Chapter 11 Hayden
eleven
Hayden
There are voices all around me, but all I hear is the scrape of metal scraping on metal. I flick the lighter in my hand open. With the twitch of my wrist it closes again.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
The empty lighter was the one thing West was able to get Brooks to agree to let me have to manage my "impulse control."
I mean, I still want to set shit on fire, but…slightly less.
When dear old Dad found out though…well, he told me the lighter he was sending me would be the only one I'd be allowed to touch. My thumb runs over the two words engraved on the side.
"Your Choice".
As if I needed a fucking engraving to remind me of that.
He never calls, he never checks in, but the second something he wants is on the line…that's when he makes himself known.
Not that I'm surprised, but still.
I can't even blame him. Don't get me wrong, I never tried to hurt anyone. But sometimes…sometimes the darkness takes over. The itch in my fingers that won’t go away until I see the flames rise.
Sometimes it's boredom, sometimes it's stress, but all I know is that every time the flames rise higher, and I watch the destruction of whatever it is—a junkyard car, a shirt I hate, or hell, a balled up piece of newspaper, a wave of euphoria like I've never known takes over, and I feel lighter than air.
The noise in my head finally stops.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
They have me on some kind of medication that's supposed to help with…something. Fuck, I don't know, I'm not a damn doctor.
My eyes scan the courtyard, looking for the little omega that's been haunting my dreams the last two days.
I could almost kick myself for missing the little show I heard about this morning.
I don't know why, but apparently Ms. Josephine Harding was walking naked down the hall in the early morning hours.
Then I didn't see her at lunch today…not that I was looking.
Nope. That would make me desperate. Desperate to see the way her crimson hair surrounds her gorgeous face like a damn halo of fire.
Fuck. Maybe I am desperate.
It was enough to have her run literally straight into me last night after dinner, but that haunted look in her eyes killed any boner that had started when her soft curves pressed briefly against my body. I had counted it as a win though, getting her to laugh.
But I still want to know what put that look there in the first place.
I had heard her before, in the game room with some other girls. I was holed up in the corner, hiding from fucking Tilly, when she started asking about omegas. Then she disappeared, only to run into me with that terrified look on her face. I don’t think it’s unrelated.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
My eyes flutter closed, and I breathe out through my nose.
"Useless!" Dad screams at me, taking the glass decanter off his desk and hurling it at the wall.
Shards of glass rain down, one slicing my cheek.
"Fucking piece of shit! You've ruined everything!
" My heart pounds so hard my vision starts to go fuzzy.
The itching in my fingers only gets worse the longer he yells.
"Father—" I try my best to keep my voice level.
"Do you realize what you've done? You need to fix this, Hayden!"
"I'm not going to marry someone I don't know. You can't just tell me to come downstairs and spring an engagement party on me when I've never even met the girl."
"I will do whatever the fuck I want!" His face is turning purple.
"Because I am in charge of this fucking family, and I say you will marry Melina Giovanni!
Her father and I have already made the deal!
I have too much riding on this for you to fuck it up like you do everything else in your miserable life! "
My fingers itch, the tension crackling just under my skin. He slams a fist into my gut and I drop to my knees, clutching my stomach.
I don't see him leave, but I hear the sound of the door slamming shut and my gaze falls to the crackling fireplace. The flames dance in front of me, taunting me, refusing to provide the relief I so desperately crave.
Open.
Close.
Open.
Close.
His words echo in my mind. Failure. Disappointment. Pathetic. Useless.
Helpless.
"Oh, there you are Lars. I was startin' to worry about you." The little fireball's sweet voice snaps me out of my flashback, and my eyes immediately find her, sitting against a tree in the courtyard with a book in her lap.
She's looking up at Lars fucking Devereaux with the same vicious smile she gave Paige before introducing the lunch table to her face. Repeatedly.
Gods, it was hot as fuck to watch.
He towers over her, and she doesn't even stand.
Just stays on her cute little ass under the tree.
Part of me wants to go over there and tell him to fuck off, but the other part?
The one that got hard as a rock watching her put Paige Lawson in her place?
Yeah, that guy wants to see what happens next.
"You put me in the fucking hospital, you little bitch—"
Her eyes go wide as she places a hand on her chest in shock. Her accent gets even thicker as she blinks up innocently at him. "Why, sir! I have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout. I'm just a little omega. How could I possibly put you in the hospital?"
He grits his teeth. "Don't act so innocent. We all know you've murdered twelve alphas."
"Thirteen." She smiles sweetly.
Fuck. What is it about her?
"Also, Lars, Sweetheart," she drawls, and I grind my teeth at the word sweetheart.
Logically, I'm aware that she's being condescending as fuck, but my alpha hindbrain doesn't like it.
"I wonder what you expected to happen when you attempted to strangle an omega who, as you just pointed out, has taken the lives of thirteen abusive, predatory, narcissistic assholes such as yourself?
Kinda seems like a…what do you call it?" She puts her finger on her chin.
"Ah. A 'fuck around and find out' situation, don't you think? "
Also…what the fuck? He tried to strangle her?
I have my theories about how the little fireball had murdered so many alphas and lived to tell about it—because honestly, physically, alphas have every advantage—from drugging to manipulation, I had gone through every possibility. But she put Lars in the hospital?
Before he can answer her, Jo's arm shoots up and between his legs, and Lars stiffens.
I don't know how it happens, but I'm halfway across the courtyard when she says something quietly to him, and he glowers down at her before turning on his heel and walking away.
