Chapter 18
The worst thing was the tiredness. Not the pain, or the worry about what might happen to him in the future, but the all-consuming exhaustion which came over him in waves. Even brushing his teeth seemed to require superhuman effort.
And along with the tiredness, right up there near the top of the list, next to his feelings about Adam, and to a lesser extent Sofia, were his feelings about Peg.
Despite what he’d been told – that he’d crashed his car on Christmas morning, just outside her village – that sequence of events didn’t marry with his recollection of what had happened on that day at all.
And yet his car was a wreck and currently residing at a local garage.
Trying to resolve that conundrum made his head hurt more than ever.
And now he was on his way to Peg’s house, to ‘recuperate’, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that either.
He’d been discharged from the hospital with a long list of things he could and couldn’t do – the couldn’t do side of things very much longer than the positive one – and an array of outpatient appointments for various checks and follow-ups.
Being logical about the situation, he could see that going home to Stoke wasn’t an immediate option, but he was sitting in the passenger seat of his son’s car with Sofia in the back, and given that they were his family, he had thought he’d be going back to their house. Evidently, this was not to be.
Henry stared out of the window at the passing scenery. There was much to think about, but he closed his eyes briefly before taking in a deep, slow breath. All that could come later. For now he would marvel that the sun was still shining, just as it had been on Christmas morning…
They were only a couple of minutes away from Peg’s house now, the road beginning to look increasingly familiar, and he realised he’d been scanning the tree-lined hedges for any signs of where he’d come to such an abrupt halt.
He found it, less than a minute later – a straggly end of blue police tape fluttering in the breeze all that was left to mark the spot where his car had veered off the road.
He turned his gaze away. That there was proof of what had happened still didn’t make it feel real.
Peg must have been waiting by the door, because she opened it seconds after Adam knocked.
And then there she was, just as Henry remembered.
It seemed as if several months had gone by since he’d last seen her when, in fact, it had only been…
He tried to count the number of days in his head but he couldn’t.
Her hair was still in plaits and he smiled at the memory of her sitting opposite him beside the fire on Christmas Day, one plait hanging down over her shoulder and the other, flung backwards.
She had on a different dress today though.
Similar style… He wasn’t sure what you called them – a smock, maybe?
– with a rounded neck, loose waist and a long, wide skirt beneath.
Pink fluffy socks poked out of the bottom.
‘Henry…’ said Peg, holding him lightly by the arms to kiss his cheek. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’
Henry nodded.
‘Come in, all of you, there’s a bitter wind today.’
Henry stepped inside, directly into her kitchen, a warm and welcoming space, although darker than he remembered.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes, it’s just…’ He looked around him again.
Everything was the same, yet different. There was a pine table in the middle of the kitchen, but it was a different-coloured wood than he’d remembered.
There were beams running in parallel lines across the ceiling but although some holly hung there, there wasn’t nearly as much of it as he thought there would be.
And the Aga… There was some sort of cooker against one wall, but it was green, not blue.
He swallowed. ‘You had a shelf across the window there,’ he said, pointing. ‘Filled with coloured glass.’
‘Did I?’ Peg smiled. ‘Shall I take your coat, Henry?’
Henry laid a hand against the table to steady himself. ‘Thank you, I…’ But he didn’t finish the sentence; he didn’t know what to say.
Adam held up the bag he’d been carrying. ‘Shall I take this upstairs?’ he asked.
‘No, just pop it down there,’ replied Peg. ‘I’ll take it up later.’
Adam pulled out a chair and set the bag down. He cleared his throat. ‘I’ll leave it here, out of the way.’
Everyone smiled again as an awkward silence began to grow.
Not that he had any such memories, but Henry felt as he imagined an evacuee might – dropped off at a house in the country with a small bag containing all his worldly goods.
He certainly felt like a child. Adam helped him out of his coat and he winced as the movement pulled against his stitches.
He wouldn’t have been at all surprised to find a label tied around his neck.
‘Come and sit down,’ said Peg. ‘I’ve made some sandwiches. I wasn’t sure whether you would have had lunch yet.’
Sofia wrinkled her nose. ‘Plastic ham,’ she said. ‘That’s all they had, wasn’t it, Henry?’
