CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
WALKER
I’m losing her. Her entire mood has shifted. I saw it slowly creeping away when we were at the pool table, and I called her gorgeous. The lines blurred long before then, but she’s seeing them now. The way I had before agreeing to this. To be her friend with added benefits.
I went through all the what-ifs before I landed on them being worth this little bit of extra sunshine she’s afforded me. I’ve seen all sides of Sonya now, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little obsessed with her. As if I hadn’t been before we slept together. It was different then, though. I had a switch. One I could turn on and off.
I could control myself.
But that control has slowly started to slip into uncontrollable territory. I don't want to control myself when it comes to Sunny, the warm honey of her eyes, and the smile that lights up her face. I will only have this for so long, and I want to soak up as much as I can. I want her to be able to enjoy this without slipping into an overwhelming state of question every time I tell her how undeniably gorgeous she is, which will happen often.
“Sunny.” I pull her forward until her front is flush with my chest and slide my hands up her back until her face is between my hands. “Sunny, look at me,” I say, brushing my thumb gently over her cheek. “Don’t go down this rabbit hole. Be here with me.”
“I am,” she says, her lips pulling up until my thumb is in the divot of her dimple. “I’m here with you. I just…I’m fine.”
I shake my head. “I can see you, gorgeous. You’re in that beautiful head of yours, freaking out over what-ifs that aren’t going to happen. I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
Swallowing, she nods her head before saying, “You can’t call me gorgeous.”
“I won’t if it makes you that uncomfortable,” I tell her, sliding my hands back until my fingers tangle in her hair. “But I need you to know just how true it is,” I say, leaning down until our lips are an inch apart. “And if you won’t let me tell you, I’m just going to have to show you.”
Her eyes brighten before she leans up and her fingers pull at the fabric of my shirt. “Show me.”
I brush my thumb under her jaw to tilt her head back and meet her lips in a bruising kiss. A whimper fills the room, her hands slipping under the hem of my top and over the waistband of my jeans. Her skin against mine adds fuel to the fire burning between us, the dip of her fingers along the elastic of my boxer sending us up in flames. My skin sizzles under her touch and the knowledge that, in this moment right here, she’s mine to have.
I want her in my veins.
I need her in every corner of my brain. Kissing down her neck, I find the spot behind her ear and suck gently on her skin. She arches into me, pulling her hands forward and sliding them up my chest. With each second, I can feel her anxiety melting away.
Moving my hands down to her waist, I lift her shirt up until my hands are on her exposed skin. She shifts forward, away from the sink, grinding her hips against my hardening length. Her lips find my neck, her fingers curl into my collar and pull it down to press her lips against the hollow of my throat.
“Sunny, you are driving me crazy.”
“Good,” she hums against my skin. “You are wearing too many clothes.”
I reach for the button of her jeans, ignoring the way she pushes her hands further up my sweater to try and get it off my body. “I could say the same to you.”
“We should change that,” she mumbles but trails off when my hand slips past the waistband of her underwear. I meet her lips again, groaning into her mouth when I feel just how wet she is. I don’t think I can ever be sick of this. Of her. “Walker,” she whimpers when my thumb finds her sensitive clit.
She’s no longer in her head, worried about what this might become. She’s with me now, enjoying it as thoroughly as I am. It fills me with the hope that this won’t end in the blink of an eye the way I thought it might only minutes ago. All it took was getting her out of the spiral of thoughts she was heading down. Reminding her just how good this can be. How good it will be.
“Walker, please,” she begs, moving her hips forward in search of more friction.
A smile curls up on my lips. “What?”
“You’re killing me.” She grinds against my hand, greedy to feel my fingers. Her hands come up to my bicep, holding me tighter as she fucks my fingers, taking what she needs from me. I lean forward, my free hand resting on the counter behind her to give her more leverage as we find a rhythm. “More,” she gasps, finding my lips amid her pleas. “I need more.”
“I don’t have a condom.”
Without pulling away from me, one of her hands leaves my arm and slips between us to dig something out of her front pocket. She smiles into the kiss before pulling away, holding up the silver foil between her two fingers for me to see. I pull my hand from her panties, earning myself a whimper in the process, and take it from her with a lifted brow.
“You always carry condoms around with you?” I ask, eyeing her when she reaches for my belt buckle.
I have to bite down on my lip to keep from chuckling. Sonya is an eager person. It’s part of who she is, but knowing she’s this eager to free my cock from the constraints of my jeans might just do me in. I’m harder than I’ve ever been, and she hasn’t even touched me yet.
“No, this is a new development,” she says, pulling my zipper down slowly. “Kind of handy though. I get why guys do it.”
I smile to myself and bring the wrapper to my mouth, tearing it open with my teeth as she frees my cock from my boxers. Her small hand wraps around my shaft, and her eyes focus on the arousal leaking from the tip. When she runs her thumb over it, spreading it across my length in a firm stroke, a moan falls from my mouth. I lean into her when her grip tightens.
“This new development,” I say when her hand slows, moving to put the condom on when she takes it and does it for me. “That just for me?”
She grins, sliding her hand up my shirt again, and this time not stopping until I’m forced to lift my arms and let her pull it off. It falls to the ground next to our feet and her lips press to the center of my chest, the glee in her eyes clear when she tilts her head back.
