Chapter 35
Why does no one take me seriously?
There seems to be this pervasive idea that because I’m smiley and light-hearted, nothing fazes me. That I don’t care how things turn out, I’m along for the ride.
I do care.
It’s why I’m so fucking furious that no one is listening to me about being the next to take Alex on a date. Why shouldn’t it be me? She and I connected when she was in the shower. I want to continue nurturing that budding bond.
I want her to see everything I have to offer her as her Alpha—a safe place to land, a comfort, and a friend.
And I’ve got a great fucking idea for a date. I’m going to take her to the goddamn spa. She’s had such a hard go of things, predating arriving here, and she deserves to be pampered and to relax.
We don’t make a ton of money doing what we do, obviously. Circus shit is for the love of it. But I’ve got enough put aside that I can dig into. It’ll be more than worth it to see what she looks like when she’s calm and relaxed.
Quinton is yelling at Jude, both of them so fucking furious that they can’t see straight, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t feel much better off than they look. And when Dexter stops me from sneaking out to go to her, it may be the final straw that breaks my back.
“Of course, I said I’d try! What does that have anything to do with you going over there and begging for her bite?”
“Because you’re fucking selfish! You say that you’re going to try, but you’re stopping me from going over there and developing a relationship with her.
With our Omega! You can spit the words all you want, but it’s clear you don’t really want me to win her over or you’d let me do this!
” I shove my brother’s chest, and he stumbles backward, eyes wide in shock.
I’ve never put my hands on him, not like this.
“Dario,” he hisses, eyes narrowed. “I love you, brother, but don’t fucking push me.”
I shove him again.
“Why not, huh? You like to torture yourself, right? That’s why you’re ignoring the pull Alex has on you.
Because you think you deserve to suffer for some unknown fucking reason!
Some misguided notion that if you pretend all Omegas are dangerous pieces of shit like Dad, you’ll be safer?
Safer from what? Joy? Love? Affection?” Sweat beads on my brow, and I can tell my heart rate has increased dramatically.
If I had my wits about me, I’d probably start making connections and figuring out what is happening, but I don’t, so I keep pushing.
“You love to blame it on Dad, saying that because he was a violent Omega, that means none can be trusted. But it’s not Dad holding you back. It’s you. You’re too fucking chickenshit to be vulnerable in front of someone.”
Matteo’s voice rises above the din of Jude and Quinton’s argument. “You don’t mean that, Dario. Maybe stop for a moment and think about what you’re saying. Dex is your brother, and you love him.”
“I do believe it!” I snap. “I have done everything for you, Dex. For our entire lives, I have protected you and looked out for you. Put you first. And the one thing, the one thing , I want, you’re bound and determined to keep from me.
I am going to lose her, and it’ll be your fault. And I will never forgive you.”
Dexter cracks, the anger I saw simmering beneath the surface breaking into pieces and leaving tears in its wake.
And still, I can’t stop.
Why can’t I stop?
“How do you think this is going to end? That we’re just going to wave goodbye at the end of her contract and let her run off to be found by that cunt that abused her? Did you really think we would just let her go? What was your plan, Dex? To hope all of us pick you over her?”
He finally speaks, his voice shaky and bruised. “Is it too much to ask that my brother pick me over an Omega he barely knows?”
“I pick you over everything!” I roar, lunging for him.
“Everything!” My body makes contact with his, and we fall to the floor of the trailer.
He lies limp beneath me, no fight within him, as I pin him to the ground.
“I fucking hate having blond hair! And yet I do it for you because you don’t want to see our father every time you look at me.
I have accommodated your fears and trauma despite you doing nothing to fix them.
And now here I am, expected to accommodate you once more. When is it my turn?”
My body is vibrating, and my vision is cloudy around the edges. I’m vaguely aware of Quinton and Jude exchanging blows on the other side of the trailer, and Matteo screaming at them to stop.
That seems like a great idea right now, actually. Maybe I’ll feel better if I smash Dexter’s nose in with my fist. Then perhaps I’ll feel normal again.
“I never asked you to baby me!” my brother snaps, finally pushing me away and scrambling away from me. “I’m autistic, not an infant. I never asked you to give up shit for me.”
“You didn’t have to ask, Dex. That’s what being a twin is.
We take care of one another, and I’ve done everything I could to make sure you’re okay.
” I wipe the angry tears that fall down my face away with the back of my hand.
“But I can’t do this. I can’t give her up for you.
I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t lose her. She’s my Omega. I need her.”