That's when I see the glint of a knife being put back in her pocket and my brows shoot up. Damn. Jojo doesn't mess around.
Her eyes find me and my steps stall, realizing that I'm now awkwardly between my regular bench and her. She arches a brow at me, and I find myself grinning, continuing my steps until I plop down on the grass next to her. "Jojo."
There's a flicker of something that looks an awful lot like pain on her face before she huffs. Shit.
“Not Jojo?” I venture, feeling like maybe I drew up a bad memory.
“My sister calls me that,” she says, sounding like she would rather talk about anything else.
“Well, I really don’t need you subconsciously associating me with your sibling, so definitely not Jojo.”
“Oh?” She asks, sounding intrigued. “And why would that be?”
I grin at her. “There’s nothing sibling-like about the effect you have on me.”
"Well, you did tell me that my insults were gettin’ you hard, so I shouldn’t be too surprised." She smirks, and it's a good look on her.
"Would you rather I lied?" I grin, crossing my legs in front of me. "I can't help it, Fireball. There's just something about you."
She ignores me, opening her book to a dog-eared page. I immediately recognize it as one of Dr. West's.
"Whatchya readin'?"
"None of your business." She sniffs, her eyes never leaving the page.
I can't help myself, I lean over until I'm practically blocking her view of her own book, trying to read the words. I know I'm not really annoying her, because if I was, that knife she just threatened Lars with would be held against me right now.
Should I be worried that it's specifically alphas that she's murdered, and I just so happen to be an alpha?
Eh, probably. But I've always been a "let's just see what happens" kind of guy.
She huffs. "Hayden—"
"Oh hey, I've read this one." I turn my head to look at her, only to realize I'm about three inches away from her face.
Her green eyes dance with amusement, even if she's trying not to smile.
Suddenly, I want to know what they would look like, reflecting fire in their depths.
Would she become entranced, just like me?
There's a waft of a scent that smells suspiciously like apple pie with a big ol' spoonful of vanilla ice cream on top, and then my eyes are darting down further, where she has the top two buttons of her jumpsuit undone—
A noise that I unfortunately can only describe as a girlish squeal leaves me as a little tiny head pokes its way out of her cleavage, and I scramble backwards, falling flat on my back.
"Jo, you—" I'm about to tell her she has a fucking rat in her tits, and the omega starts laughing at me.
She’s laughing so hard that tears stream down her face, and her book lays forgotten on the grass next to her as she clutches her stomach.
I stare, slack-jawed, as the omega laughs at my expense, and the rodent climbs out of her jumpsuit to stand on her leg, propped up on its hind legs. It has a fucking collar on.
"Aw, don't be scared, Darlin'," she chuckles, wiping her eyes. "It's just Turnip."
Turnip?
The rat chitters as if in agreement, and I look between the two of them. "How…"
"Oh, damn I needed that," she sighs, wiping the last tear from her eyes. "Turnip isn't some dirty sewer rat. She's a pet or something, and she came to me through the air vent in my room."
I stiffen when Turnip leaves Jo's leg, and comes closer, her whiskers twitching as she sniffs me. I try not to scramble away further as it climbs onto my leg.
"Aw, she likes you," Jo coos, smiling at me as the little vermin climbs onto my shoulder.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
"Great." I give a pained smile as Turnip rubs her furry cheek on mine. It actually feels kind of…nice.
Jo's head tilts. "Huh. She really likes you."
Turnip climbs down my arm, and I summon the courage to hold out my hand to her. She gets on it like we've done this a million times, and I lift it so she's eye level with me.
"Hey there, Turnip." Her whiskers twitch again, and she tilts her head, not unlike Jo did a second ago. Her beady eyes aren't that scary, I guess. And she is kind of cute.
Then I set her down, and she scurries back over to Jo, before disappearing into her pocket.
Even though I'm not afraid of her anymore, my shoulders relax slightly when the rat disappears from view. "Sorry," Jo says with a smile, grabbing her book. "Turnip likes to nap up there when I'm sat down like this."
I frown at her. "I'm the one who came over here, you don't have to apologize for that. Or anything."
"Anything?" She arches a brow at me. "So if you get on my bad side and I stab you, I don't need to apologize?"
"Fireball, if you stab me, I probably deserve it." I cross my legs and lean forward as I wink. "And I'll be doing everything I can to stay on your good side."
"That implies you're on it to begin with, Crazy Boy." She smirks.
"Oh, I'm on it, alright." I grin, putting my hands in the grass behind me.
"How d'you figure?"
"Well, number one, I have a feeling that Turnip's opinion on things carries a lot of weight. And number two, if I wasn't on your good side, you would have already warned me off with that knife in your pocket."
"Touché." She smiles at me then, a real, genuine smile that makes my heart feel like it's going to burst into flames. Then, it's like she catches herself, and the shutters come back down.
The book is back in her hands a second later, but I just stay there, a dopey smile on my face.
"Hayden," her voice is back to that poisoned honey as she looks down at her book, "was there somethin' you needed from me? Or were you just lookin' for someone to irritate? 'Cause if it's the latter, I have a list of people who deserve it."
Right. The whole reason I was looking for her. Might as well spit it out.
"I heard you yesterday."
Her gaze shoots up, and she assesses me carefully. "Heard me…when?"
"In the game room. Asking the girls about other omegas."
Her expression turns carefully calm. "And?"
"And…well I don't know if it means anything, but…if there are other omegas here, I think I know where they could be."