Chapter 17 #2
There was a ridiculous one in the car, wearing sunglasses in flipping December. The next one asked for a poll on her lipstick and the last one, in the car again, declared it was champagne and pamper time.
Caro was already halfway into an eye roll when she realised she had no right to judge, given that so far her afternoon consisted of a grooming session, a lovely lunch, and a large gin and tonic.
She went back to Facebook and realised with a jolt that Lila was in a salon.
Hang on, had she missed her in Pluckers?
Was she there now? Definitely not. Suze had been sure she wasn’t coming in today.
But then, a girl like Lila probably frequented many beauty venues, so there was nothing to say that she was definitely referring to Pluckers.
Time to accept that finding Lila in a city the size of Glasgow was highly unlikely.
Right now she could be absolutely anywhere.
She pulled out her phone and called Todd again.
‘How do you feel about Calvin Klein?’ she asked when he answered.
‘You mean, personally? I don’t think we’ve ever met. I’m fairly partial to his underwear though. In a manner of speaking.’
‘Excellent, because you just got a lovely box of kecks, thanks to my hopeless undercover skills. I discovered Lila’s boyfriend owns a shop. Went in, but he wasn’t there. So I flaked and bought you boxer shorts.’
Todd’s cackling laughter sounded like interference on the line. ‘I like your style. And I hope you got them in large, but skinny round the hips.’
‘Eeew, too much information.’
‘Sorry. Any chance you can go back in and flake again? I could do with a six-pack of socks and some fleecy pyjamas.’
‘Don’t mock the afflicted,’ Caro chided, seeing the humour in it. A pang of wishing he was here made her take a very large sip of her gin. ‘Anyway, this sad reflection of my limitations has persuaded me to come home. I’m not sure what I thought I’d achieve, but this isn’t it.’
‘Where are you now?’
‘In a hotel bar next to the train station. I’m just having a drink and then I’ll get the next train. Will you pick me up from the station?’
‘Of course I will.’
Another sip of gin. ‘Thanks. You’re the best cousin anyone could ever want. Actually, scrap that. You’re a terrible cousin for not talking me out of coming here.’
‘I tried but there are limits to my superpowers,’ he joked.
There was a pause. That happened a lot – it was like a natural interlude between happy normal life and serious sad life.
‘Have you spoken to the hospital?’ she asked, desperate for news, or reassurance.
‘Twice and she’s absolutely fine. I’m just about to go by there. If there are any problems, I’ll call you.’
Her vocal chords took a minute to respond, caught by a wave of guilt.
This was the first day in two years that she hadn’t gone to see her mum, either at home, or in hospital.
Yet, she couldn’t remember the last day that her mum recognised she was there.
Not that it mattered. She would carry on going until…
‘Caro?’
‘Sorry,’ she cleared her throat. Getting emotional while sitting alone, drinking gin, in the middle of a crowd of strangers in a hotel wasn’t going to happen. Not to her. The thought of anyone looking at her with curiosity, of attracting that kind of attention, filled her with absolute horror.
No. Woman up. Get a grip. Keep it together.
The waiter appeared again in her peripheral vision and signalled to her almost-empty glass.
What the hell. One more drink. She could get the train after the next one. What was she rushing home to do anyway?
Today she was being… normal. She wasn’t being a teacher in front of a classroom full of kids.
They would all be counting down the hours to Santa’s arrival, wrapping gifts, visiting family, or heading off on ski trips, or making some other plans for the Christmas break.
She wasn’t being a girlfriend, now that she’d split with Jason.
She wasn’t being a daughter, because she was down here.
She was just being… normal. Just a normal person, doing the kind of normal things that other normal people did on a normal Friday in December.
Even the coolness of the last sip of gin couldn’t numb the lump of pain that had formed in her throat.
Normal. How could any of this be normal? Did normal people wonder if the dad that had walked away from them had actually been living a double life? Or have a mum that couldn’t remember her family?
That was how she’d known for sure that something was wrong.
It was a couple of years ago. A sunny day, the first of the school summer holidays.
She’d taken her mum some lunch and planned to spend the day with her.
Yvonne was in the garden, looking happy, fresh-eyed, wearing a huge floppy hat to keep the sun off her face.
She could have walked right off the set of one of those health insurance adverts, or perhaps an M&S commercial.
Younger than her years, vibrant, pretty.
Caro’s spirits had soared to see her so healthy and happy.
Perhaps the strange behaviour and erratic events of the previous months had been the result of depression after all. Nothing more sinister to worry about.
They’d chatted. Laughed. Caro had told her all about her plans to go travelling for the summer. ‘When’s Dad home again?’ she’d asked, hoping to see him before she went.
