Chapter 22
Cammy
Digby turned the sign on the front door of the shop to ‘CLOSED’. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and lock up?’ he asked.
Cammy was lounging on one of the leather chairs outside the changing rooms, one leg over the studded arm, the suit he’d eventually chosen hanging on the wall behind him.
Josie and Val were on the other two armchairs, both of them with their shoes off and feet up on the coffee table in the centre of the seating area.
‘No, you’re fine, mate – I’ll do it,’ Cammy answered. ‘But if you come in tomorrow morning and something seems off, check the store cupboard in case I’m in there, hands and feet bound with duct tape.’
Josie leaned over to Val. ‘Scrap that one off the list, Val – we no longer have the element of surprise.’
‘Bye, ladies,’ Digby said, as he kissed them in turn on the cheek. ‘I think you’re on to a lost cause there.’
‘There’s still time. And hope. And drugs that Josie got off the Internet that could make him unconscious.’
Digby hesitated, not quite sure whether Val was kidding, before realising that would be too far even for them. Possibly.
As Digby headed off, Josie leaned down to the side of the chair and brought up her bottle of beer, courtesy of the minibar in Cammy’s office. It had been there since the old days, one of the fixtures that had been left behind when Mel sold up and moved on.
‘What a day,’ Cammy said, wearily. ‘I’m knackered.’
Val tutted. ‘Och, for God’s sake, a young man like you shouldn’t be knackered. I swear, Josie, energy is wasted on the young.’
Josie nodded. ‘Yep, energy and good sex. Wasted.’
Cammy’s laugh coincided with trying to swallow a mouthful of beer, and the result was a coughing fit that sprayed Miller Lite over his 7 For All Mankind jeans. He made a mental note to drop them into the dry-cleaners across the road first thing Monday morning.
‘Okay, so I’m good to go,’ he reflected, leaving the half-full bottle on the counter. ‘Ring, venue, suit. Thanks for keeping me company today. And Josie, I know you don’t approve, but you came along anyway and I appreciate that.’
‘We never do agree on anything,’ she said, with a twenty-cigarette-a-day cackle. It was true. Their whole relationship was built on a solid foundation of love, affection, bickering and disagreement.
‘Nope, we do not. It’s why I love you.’
Val tipped up her beer and finished it off.
‘Right then, my loves. I could sit here all night but my Don will send out a search party if I’m not back, clutching a chicken chow mein, in time for Strictly.
It’s the little things in life…’ she said, grinning.
‘Since Josie has led me astray with alcohol, we’ll jump in a cab and Don will bring me back in for the car in the morning. ’
Cammy reached over and took her hand. ‘Tell Don I said hello and I’ll give him a shout during the week for a pint.’
‘Will do. Maybe make it the same evening as our book club. What night is it this week, Josie?’
‘Thursday.’
‘Okay, will do. What are you reading this week then?’
The two of them gave him the pursed lips of warning. He’d discovered months ago that ‘book club’ was their euphemism for a ‘drink gin and gossip with pals’ club. Josie and Val had been going for years and they’d never discussed a classic novel yet.
‘You ready to go now too?’ Josie asked him as she wandered over and deposited her beer bottle in the bin.
‘I’ll be five minutes. Just want to sort out a tie and quickly cash up today’s takings.’
Josie leaned down and gave him a hug, then a kiss on the cheek. ‘You know we love you, don’t you?’ she said affectionately.
‘I do,’ he replied truthfully.
‘Right, I said I wasn’t going to go there…’ Josie announced mournfully.
‘Don’t, Josie,’ Val warned.
‘It’s for his own good,’ came the retort.
‘Jesus, we were almost out the door,’ Val sighed.
Josie, however, was unconcerned about the protest. She turned to face Cammy. ‘Cammy, you know that, as always, this comes from a place of love…’
‘Oh God,’ Cammy groaned, knowing this wasn’t going anywhere good.
Josie carried on, undeterred. ‘I promise I’ll butt out of your life and get on board with this wedding.
I’ll even wear a hat the size of a manhole cover.
