banana sandwich lunch.
‘What are you talking about?’ Dad had responded, in what she could see now was feigned shock. ‘That’s the best way to be! Can you imagine sharing your Christmas presents with someone else?’
She’d thought about it and immediately decided that being an only child maybe wasn’t so bad after all. Dad was okay and he had no brothers or sisters either.
Except… perhaps now she did.
Lila Anderson.
Her name floated on the tip of her tongue.
Lila Anderson. My sister.
Hi, I’m Lila’s sister.
Nothing felt right about it.
Anderson was a pretty common name. Although, the fact that Lila Anderson had a dad called Jack, who just happened to share a birthday with her own father, and look exactly like him, was stretching the powers of coincidence way too far.
She’d searched the blonde’s face for any similarities, but if they were there, she couldn’t see them.
Sure, they were both blonde, but even then, they were at opposite ends of the fair-haired spectrum.
Lila was a light, baby blonde, tumbling in waves that fell halfway down her back.
Caro was naturally dark blonde, cut in a long bob that just passed her shoulders.
Usually, she wore it tied back in a ponytail, so it didn’t get in the way when she was writing on the chalkboard, or marking jotters.
Low maintenance, that was how she would describe her look.
Not a trait that was shared by the woman, sister or not, in the photos.
This was obviously someone who loved to be the centre of attention, who was the star attraction of any occasion.
Caro couldn’t think of anything worse. Not that she was a shy wallflower, but she definitely preferred to be more low-key than the extrovert in the Facebook photos.
Her phone buzzed and she picked it up quickly, before the noise woke her travel companion. ‘Hey,’ she whispered, desperately trying not to be one of those people who shared their whole life with every other passenger on a train journey.
Todd dispensed with the fripperies. ‘Are you there yet and have you been arrested for stalking? Only, I haven’t had a chance to set up a Crowdfunding page for the bail money.’
‘Not there yet, no arrest and you’ve still got plenty of time.
We got held up for a while somewhere around Dundee – leaves on the line, they said – so we’re just coming into Perth now,’ she told him, trying to keep her tone light because this whole thing was so ludicrous it couldn’t possibly happen.
Could it? She changed the subject. ‘Is everything ok?’ she asked him. ‘Have you called?’
‘I’ve called and everything is fine,’ he promised her.
It had been her one request, that he call the hospital and check on Mum for her every couple of hours.
Actually, it wasn’t so much her request as his order.
He’d decided she had enough on her plate with one stressful parental situation, so had insisted he help with the other one.
Caro knew he felt better because he was doing something productive, so she let him win that one.
‘Thank you. So… what are you up to today?’
It was one of those questions that usually made Caro think she had to make more of an effort to enjoy life.
Todd never stood still, never had an off day, and he and Jared were on a mission to make the most of their lives.
They went rock climbing. They took spontaneous trips.
They went clubbing on a work night. They jet-skied on sunny days.
They worked hard and played hard, though the two of them worked in different salons, having decided that they could get too much of a good thing.
Todd was tall, athletic, and totally confident in his own skin.
He’d always been that easy-going, non-stressy kind of kid, and now he balanced out Jared’s boundless enthusiasm and fondness for drama by being an easy-going, non-stressy kind of adult. Caro loved him. Loved them both.
‘Took the day off for a rugby tournament this morning. Travelling team from New Zealand. We’ll get hammered, I’ll get hypothermia, and I’m fairly sure some of my internal organs will be moved to a new location.’
‘Ouch.’
‘Yep… oh, and Jason will no doubt ask about you.’
Jason was Todd’s best friend, and until two months ago, her boyfriend of three years.
They’d split – her decision – after her mum’s health deteriorated and she found Lila’s Facebook post. She couldn’t explain why.
Something shifted. She didn’t have the energy to give anything to him, when every waking moment was about caring for Mum and doing the best job she could as a teacher.
‘You didn’t tell him where I was going today, did you?’
‘Are you kidding? He already thinks you’re certifiable for ditching him, so this would only add weight to the theory.’
‘Thanks. I think,’ she smiled again.
‘Right, I need to go. Are you sure you don’t want me to jump on a train and head down? I’ve got the rest of the day off and I could be there this afternoon.’
‘Thanks, but honestly I’m fine. Nothing’s even going to happen. I just want to see… well, you know. I’m not planning on doing anything drastic. There’s every chance I’ll be back up on the last train tonight and none the wiser.’
