Chapter 37
NASH
This is the one event on the calendar I’ve circled ever since I heard about A Dickens Christmas—December 23rd—the Fezziwig’s Christmas Ball, just like in A Christmas Carol— but Skaneateles style.
You dress up. You dance. You fall in love.
At least, that’s how I’m hoping the night goes. But Sadie has been standoffish the last few day, ever since the night we fell in the lake, and even more so when I told her we wanted to have a baby. I don’t know if it’s all connected or if there’s something more going on. I just know every wall and guard that I’ve been working to tear down has been raised again.
But I’m holding my breath, hoping for the best tonight.
“My lady.” I bow, kissing Sadie’s knuckles as I help her out of the car.
Her lips lift, but it’s not a smile. Not really.
“Shall we?” I offer her my arm, and she loops her hand through.
“Are you going to talk in Victorian-style language all night?”
“I doubt it, since I don’t know anything else besides what I’ve already said. Wait.” I hold my finger up as another word pops into my head. I lean in closer, whispering into her ear. “You look ravishing tonight.”
That gets a lip twitch. Not a full smile or a laugh. But at least there was a twitch.
Sadie does look ravishing in her fitted maroon off-the-shoulder dress.
“You’re the most beautiful woman here.”
She eyes me. “Thanks. You look nice too.”
“At least this time, I’m in a suit and tie instead of a flannel button-up.” I hold the door open for her. English-style music plays loudly, and stomps and shuffles scrape across the wood floor as groups learn a new dance.
“This looks fun.” I glance around the room, taking in the Christmas garland and giant red bows.
“There’s Annie and my parents.”
It’s not until we start walking toward them that I see Stetson and the pretty blonde beside him. She’s not as beautiful as my wife, but she seems nice enough.
Sadie’s feet trip up. I glance down to see if she stepped on her dress or something, but when my eyes lift, I follow her gaze to Stetson and his date, and I know the reason for her falter.
I press my hand against the small of her back, coaxing her forward again until we join the circle of Bradleys and Roeshines.
“What a party, huh?” I say in an effort to shatter the tenseness I know she feels.
“Oh, Sadie, you look absolutely lovely,” Stetson’s mom gushes.
“Thank you.” She smiles as her eyes drift to Stetson.
“This is Savannah.” He gestures to the woman beside him. “And this is Nash and Sadie.”
“It’s so nice to meet you.” Savannah extends her hand, and I visibly see the moment Sadie masks the unrest she feels, replacing it with a smile.
“Same to you.”
“Savvy and I are going to hit the dance floor. We’ll talk to you all later.”
“Do you want to dance?” I ask, trying to pull Sadie’s attention back to me.
“Not right now.” She shakes her head, eyes darting in Stetson’s direction before returning. “I think I’ll just sit at a table.”
“I’d love to dance,” Lynette speaks up.
“I would too,” Annie says.
“Will you do me the honors?” I hold my hand out to my mother-in-law as I smile at Sadie, proud of myself for coming up with another old-fashioned saying, but she doesn’t notice. She focuses on the dance floor and the couple swinging in and out.
“I’d love to!” Lynette puts her hand in mine, glancing back over her shoulder. “Jay, you’ll dance with Annie, won’t you?”
“Of course.”
“You’ll be okay by yourself?” I hesitate, wanting to make sure Sadie doesn’t feel abandoned.
“Yep.” She smiles.
Something tells me Sadie doesn’t need anyone to keep her company. She seems pretty preoccupied with Stetson and his date.
SADIE
“Do you mind if I join you?” Stetson asks, pulling out the chair beside me.
I lost track of him and Savvy twenty minutes ago. I honestly thought they left.
“Where’s Savannah?” My eyes follow his broad shoulders as he takes a seat.
“She’s dancing with her little brother.”
“She’s beautiful. I’m happy for you both.” Biggest lie I’ve ever said . Actually, I wasn’t lying about the part where I said she was beautiful, because she is.
“You’re not happy.” He smirks. “I can see it all over your face.”
“Are you happy for me and Nash?”
His eyes flick to the dance floor, where Nash stomps around in a circle, holding hands. “No, but I can answer yes if you want me to.”
I should tell him to lie like I did, put a final stamp on my heart that everything between us is over, but I don’t.
“Do you remember the one Fezziwig’s Ball we went to?”
“How could I forget? You shoved your tongue down my throat in the coat closet. I didn’t know people could kiss like that. It totally freaked me out.”
He laughs. “I wasn’t very smooth back then.”
“And are you now?” My gaze holds his.
“I thought so until you left me for another guy.”
Everything about me plummets. “I’m so sorry I did that to you.”
“You don’t have to apologize. Like I said the other night, I could’ve done things differently. I should have put you first more instead of taking for granted that you’d always be there.”
“Regrets are the worst, aren’t they?” I blow out a breath, feeling the weight of so many decisions I don’t remember making but still regret.
“You know what I really regret?” He smiles. “That I didn’t dance with you that night at the ball.”
“You were too worried about setting up our kiss in the coat closet.”
“I guess so.” His eyes stare into mine, and like it’s fate, the music changes—violins playing something slow. Stetson holds out his hand. “Should we rewrite history?”
There’s nothing I’ve wanted more since I woke up from my coma.
I slip my hand in his, letting him pull me to my feet and out to the dance floor. One hand goes to my waist as the other holds mine in the air between us. I place my fingers on his shoulder, barely touching him. Slowly, he waltzes us around the dance floor.
I’ve danced with Stetson at every school dance since I was a teenager. We didn’t typically dance like this, but the whole thing feels natural and familiar—something I’ve been missing the last few weeks.
As the music continues, his hold around my waist gets tighter, and our bodies effortlessly move closer, our chests skimming each other. I should look away from his blue eyes, but I can’t. His stare stirs up feelings that I want to feel.
“Hey, man.” Nash taps Stetson’s shoulder. “That’s my wife.”
The entire room can probably hear my racing heart over the music as I glance between the only two men who have ever owned my heart.
Nash steps forward, exuding confidence and territorial claim. “I’m cutting in.”
“Of course.” Stetson drops his arms, stepping back from my body. He gestures to me. “She’s all yours.”
And it’s those exact words that break my heart as Stetson walks away.