He shook his head a little. ‘But that was only because I told them not to worry about me,’ he said. ‘I could have had a proper dinner if I wanted.’
Sofia smiled. ‘The consultant was later than expected,’ she explained. ‘So they found a sandwich for Henry while we were waiting.’
Peg nodded. ‘Well, I’ll put them on the table and you can help yourselves, or not, whatever you want. The girls will be back soon and they’ll make short work of any that get left.’
Henry struggled to remember. ‘That’s Izzy and… Phoebe, right?’
‘Mmm. They’ve gone for a walk with Blanche and Mim. I thought it might be better if we weren’t all, you know… crowding round. It might be a bit much.’
‘Good idea,’ said Adam. ‘We didn’t think we’d stay too long ourselves. Not today. Just let you get settled in, Dad, and then we thought we’d come and see you tomorrow. Properly. If that’s all right?’ He looked to Peg for guidance.
‘Come whenever you like,’ she said.
‘Only there are a few things we ought to talk about.’
‘Don’t worry your dad with those now, Adam,’ said Sofia.
‘I wasn’t going to,’ he replied. ‘That’s why I said we’d come tomorrow…’ He gave a tight smile. ‘But we’ll wait until Blanche gets back, obviously. Then we can drop her home. She doesn’t usually stay with us much beyond Boxing Day, so…’
‘Oh,’ replied Peg, ‘I’ve made plans for dinner. I kind of assumed she’d be staying today, I don’t know why…’ She frowned. ‘Never mind… I’m happy to drop her home later, if that’s better for you?’
Sofia shot Adam a look. ‘Well, that’s very kind. Um… Shall we see what Blanche wants to do? If you’re sure you don’t mind?’
Peg shook her head. ‘I don’t.’
‘Well, in that case… I hope Mum’s been behaving herself,’ said Sofia.
‘Oh, she’s been the model house guest,’ replied Peg. ‘I shall miss her, actually. So will Mim. But I’ve told her to come and visit as often as she likes. I’m not sure how long Mim will be staying with me, but it will be a few weeks at least.’
‘And now you have two invalids,’ said Henry.
Peg smiled. ‘Don’t go calling Mim that, she’ll have your guts for garters. Besides, you’re not an invalid either. I shall be putting you to work on the vegetable patch as soon as you’re able. That was a joke,’ she added quickly, seeing Sofia’s look of alarm.
Henry sat down. He wasn’t sure what else to do.
‘I’ll get the sandwiches,’ said Peg, scuttling across to the fridge. ‘There are still mince pies left too, if you can bear it.’
Fifteen minutes later, Adam and Sofia left, before the others had even arrived back.
Not a drop of tea was drunk, nor a bite of a sandwich taken.
Henry wasn’t sure what he’d expected, really.
Adam and Sofia were tired, he understood that.
And he’d totally ruined their Christmas.
He imagined they’d be quite glad of some time to themselves.
Peg closed the door and plonked herself down in the seat opposite him.
‘Was that the most hideously awkward thing ever, or is it just me?’ She smiled, reaching for a sandwich.
A snort exploded from Henry’s mouth before he could stop it. ‘Oh God, wasn’t it?’ He grinned. ‘I shouldn’t find it funny, but…’
‘If you don’t, you’ll cry?’ supplied Peg. She pushed the plate of sandwiches nearer. ‘And relax…’
Henry could feel it. The moment she said it, it was as if all the tension left his body – like a balloon deflating, only without the accompanying high-pitched shriek.
Although he knew without a doubt that Peg would have found that funny, too.
God, he was starving. He picked up a sandwich and took a huge bite, savouring the food, which actually tasted of something.
‘Not cheese and beetroot today, then?’
‘We can have those tomorrow,’ said Peg.
A companionable silence lengthened as they both ate, and it was just like he remembered.
‘Thank you,’ he said, after a few more minutes. ‘These are so lovely. After hospital food, this is a veritable feast.’
She pulled a face. ‘You missed your Christmas dinner,’ she said.
‘So did you.’
Peg nodded. ‘True… but there’ll be others.
Which is the most important thing. Two days ago it didn’t look as if you’d see another one.
’ She paused for a moment. ‘And can I just say, before the others get back, that if you staying here is going to work, I want you to know that there are no expectations. And I need you to be honest about how you’re feeling.