I’ll do a jig. And I’ll tell Lila that she’s the best thing that ever happened to you despite the fact that she’s down there on the list below chickenpox and the boot in the bollocks you got that time at five-a-side footie… ’
Cammy turned to Val. ‘The biggest “but” in history is just around the corner, isn’t it?’
Val nodded sadly. ‘Coming right at you.’
Josie took a moment to prepare the rest of the declaration. ‘BUT only if you can absolutely 100 per cent without a doubt tell me honestly that you feel the same way about Lila as you did about Mel.’
‘I do,’ Cammy blurted.
‘Honestly?’ Josie asked sceptically.
‘Is that why you don’t want me to get engaged? Because you don’t think I love her enough?’
Josie looked sheepish. ‘No. It’s because she’s shallow, stand-offish, she’ll bleed you dry and she couldn’t find a sense of humour if it was gift-wrapped in tissue paper and backlit with a strobe light.
But apart from that, you’re right. I think you’ve come home and you want to settle down, make a new life, banish old ghosts, and that’s what she’s done for you.
I worry that it’s the idea of her that you love more than the real thing.
I don’t see her make you laugh, I don’t see that you’re best friends like you and M… ’
Cammy interrupted her before she could finish the sentence. He didn’t need to hear it. ‘She does, and we are. I want to marry her, Josie.’
‘Then I’ll get shopping for a manhole cover,’ Josie replied, beat. She’d given it her best shot. There was no more to be done.
Val moved in to hug him. ‘Good luck tonight. If you’re happy that’s all that matters.’
‘Thanks Val.’
And then they were gone, leaving him sitting in an empty shop with an expensive suit waiting to go on, and an engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket. And Josie’s words replaying in his mind.
‘Tell me honestly that you feel the same way about Lila as you did about Mel.’
Why? Why did he have to feel the same? Wasn’t it perfectly okay to feel differently when there was a different woman involved? Surely a guy was allowed to find love more than once in his life, and it would be a unique kind of love, depending on the other person.
‘Tell me honestly that you feel the same way about Lila as you did about Mel.’
Of course he wouldn’t feel the same. Absolutely not.
Because, he knew he didn’t.
Mel had… He swallowed back an obstruction that seemed to have formed in his throat.
For ten years, Mel had been the first thing he’d thought of when he got up in the morning, yet he’d kissed her only once.
In a nightclub. They’d gone there, Mel, Josie and Cammy, to cheer her up after her marriage fell apart.
They’d ate too much, drank too much, and then somehow, inadvertently, gatecrashed an Elvis tribute night in one of the function suites.
Josie had been swept off her pop socks by some bloke called Ernie, in blue suede shoes…
Christ, even the thought of it made his sides hurt.
It was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.
Meanwhile, he’d been dancing with Mel, her wild mane of red hair all messed up and falling down over her shoulders, both of them far too drunk to care that four Elvises and a Priscilla were questioning their right to be there, when the music had switched from an up-tempo number to ‘One Night With You’.
They were dancing, laughing, and then suddenly he was kissing her, slowly, tenderly caressing her lips. She reciprocated, her tongue running softly, teasingly across his.
Their hips seemed to press even more tightly together, their arms came up higher and hands found their way on to faces that they’d never touched in that way before.
Suddenly, as if Mel’s brain caught up with what was happening, she broke it off, panicked, and then she was gone.
That had been it. Their moment. All those years of quietly loving her and that was all it ever came to.
A few weeks later, Mel had discovered that he’d been having an affair with Suze, her very married sister-in-law, and any chance they’d ever had blew off in the wind.
Gone. Dream over. He couldn’t bear to see her disappointment in him every day, so he’d left, moved to LA – and the next thing he’d heard, Josie’s son, Michael, had come home after spending years working in Italy, he’d married Mel and they’d gone off back to live in Milan.
Or Venice. Or somewhere else fricking romantic that would be perfect for living a life of bliss with the woman he’d adored.
Did he feel the same way about Lila? No.
Theirs was a different kind of love. A ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’ kind of love.
There was a connection, a meeting of two similar souls.
He couldn’t explain it. All he knew was that when he came home to Scotland and decided he wanted to be with someone, there she was.
Beautiful. Positive. Upbeat. Loving life.
With a vulnerable side that he just saw a tiny hint of every now and then.