“Would you like that, Cowboy? Me carrying around condoms on the off chance you decide to fuck me?”
“Yeah, Sunny,” I say, my fingers tangling in her hair again to pull her forward. “You know I would. You’re just for me.”
She nods, her eyes simmering with heat.
Nothing is ever going to beat this overwhelming need to please her, to keep that look in her eyes—like maybe she might adore me—forever.
My hand slides up her shirt, pulling it up and over her head to drop on the floor with my shirt before sliding my hands into the back of her jeans and working them down her wide hips. Her hands join me to push them down when I swat them away, getting the fabric out of my way before turning her around.
“Hands on the counter.”
Mischief fills Sonya’s eyes, meeting mine in the mirror as she follows my direction and places her hands a shoulder length apart on the countertop. She leans back into me, shaking her hips and driving me to my own insanity. “So bossy.”
“You like it.”
She hums. “Do I?”
“With how quickly you listen to me?” I ask, gathering her hair to the side to press my lips to her neck. “Yeah, Sunny,” I hum against her skin. “I’m pretty sure you love it.”
“Gonna keep bossing me around, Cowboy?”
I slide my hands over her hips, squeezing her gently as I yank her back towards me. “Eyes on me,” I tell her, waiting for her eyes to meet mine in the mirror. Her knuckles go white around the edge of the counter when I thrust into her. “ Fuck ,” I mutter, sliding my hand down her spine. “Look how well you take me. Like you were made for me.”
“Only you,” she breathes out, her grip on the counter loosening when I lean forward and tangle our fingers together. “Only ever you .”
“That’s right. Just for me.” She leans up on her toes, finding a new angle as I thrust forward. Her fingers curl tighter between mine, her gaze shifting from mine in the mirror downward. “Eyes up, Sunny.”
“Walker,” she whimpers, leaning her head back towards me. My lips find the skin behind her ear, biting down gently. “More. I need more.”
“Tell me what you want, needy girl,” I mumble against her ear, soothing her skin with my lips.
She tilts her head to the side, giving me better access to keep kissing her neck. The idea of leaving my mark on her body, letting people know she’s mine, sends me forward. I find a quicker rhythm, hitting the spot that has her moaning out my name.
A sound I will be committing to memory to replay over and over again till the day I die.
“I need you to touch me,” she pleads, pressing her shoulder back into my chest. “Please.”
Untangling our fingers, I bring my thumb down to her clit. She grinds against my hand once again, her free hand moving to the nape of my neck, and squeezes gently.
“Take what you need, Sunny,” I whisper against her skin. “I’m right here.”
The closer we get to the edge, the more I feel her melt into me. She pants out my name, and the moment she crashes over the edge, a shiver runs down her spine. Thrusting a few more times, I chase after my own bliss and crash against her in a puddle.
Her skin is warm against my lips as I press a kiss to the crook of her neck and pull out, moving to remove the condom and toss it in the trash. A giggle falls from her lips as I straighten out my clothes, and she does the same.
“Well, that was fun.” Her eyes are clear as she adjusts her shirt over her torso, zipping her jeans up and twisting back to the mirror to shake out her hair. “Oh, God. I have sex hair.”
A snicker falls from my lips as I step up behind her, pressing my lips to the side of her head. “It’s almost like you just got fucked in a bar bathroom.”
She grins at me and reaches for the hem of her shirt, adjusting it over the top of her jeans. Turning around to face me, she reaches for my shirt collar and smooths her hands over my shoulders. “Still feeling good?”
I nod my head. “You?”
“Good,” she says, moving her hands up to my cheeks. “Very good. Thank you for getting me out of my head. I don’t know why I freaked out. For a second, I felt like we were getting too blurry with our lines, but you’re here with me. I know you’re here with me.”
The weight I felt fades into nothing as I lean forward, pressing my lips to hers. “I am here,” I whisper, running my thumb over her bottom lip. “You’ve always got me.”
“I know.” She smiles, and the words crack my chest wide open. She steps into me, wrapping her arms around my waist and rests her head against my shoulder. “I’m afraid to go out there.”
“Worried people overheard us?”
“So worried. I’ve given Dylan so much shit for doing exactly this,” she says with a laugh, untangling herself from me to move towards the door.
She’s reaching for the lock when I feel my phone buzz in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I turn it over to see an email reminder from my advisor about the internship selection for the summer, and the pit I’ve been avoiding since starting things with Sonya is back at full force.
I can’t keep putting it off, hoping that the dull ache will fade and I won't have to disappoint my mom from the reality of what I need to do for my future.
“We’re in the clear.”
I lift my head, lock my phone, and slide it back into my pocket before smiling at her. Apparently, I don’t do it fast enough because her eyebrows pull together, but I’m reaching for the door before she can question me.
“Shall we?”
She nods her head, squeezing my side when I step out behind her. The door is just shutting behind me when the hall fills with a slow clap, both of us turning our heads to find Dylan with a massive grin on his face. Sonya all but sinks into me, turning to bury her face against my chest, and I can’t help it—I laugh.
If we were going to get caught, I’m glad it was by Dylan. Even if I have a feeling neither of us is ever going to hear the end of it. At least we’re in this together.