CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SONYA
“You really don’t—”
Walker cuts me off by moving back up my body and pressing his lips to mine, effectively shutting me up. His hands rest on either side of my body, caging me between the mattress and him, and I think I could happily live in this bubble with him forever.
“I believe we’ve already had this conversation,” he says, amusement dancing in his eyes as he leans in until his nose touches mine. “I’m a bit selfish when it comes to you, Sonya Cartelli. I like hearing the sounds you make when I’m between your thighs.” He presses his lips to the underside of my jaw and then to my throat, his teeth scraping along my collarbone.
A whimper slips out, and I feel him smile against my skin. His lips leave a trail from my throat to my belly button, paying attention to each corner of my body like he wants to embroider the feeling of him into every inch so I can never forget. I want to get lost in him and think I could easily do it. He’s worthy of working his way into my chest. And maybe without fully paying attention, I left the door unlocked to let him in.
He presses his lips to my hip bone, slipping his arm under one of my legs to prop it up on his shoulder. His hand slides down my opposite thigh, pushing my legs open wider as he bites down gently on my skin. A cry falls from my lips, my heel pressing into his shoulder blade when he runs his tongue over the bite, soothing it.
I squirm under his hold when he moves to the spot between my legs where I want him most. He runs his tongue over my slit, his grip on my thighs tightening as he pulls me forward.
Nothing could have prepared me for how good Walker Bodie is with his tongue. I keep trying to wrap my head around it, but it never quite latches. Each time I’m taken for a trip around the sun, stars fill my vision and tip me over. He unravels me, and I happily let him.
“Walker,” I whine, his name an echo in my chest.
“Just like that, Sunny girl,” he says, adding a finger to the growing pressure in the pit of my stomach as he works me over to make a meal out of me. I move my hips up, trying to find more friction, and he lets me. I feel it in my toes at first, working all the way up my body as he sends me over the edge. Licking me through my orgasm until I’m a spent puddle on his bed.
I inhale slowly, trying to catch my breath as he presses one last kiss to my thigh and moves to stand up. “Wait,” I say, reaching for him before he can get too far. “Come back.”
“I’ll be right back,” he says, grabbing his clothes from the floor and pulling his boxers and sweats on before heading for his dresser. He opens the top drawer, grabbing a shirt out before turning towards me. “Arms up.”
“Since when do you like me better with clothes?”
He dips down, pressing his lips to mine. “I mean, you’re more than welcome to walk around naked, but just know Flynn will be home eventually, and she likes to walk in unannounced.”
“That must be fun for you,” I say and lift my arms, letting him dress me. His fingertips leave an electric trail along my skin. “She should have to see me naked, and you,” I say, reaching for him again, unable to help myself when he’s right there. “As punishment.”
“We both know that she’d lose her mind if she saw you naked, Sunny,” he says, a knowing look in his eyes. “You are a walking fucking dream.”
I grin at the possessive look that takes over his face. “Oh, you don’t like that very much, do you, Cowboy?” I ask, scooting back to watch him. “Are you jealous of me and Flynn?”
“Are you suggesting you have a thing for my roommate?”
“Flynn? Oh, yeah,” I say, nodding my head. “This whole thing with you and me?” I point between us. “It’s totally just a way to get closer to her. You didn’t know?”
He shakes his head, wrapping his fingers around my ankle, and pulls me forward. “You are such a brat. What am I going to do with you?”
Dragging my finger over the thin line of hair trailing beneath his sweatpants, I dip my fingertip into his waistband. “You’ll probably have to punish me. I do very well with reinforcement in the form of reward.”
“That so?”
I nod my head and pull at the elastic band, hoping he’ll get the message that I want his body weight on me. It’s a comforting presence when my chest grows too tight, and all I need to keep me from spiraling out of control is him surrounding me. To my dismay, he pulls back until my finger is out of his waistband, and he’s lying on the bed next to me.
I push out my bottom lip. “Hey!”
“I believe you promised me a conversation.”
“I was hoping you forgot about that.” I scrunch my nose up.
The hope I had that he wouldn’t bring it back up fades to nothing, because of course, he didn’t forget. He’s Walker. He remembers everything. Especially when it comes to me, particularly when it’s something that upsets me. He’s a fixer and always has been. He wants to make it better.
I just don’t think he can fix all of the idiot men that exist in this world.
“Come on, Sunny.” He taps the side of my thigh, his fingertips rubbing over my skin until his hand is wrapped gently around the inside. “Talk to me.”
“There’s this guy in a few of my classes. His name is Topher, and he found out that I’m changing my project, and he made sure I knew I couldn’t use my body forever.” My chest tightens a little further at the reminder of his words. “Which is so fucking stupid, and I know he’s like this, so I don’t even know why I’m upset right now but reducing me down to my body? It’s not fair because, according to him, I can’t possibly be intelligent and pretty.”
A frown presses to his lip, absorbing my words. “You know that’s not true, right? You are by far one of the smartest people I know,” he says, running his finger over the top of my ear to tuck some of my hair back before dragging the heel of his hand down my jaw. “Scratch that.” He leans in, his forehead touching mine. “You are the smartest person I know.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m sleeping with you.”
“No, I’m saying that because it’s the truth.” He slips his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, brushing his thumb now the length of my neck. “The sex is just a bonus.”