By some miracle, she’d fallen in love with him too.
And no, Mel had never done that.
He’d only had a few sips of the beer, and most of that he’d sprayed over his jeans, but it was starting to make his guts ache. Or maybe it was the step into the past that was turning his stomach. Either way, he was beginning to feel decidedly nauseous.
He got up, went into the office, to where Digby had left the till tray with today’s takings.
He quickly cashed it up and stored it in the safe, then grabbed his suit and headed out, setting the alarm, before locking the door and pulling down the shutters.
Just as the beeps of the alarm stopped, a taxi came down the street.
First lucky thing that had happened to him all day.
He flagged it down and gave the driver the address for home, then gave himself a pep talk the whole way there.
Her late appointment was bound to be done by now and she should be in when he got back so he had to act natural. Do not act weird. Do not seem suspicious. Be cool. She doesn’t know. You can pull this off. Yes you can.
Outside the door to the flat, he paused, took a moment, steeled himself to be casual and nonchalant, then opened the door.
‘Hey babe,’ he shouted out, the same way he did every other night when he got home.
Nothing.
‘Lila?’
Still nothing. Maybe she was in the shower. He checked the en suite. Nothing.
Every other room. More nothing.
She wasn’t home. He checked his watch. Almost 7.30 p.m. Lila was a woman who took at least an hour to get ready to go out. When she’d left the shop she’d said that she had one more appointment, but she should definitely be back by now.
He pulled his phone out and called her, relief soaring when she answered.
‘Babe, is everything okay?’ he asked.
‘Of course it is, darling.’ She sounded fine. Normal. Maybe a bit tired.
‘I thought you’d be back home to change before we go out to dinner. I just got here and there’s no sign of you.’
‘I’m sorry, honey, I just got held up with this meeting. Anyway, I picked up my pink dress from the dry-cleaners this afternoon – you know, the Cavalli one – and it’s in the back of the car. I’ll just change and meet you there.’
Pros and cons.
Cons first. He’d been hoping to start the night with a glass of champagne at home, just to have a moment together before they went to the restaurant. If she was going straight there she was bound to be a bit harassed.
Also, she would absolutely, definitely, positively be late. It was only his constant prompting that got them anywhere even remotely close to being on time. Her parents were exactly the same so it was obviously a family trait.
Pros. He wouldn’t have to act natural or pretend that this was just another ordinary Friday night.
‘Ok, babe, try to get there as soon as you can.’
‘Will do.’ She rung off a bit abruptly – but then, so would he if he was still at work at 7.
30 p.m. on a Friday night. She really needed to take her foot off the gas a little with that job.
She was working herself into the ground, doing all sorts of crazy hours and sacrificing her personal time for overnight stays at exhibitions and conferences.
It wasn’t fair on her. Although, he did find her dedication to her job and her work ethic pretty sexy. Mel had been the same.
Argh, fricking Mel again. This had to stop before it made him crazy.
He took a quick five-minute shower, shaved, then ran some styling wax through his hair, dressed in his sharp new suit, and was ready to go twenty minutes later.
He was almost at the door, when he realised he hadn’t picked up the most important item of the night.
He retrieved it from the jacket he’d had on earlier, opened the box and watched as the one tiny diamond inset in the band caught the light.
It was simple. Elegant. Beautiful. Even if she wanted to go pick something much more blinged out, she could always keep this one too. She deserved it.
Outside, he decided to walk to the restaurant. It would clear his head and give him a chance to think through what he wanted to say.
Lila, you’ve made me the happiest guy… Nope, too corny.
Lila, from the first moment I saw you I knew… Nope, not strictly factual. The only thing he knew in that first moment he saw her was that he was deeply in lust.
Lila, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much. Bland. Uninspired. Fuck it, he’d just have to wing it.
As soon as the restaurant came into view in the distance, he forced himself to think positively. It was all going to work out. He was going to propose. She was going to say yes. They would live happily ever after, while avoiding Josie at all social gatherings. It would be perfect.
Enough had gone wrong today. From here on in, it was all going to go exactly to plan. As Val would say, he could feel it in his water.
He’d barely finished the thought when a passing car veered right through a puddle and soaked him.