She wasn’t being glib. There was every chance. In fact, it would probably be the most sensible thing to do. Confrontation wasn’t her thing. She just wanted to try to find a way to subtly suss out what was going on.
‘You know, messaging her would have saved the train fare and made this all so much easier.’
Todd was convinced it was all a big misunderstanding. Or her dad had a doppelg?nger. Or…
‘I’m still going with the evil twin, separated at birth theory,’ he added.
‘Me too,’ she agreed. Although, she absolutely didn’t. Because, in a completely contradictory, nonsensical way, much of this actually made sense.
Dad had been spending most of his time in Glasgow for as long as she could remember.
As far as she knew, he’d stayed in hotels there, but he could easily have been staying with someone else, living with another woman, spawning more kids.
Her mum had never gone with him, put off by his protestations that he was swamped with work when he was there.
Mum couldn’t protest any more.
The only blessing was that she was too ill to realise he’d gone.
Since Jack had walked away, Caro hadn’t heard from him.
A few days after he’d left, in a moment of fury and rage at the injustice of his behaviour, she’d called his mobile and discovered it had been disconnected.
Not surprising, really. Her whole life, she couldn’t remember him calling her a single time.
It was always Mum. Mum made the arrangements.
Mum visited after she’d moved out. Mum. Not Dad.
They’d never been close, never had that emotional bond that she saw between her friends and their fathers.
So now, she had to know if this Lila Anderson was the reason why.
‘Well, look, if you change your mind, call me back. If the train times don’t work, I can always jump in the car.’
‘Thanks Todd, but honestly, I’ll be fine. And besides, you’ll be busy with that Crowdfunding page.’
He was still laughing when he hung up, just as the tempo of the train changed enough to rouse the gentleman sitting opposite her from his sleep. He leaned forward and peered out of the window.
‘Ah, almost there.’ All traces of sleep on his face were immediately cast aside by excitement. What a lovely man.
There was a screeching of brakes as the train slowed even further, the end of the platform coming into sight now.
Caro got up, steadying herself by leaning against the side of the seat, and pulled down his bag. The train chuntered to a stop.
‘Thank you, my dear. It was an absolute pleasure.’
‘Merry Christmas. Enjoy your stay with your family.’
‘And you my dear,’ he replied.
Caro didn’t contradict him. Her family wasn’t in Glasgow. Her family was Todd, his parents, and a few distant relations that she only ever saw at weddings and funerals. Even Todd’s mum and dad, Auntie Pearl and Uncle Bob, had gone off to live in Spain. And there was Mum…
Slipping back into her seat, she glanced out of the window and saw a woman, maybe the same age as her, standing at the end of the platform with a couple of kids of maybe ten or eleven.
They started running as soon as they saw the gent she’d shared the journey with.
In seconds, they reached him, threw their arms around him, in a group hug. For a moment, Caro’s heart ached.
Her children would never do that.
They’d never run and throw their arms around their grandfather, because he’d never been that kind of guy.
He’d never shown much of an interest in Caro, never mind any children she might have.
No, he wouldn’t be that lovely old man, thrilled to pieces to see his descendants, to know them and pass on his wisdom and the stories of his life.
And they’d never be able to throw their arms around their gran because she was lying in a hospital bed, clinging on to a broken life.
Caro blocked her mind from going there, closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling, then concentrated on her breathing to make her pulse slow back down. In. Out. Inhale. Exhale.
She couldn’t think about it now. Over the last couple of months she’d become so practised at keeping it together, acting strong. Not that she’d had a choice. It almost came naturally to her now.
In. Out. Inhale. Exhale. It took a few moments, but she got the emotions under control and the combination of closing her eyes and the late morning winter sun that was shining through the window made her drop off into a welcome sleep.
The next thing she knew, the train was changing tempo once again, the movement and raised noise level in the carriage alerting her to the fact that they were near a station. Maybe Stirling? Falkirk.
She glanced at her watch. No, it couldn’t be.
Only a few minutes before they’d been in Perth, hadn’t they?
But no. Her fellow passengers were all on their feet now, the deathly slow movement of the train allowing them to yank down their bags, lift their children, pull on their coats, call loved ones to let them know they had arrived.
Caro stretched up, trying to kick-start both body and brain into action. She wasn’t ready for this. She wanted a while longer in the safe cocoon of oblivion before she took any more steps towards finding out if everything she believed to be true was a total sham.
The train was crawling now, nearly stopped, alongside a platform that was almost deserted, making the sign that greeted her impossible to miss.
Glasgow.
She was here.
The truth was out there. All she had to do was walk towards it.