CHAPTER THREE
SONYA
“Reid, are you up?” I whisper, knocking lightly on his bedroom door at the end of the hall. A few seconds pass, and when he doesn’t answer, I reach for the knob, planning to slip in and set his keys on his side table before slipping back out. I open it as quietly as possible, pausing when I find him sitting up in bed with his nose still buried in the same book from the bar. “Hey,” I say, straightening my stance. “You’re still up.”
So absorbed in his book, he doesn’t even look up. I would be offended if I didn’t know Reid and how easily he slips out of reality into the fictional worlds he holds between the palms of his hands. While most kids were out playing sports or playing in the sandbox, Reid was never happier than with the company of a book.
Which is clear as day now, every empty corner of his room covered in books. I’m not sure he could go more than five minutes without a book near him.
Setting his keys on the nightstand, I lean over and press my lips to his cheek. “Night.”
“Night, Sunny,” he says, finally acknowledging my presence but not sparing me a glance.
I shake my head and step into the hall, pulling the door shut behind me before walking toward the start of the stairs where my room is. The hardwood floor creaks beneath my feet as I pass Bekah’s room, our shared bathroom sandwiched between our bedrooms. I’m reaching for my doorknob when I hear the mattress squeak on the opposite side and know Dylan has made himself at home without even opening the door.
It's not my first time coming home to him in my room. Hell, sometimes I go to sleep alone and wake up the next morning to him beside me. A side effect of living next door to him and two of his teammates.
“Do I even ask?” I reach for the light switch, flipping it on to find him sprawled out amongst my pale orange-colored bedding. The color is complemented by the pops of pink and yellow throughout the room. Bekah once said it looked like a sunset had thrown up everywhere, and she wasn’t exactly wrong. I’m not sure I’d want it any other way.
He lifts his head from the mountain of pillows with a smile, resting the phone in his hand against his chest. “Fitz brought home the screamer again,” he explains, not needing to say more because I am already well aware of the details of his center and the volume at which he hooks up. “It’s cool if I crash here, right? We have an early practice in the morning, and you know how I am if I don’t get enough sleep.”
“Didn’t feel like sleeping over at the redheads?” I tease, shutting the door. Dylan is already handing me the pajamas I keep tucked under my pillow when I walk towards the bed.
“You know how I feel about sleepovers,” he says, attention back on his phone while I change out of my clothes. I do know. It’s easier to stay unattached when there are no expectations beyond sex. It’s rule number one when it comes to Dylan.
“She wasn’t the one, huh?”
He lets out a laugh when I settle at my desk nestled in the corner of the room, pulling open the top drawer to pull out my skincare. “I’m not sure I have a one.”
I turn my head, taking in the faraway look on his face. It wraps around my heart and squeezes tightly. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know anymore. It’s not a priority for me right now, you know? I just want to focus on hockey and being the best I can be. I don’t see myself putting that aside to make someone else number one.”
“You don’t want someone to celebrate with?”
“That’s what you’re for, Sunny,” he tells me, tucking one of his arms under his head while watching me clean my make-up off. “Besides, we have a pact. If we’re both still single at thirty-five, we get hitched, and I buy us a big house with all my hockey money.”
“When did I agree to this? I ask, turning to him as I put moisturizer on.
“Now?”
“I love you, but no,” I say, placing everything back in my drawer before tucking my curls into my silk bonnet. “You can buy me that big house, though.”
“Whatever you want,” he hums, closing his eyes when I stand up. “How was the rest of your night? Walker still falling at your feet?”
“If rejecting me after I suggested we have sex is still falling at my feet, sure,” I tell him while reaching for my bedroom door, leaving him to sit with my words while I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I don’t know if I expected Walker to say yes. I hadn’t thought it through when it all but tumbled out of my mouth and onto the table.
It’s one thing to think about it and know he does too, and something else entirely to lay it all out in the open for him to pick apart. I shouldn’t have said anything. If I had been thinking more clearly, I wouldn’t have, but there’s something about Walker that makes it easy to lay my soul out for him to see. He’s never once made me feel bad about being an open book, and I know this will be no different. It will be something we tuck away and never bring up again.
I’m just not sure I know how to brush this one off. Or if I want to.
“What are you talking about?” Dylan asks, leaning into the door frame while I run my toothbrush under the water.
Instead of giving him an answer, I start brushing my teeth and hold his gaze in the mirror. Lines of frustration start to run across his forehead, waiting for me to spit it out. Both the toothpaste and an answer.