“She doesn’t even want us,” he whispers, hurt lacing every one of his words. “She’s made that so fucking clear. Why are you willing to ruin our relationship over an Omega who wants nothing to do with any of us?”
The back of my neck is on fire, and my hands are shaking. I want to crawl out of my skin, and I know that the only thing that will make me feel better is my Omega. I need to hold her, to smell her, to kiss her, to fuck her.
And my brother is in my fucking way.
“You’re not worth my fucking time,” I spit at him, climbing to my feet and grabbing him by the shirt. “You’re hopeless. I don’t know why I thought you could ever change.”
If I were in my right mind, I would probably ache at the look on his face, but all I care about is getting to Alex.
A door slams behind me, and the scent of rich chocolate swirls in the air. There’s a tart cherry thread weaved throughout it that makes my mouth water, and I find myself sitting back on my haunches, ignoring Dexter’s heaving form beneath me.
“Stop.”
The word blankets all the Alphas in the room, including me, and freezes our bodies where they are.
Omega.
My Omega is here.
“What in the world is going on?” she says, her voice low and laced with a true growl.
Omegas don’t typically growl, do they? I try to wrack my brain, to pull on the training all Alphas have to take when they present, to pinpoint the conditions that have to be met for an Omega to be able to growl like this.
I can only think of one.
The need to control an Alpha in rut.
Oh.
“Alex,” Matteo pants, abandoning his effort to break up the fight between Jude and Quinton, and running toward her. “What are you doing here? You need to leave, it’s not safe.”
“I could feel your fear and distress. It woke me up.”
Now that I’m looking at he through clearer eyes, she does look sleep-rumpled, her wavy hair wild around her face and her curvy body wrapped in a pair of boxers and a baggy t-shirt.
The sight of her stiffens my cock and has my fists clenching.
Who’s fucking boxers are those?
Whose boxers are my Omega wearing?
A growl rises up in my chest, and I make a move to lunge at her, to rip them off her body, when she spins and cements me to the spot with a furious glare.
“No you fucking don’t, Alpha.” She bares her teeth at me, and I immediately shrink back, showing her my neck in a subconscious sign of submission. Dexter chuckles darkly under his breath but doesn’t say shit to me.
“They were jealous of my bond,” Matteo tells her, rubbing his chest. “They started fighting over who was taking you on the next date, who was getting your bond next. The scent of your slick in here, plus the aggression and need to claim, was a perfect storm. I think all of them have fallen into a rut. It’s not safe for you to be here. ”
A light blush blooms on her cheeks as she groans, scrubbing her hands down her gorgeous face. “Because, of course, they would fight over who gets my bond next.”
“Quinton’s never been in a rut before,” the Beta admits, eyes darting to the Rotting Alpha. “All I know is that ruts require them to fuck or fight it out, right?”
Alex slumps down into one of Jude’s chairs, exhaustion evident in her delicate features. “That’s the easiest way to fix it, yeah. Pheromone exposure can calm it, Omega purrs, and extreme exercise can help, too. But yes, fucking and fighting are the fastest way through without blockers.”
“Do you have blockers on hand?” the Beta asks hopefully.
“No. They’re prescription only.”
Dexter tries to wrench himself away from my grip on his shirt. “I’m not in a rut,” he snarls, pushing against me again. “I don’t need one.”
Slowly, Alex stands, crossing the room and standing beside me. This close, her scent has my hips thrusting forward, unable to control the way my cock seeks her out.
I want her so bad I can’t breathe.
She stares at me for a moment before speaking. “Let go of your brother, Dario.”
I immediately scramble away.
She places two fingers on my brother’s neck and pauses, counting to herself. Then she holds his eyelids open and pulls his lips from his teeth, ignoring his protests and the way he tries to slap her away.
“He’s right,” she concludes, looking at Matteo. “He’s not in a full rut. Minor symptoms, but completely manageable.” She holds her hands up, giving him a chance to decline before her hands run across his body as if searching for injury.
I’m so jealous I can’t see straight, and a snarl escapes me. I nearly lunge for him again, but Matteo’s arms band around me, stopping my motions.
“What are we going to do here, Alex?” Matteo’s voice is strained with the effort of holding me back.
“Pheromone exposure,” she says simply. “They all need Omega pheromones to chill the fuck out.”
“So what, you’re going to fuck them all?” Dexter asks dryly. “They’ll tear you apart.”
Our Omega chuckles and shakes her head. “No, I’m not going to fuck them all. But maybe it’ll be enough if I fuck you.”