If you want to sleep, sleep. Whether that’s in a chair beside the fire, or upstairs in your room.
Similarly, when you’ve had enough chat, say so.
I know how exhausting that can be when you don’t feel well.
Basically… just be as you would in your own home.
I don’t intend to “care” for you while you’re here, because I’m not sure that’s what’s needed, but also because if I did that to Mim, she’d never talk to me again.
And I also have things I need to do, and like to do, and while you are absolutely not in the way – please don’t ever think that – I want things to be…
normal and not in the slightest bit weird.
’ She finished in a rush, screwing up her face.
‘Sorry, is that okay? I wasn’t sure how to put it. ’
Henry smiled and reached for a mince pie. ‘All things considered… I think that’s absolutely the best possible thing you could have said.’
The others arrived back just as they were finishing their meal, bursting through the door mid-conversation. Henry got to his feet, suddenly nervous that they would find him lacking.
Blanche was the first to come forward, her smile warm and her hug gentle.
‘I’d like to give you a much bigger squish,’ she said. ‘But I’m scared I’m going to hurt you.’
‘I’ll take a rain check for now,’ Henry replied, patting his side. ‘And, as soon as I can, I’ll come and claim it.’
Henry turned his attention to Mim, the woman he thought had died. Her wrist was in plaster, but other than that, there was evidently plenty of spark left in her. He could see it shining from her eyes, from her wind-burnished cheeks, and in the mischievous grin she gave him.
‘I can’t even shake your hand,’ she said. ‘But I’m pleased to meet you.’
‘I’m very pleased to meet you too,’ he said, holding back the question he wanted to ask. He offered an elbow. ‘Isn’t that what we do these days when we can’t shake hands?’
Mim offered her elbow in return and they bumped them gently together, laughing.
And finally, there were Peg’s daughters – one tall, with dark hair and piercing blue eyes the same as Peg, and one slightly shorter, still with blue eyes, but softer, almost grey in colour and with honey-blonde hair.
The two girls were alike facially, but that’s where all similarity ended, and he knew instinctively what Peg’s husband must have looked like.
The taller of the two gave him a warm smile. ‘I’m Izzy,’ she said. ‘We’ve heard a lot about you.’
‘I’m sure you have,’ replied Henry. ‘And I’m sorry I’ve caused your mum so much upset and upheaval. I don’t plan on making a habit of it, believe me. But it’s nice to finally meet you, Izzy. I’ve heard a lot about you too. And Phoebe, of course.’
He smiled at Izzy’s sister, who returned it, only shyer and not quite as wide.
There were no kisses from these two, or hugs as yet, gentle or otherwise, but that was okay. These were Peg’s girls, her protectors. They weren’t going to welcome him in wholesale, not until they’d got a better measure of him.
‘Sofia’s gone then, I see,’ said Blanche. ‘And Adam?’
Peg cleared her throat. ‘Yes, I think… there was some talk about you going back with them so they could drop you home, but I mentioned I’d already asked you to stay for dinner so…
I hope that was okay? I’m happy to take you home myself though, if…
’ She trailed off, seeing, as they all could, the vociferous shaking of Blanche’s head.
‘I’m certainly not passing up the opportunity to have dinner with you all,’ she said. ‘And I wouldn’t dream of asking you to ferry me about. Sofia can come and fetch me tomorrow. That is, if they plan on coming to see you then, Henry? I do hope so.’
He nodded. ‘I believe so,’ he replied. ‘They’re letting me settle in first. Don’t want to overwhelm me on my first day out of hospital.’
Blanche narrowed her eyes. ‘Good,’ she said, although Henry wasn’t sure which part she was referring to.
‘Well, that’s a relief. And I think you staying here is for the best all round.
Not being funny, Henry, but could you honestly see yourself staying with Adam?
The couple of days before Christmas were enough to drive you over the edge—’ She broke off.
‘Sorry, that was a bad choice of words. But being serious for a minute, going back home is not an option. At least, not for a few weeks yet – the hospital still needs to monitor you. And you need to be somewhere you can relax and recuperate. Not become so stressed that your head explodes.’
‘Blanche, you have such a way with words.’