“Sunny, what did you do?”
Spitting, I rinse my toothbrush before finally answering him. “I took what you said into consideration and thought maybe he felt the same.”
“You seriously asked him to sleep with you?”
Turning to face him, I lean my hip against the counter and cross my arms over my chest. “It seemed like a fair question at the time,” I share, chewing my bottom lip.
Maybe if I weren’t so used to being open with Walker, I’d be slightly embarrassed by the whole thing, but I’m not. I’m just frustrated. With myself, for dropping it on him like that and with the lack of sex I’m having.
“What exactly did you say?”
“I asked if he ever thought about sleeping with me, which he didn’t say yes, but his face did, and then I suggested we have sex because I miss it.”
He raises an eyebrow, amusement on full display in his eyes. “Do you?”
“So much,” I whine, stepping towards him to force him back into the hall. Except he doesn’t move, so my forehead hits his hard chest. “It’s pathetic how long it’s been, Dylan.”
“How long?”
Lifting my head, I grit my teeth and reach for the lights. “Before you.”
“Sunny, what the hell?” His eyes widen just before I hit the light switch and push past him to get back to my bedroom. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, but my full class load already has me spread thin. The time I have left, I spend with my friends and showing up for them in the way they do me. Sex just got lower and lower on the list of importance.
“I mean, if I hadn’t freaked out on you, we would have gotten there eventually. No orgasm left behind and all, right? That’s your motto.”
“Fuck off,” he says, shoving me lightly into my room. “So, Walker said no.”
Crawling under my comforter, I nod. “Yeah, he said we were friends.”
“That’s lame. I’m sorry, Sunny.” Climbing in next to me, he holds his phone out for me to plug in on my side of the bed, where I keep an extra charger for him. “It’s his loss.”
“Yeah, but he’s allowed to say no,” I say, sinking into my pillow as the lingering sour feeling spills out. “Maybe it would have been different if I had thought it out a little bit more.”
“You know, if you’re really looking to get off, I am more than willing to help.” His hand skirts over the hem of my pajama shirt, balling the fabric in his fist and pulling it tight.
“What’s that thing you’re always telling me not to be? Oh, right, desperate!” I turn on my side, grab his wrist, and untangle my shirt from his grasp as the corner of his lips tug up.
“Are you saying I’m bottom of the barrel here?” he asks, resting his hand over his heart. “I’m hurt, Sunny. Absolutely devastated.”
I roll my eyes. “You’ll get over it, you big baby.”
“You know what? Just for that, you’re getting a human blanket tonight,” he says, resting all of his six-four and two-hundred-pound body on me.
“Dylan!” I squeal, squirming under him, and press my hand into his chest. “Get off me! I’m letting you sleep in my bed, and this is how you repay me?”
He goes limp over me. “Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m sleeping.”
“You are the worst, you know that? Fitz is my favorite Mustang now. Do you think he has any jerseys lying around? I suddenly hate the number ninety-one.”
“Your favorite, huh? I’ll be sure to let Beks know you’re rooting for the enemy.”
“Where’s my phone?” I crane my neck to look at my nightstand. “Going to text Fitz and let him know you just called him the enemy. I’m sure he’ll love that.”
“Truce?”
“You started this!” I gasp, pushing on his chest, and this time he rolls off me. “He needs to know what you think about him. They’ll be so disappointed.” I turn onto my side, reaching for my phone while he reaches for me.
“Who’s they?” he asks, grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand back.
“The Canadians, obviously.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he says, leaning over to press his lips to my temple before rolling onto his back. “Go to sleep, Sunny. I have an early morning.”
“You’re lucky I have an early class, or I would keep you up all night for being a dick.”
“Doing what exactly? You don’t want to have sex with me.”
A groan falls from my lips as I turn away from him. “Let it go!”
His rich laugh fills the room, coating the walls, and any leftover tension I was holding onto fades into nothing. It leaves me feeling lighter as I pull my pillow down and hug it to my chest. Even at my worst, Dylan seems to find the switch to make me feel bright again.
And I couldn’t be more grateful to my younger self for being wise enough to see him as someone special. Someone who is always willing to offer a solution, even when it’s himself, to problems that don’t need solving. As much as I’d like to shake off my conversation with Walker, to forget it and find someone else, I’m not sure I know how to.
I want Walker, and I’m stubborn enough to bide my time until he wants me back.