“Thank you for saying that. I know I’m smart.” A weak laugh falls from my lips. “I mean, I have one of the highest GPAs in the program, and Professor Andrews even said she thought I had the drive to earn this huge opportunity. I just…it sucks, you know? That I have to put up with comments like that. That he thinks it’s okay to say something like that to me because I’m a woman. He would never say that to a man.” I swallow the pain in my throat, knowing that this frustration I feel is always going to be a weight following me around. It’s going to hook on and try to anchor me down, to drown me. “It’s not fair.”
“It’s not, but it won’t be like that forever, Sunny,” he says, leaning on his side. “One day, it won’t be so hard.”
I turn on my side to face him, slowly walking my fingers up his chest and over his collarbones. “That’s a sweet sentiment, but you and I both know that it’s not true,” I say, my chest loosening with the acceptance. “It’s going to take a lot more than some mean words to take me down, though, even if I’m a little in my feelings about it right now.”
“You’re allowed to be in your feelings with me.” He trails his fingers over my skin, fingers curling around the back of my neck and squeezing gently. “You’re safe here. With me.”
“I know.” Reaching up, I trail my fingers along his bottom lip and drag my finger down, my fingertip hitting his teeth, and his lips curl up slightly as he bites down gently on it. “I’ve always known that, Cowboy,” I say, scooting towards him. “You’re my safe place.”
His hand moves over my hip, bunching up the fabric of his shirt on my body as he pulls me forward, and there’s something gentle about the way he does it. His body a cradle to mine, his warmth seeping into my skin and wrapping me in a bubble. It’s not one I ever wish to leave. I want to be here with him forever. I’m sure of it at this very moment that there is nowhere I would rather be than in the safety of his arms.
And that scares me in a way I’ve never felt. This utter desire I have to always be near him, the way I crave him more and more every day. It’s new terrain to travel, and maybe that means I should get off this ride.
We said we’d be honest with each other, and I should be about this. That things have begun to shift and turn and take new shape. Shapes neither of us have faced together before, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m not ready to stop this with him, and I worry by being honest, by telling him the truth, that he might tell me we have to stop. Our friendship is too important to keep going, to keep chancing it, knowing the kindling for change is right there on the edge, just waiting to ignite.
I want to be a little greedy. To soak in more of this before we have to draw a finish line and put an end to something really great.
“Sunny,” he whispers, pressing a small kiss to my lips and tangling his fingers in my hair again. Something I’ve grown to love so desperately. Especially when his thumb darts over my pulse point as if he’s checking to make sure I’m real. “Where’d you go?”
“Right here.” I lean forward and kiss his collarbone, his fingers curling tighter against my side, and just as I’m about to climb into his lap for the second time tonight, his phone starts ringing on the nightstand. His attention falls away from me as he sits up to grab it, a soft sigh filling the room when he ignores the call, but not before I catch the picture of him and his mom on the screen. “Walker,” I say, squeezing his elbow when I see the crease between his brows. “You know you’re safe to be in your feelings with me, too.”
His lips press together, setting his phone face down after turning it off. He falls back into the mattress, pressing his hand to his abdomen. “I…” he trails off, blowing out a quick breath.
“Why are you ignoring your mom?”
“I’m not—”
“Walker.” I sit up and climb into his lap, giving him something to focus on as my knees press into his hips and my hands run up his chest. “Talk to me.”
He runs his fingers into his hair, pulling at the ends. I slide my hands up his triceps, untangling his fingers from the dark locks to tangle our fingers together. “I accidentally told her I’m coming home for the summer to work in our town lawyer’s office.”
“But you aren’t.”
Swallowing, he pulls my arm forward over his shoulder and untangles our fingers to slide his up my thighs and under the hem of my shirt. He trails up to the small of my back, dragging his finger down. “I’ve already worked out a list for other internships with my advisor here in Michigan,” he says, drawing circles over my skin.
For a single second, I let hope bloom that the reason he’s staying is me. I know it’s not, that it would be insane of me to think so, but for one second, I let myself believe it. I let myself balance on the idea that we could be more.
Loosely draping my arms over his shoulder, my fingertips trail up his back until my fingers are tangled in his hair. “I’m guessing she doesn’t know about that.”
“I brought it up earlier, but before I could tell her the truth, she had to end our call abruptly,” he says, squeezing my hips. “The same way she did when I accidentally agreed, and now I can’t bring myself to.” He takes a pause, and I let him sit in his feelings, slowly running my fingers through the ends of his curls. “It’s going to break her heart, Sunny. I can’t do it.”
“I don’t think it will.” I move my hands to hold his face between my hands, his stubble making the tender skin of my palms tickle. “She loves you, Walker. She just wants you to be happy, whether that’s in Georgia or here. It won’t matter. You just have to be honest with her.”
He leans forward, pressing his forehead to my chest. “That’s easier said than done.”
I trail my fingertips down his back, his skin warm against mine. “You know, it doesn’t have to be so scary, Cowboy,” I whisper, smiling when I feel him chuckle against my chest. “I’ll even hold your hand through it.”
Lifting his head, he smiles. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Safe place.”
He presses his lips to the hollow of my throat and then my chin before his fingers trail over my back, pulling me flush to his chest. “Safe place, Sunny. It’s always been with you,” he whispers, pressing his lips to the space above my heart. “Always.”