‘Not for a couple of weeks yet,’ her mum had answered.
Caro had gone in to unpack the lunch and that’s when her dad had called to say he was on the train home and wanted to be picked up from the station.
‘But Mum said you’re not due home for a while,’ Caro said, confused.
‘What? We spoke yesterday. She knew I was coming back today,’ he replied, irritated.
That was it. Right there. The woman who had waited with bated breath for her husband to walk through the door every single time he returned, had forgotten he was on his way.
Todd’s voice at her ear snapped her back to the present. ‘Caro?’
‘Sorry, I think it’s a bad signal. I just… miss her.’
‘I know you do.’ She could hear the sadness in his voice and Caro knew that he missed her too. Yes, physically her mum was still there, but the truth was that the woman she’d been was long gone.
‘Anyway, so I’ve just ordered another drink – that’s two gin and tonics in the same day. I haven’t done that since university. I may keel over and wake up tomorrow morning in a gutter.’
Todd laughed. ‘About time. I’m sick of that only being my party trick.’
‘You’re right. Somewhere there’s a gutter with my name on it. Anyway, I’ll be home later tonight. I’ll…’
Her eyes drifted to the notification on the iPad in front of her.
Lila Anderson has updated her status.
‘Hang on…’
‘Yep, your colleague at Stalkers Anonymous has just had a notification too,’ Todd replied. ‘God, I hate being a weirdo.’
A photo – Lila with her boyfriend, taken on a beach somewhere. He was, as always, topless, and she was in a bikini that looked like three pom poms tied together.
Can’t wait for dinner tonight at Grilled with this gorgeous man! #spoiled #luckyme.
‘Urgh, is it wrong that I’m really jealous of your might-be-half-sister? I mean, seriously, there should be a law against being that happy.’
Caro was too busy thinking the development through in her mind.
So she knew exactly where Lila would be.
No question. She could go to the restaurant and speak to her and clear this up once and for all.
Not that there was anything sensible about striding over to a stranger who was enjoying a romantic date with her boyfriend and announcing that they may share a dad.
With a bit of luck she could do it subtly, in such a way that didn’t cause too much drama.
Unless, of course, Lila was actually her half-sister, in which case the drama would be unavoidable.
But at least she’d know. No more wondering.
‘Okay, change of plan. I’m just going to check into this hotel tonight – I don’t even care if it costs a fortune. And I’ll go to the restaurant and see what happens.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘No,’ Caro said, with a wry chuckle.
‘I know I keep saying this, but you don’t have to do it, especially if you don’t feel ready.’
‘I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. But what’s the point of coming home with nothing?’
‘I get that. Ok, well, if you’re doing it, you might need to take a couple more of those gin and tonics for bravery purposes,’ Todd suggested. ‘And call me back the minute you get to the restaurant. I wish I was there with you.’
‘Me too. But I’d rather you were there so you’re close in case Mum needs you.’
‘Don’t worry about it, Caro – I’ve got this. And so do you. You’ll go there, you’ll meet her, you’ll sort this out. You can do it. You can. You’re the strongest person I know. But just, promise me one thing…’
‘What?’
‘That you won’t get so pissed you lose my Calvins.’
‘I promise I’ll bring them home to you,’ she vowed. ‘But right now I’m going to go. Will buzz you later. Let me know how Mum is, will you? And Todd… thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. You can repay me in designer boxers.’
It was impossible not to smile as she hung up. She might just go in and buy another set in the morning as an extra gift. Services rendered for moral support.
Another sip of gin and tonic, then she went on to the website for the restaurant that Lila mentioned.
Wow. The images on the home page showed a decidedly upmarket venue, with deep-stuffed, crushed velvet booths, exquisitely set tables, and a huge, dramatic chandelier dropping in a myriad of glass beads from the high ceiling to the centre of the room.
It was breath-taking. She deliberately avoided looking at the menu prices.
Instead, she cast a glance over her jeans and Converse.
Not exactly the outfit of choice for this kind of place.
It would be crazy to go there. Mad. Why would she put herself through that?
But… maybe, if she timed it right, she could go speak to Lila in the toilets, casually, and somehow engage her in a conversation that would absolutely prove that wasn’t her dad in the pic.
Maybe that guy was English. Or French. Maybe he had lived with her and her mum every day of their lives.
Maybe he was a distant cousin who just happened to look like her dad.
Maybe it was her dad’s twin, separated at birth and kept secret all this time. Maybe she’d had way too much gin.
Picking up her phone again, she dialled the number at the top of the screen.
There was only one way to get answers to her questions.
‘Hi, can I make a reservation for tonight please?’