CHAPTER 60
Kashish woke up the next morning with Rudra beside her, his breathing steady, still lost in sleep. He looked younger, more peaceful, while she felt utterly different—drained, pale, and disconnected, as though she no longer recognized herself. Her heart pounded as she flushed, knowing exactly what had caused this change. It was him… Rudra Raheja, and the love they made the night before. The memory of those moments played relentlessly in her mind.
She could still feel the searing heat of his hands on her skin, his touch igniting a fire deep within her, sending electric shivers down her spine. The way he had pulled her closer, his body pressed firmly against hers, his breath hot and urgent on her neck, had awakened something primal, something she hadn’t known she could feel. Every graze of his fingers, every subtle brush of his lips on her skin seemed to unlock desires that had been buried within her for so long.
She recalled how his eyes, usually so guarded and intense, had softened in those intimate moments, darkened with a longing that made her heart race. They lay entwined, their bodies tangled in a way that felt like they were trying to merge into one. His lips had found hers again and again, hungry and insistent, drawing breath from her lungs and leaving her gasping for more. Each kiss deepened, more passionate than the last.
And then there was the way he had whispered her name, low and hoarse, filled with a passion that sent waves of heat through her. The way he had held her as the night grew still, possessive and protective.
She shook her head, trying to stop herself from dwelling on it too much, knowing if she did, she’d never be able to face the day. There was so much to process about last night. She had never realized that baring your soul and body to someone who loves you without limits could be so liberating, so effortless. Yet, despite the intimacy, she had been so careful in her actions, worried that he might pull away. The fear of touching him to her heart’s content still lingered in her mind, even though it was he who had given her the right to claim all of him. But he hadn’t flinched, not once. It was as if that fear had vanished, and he owed her an explanation—how had he conquered it? Was it gone for good? She desperately hoped so.
Quietly slipping out of bed, Kashish made her way to the bathroom. Relief washed over her that it was the weekend; there was no way she could have focused on work with the constant flashes of last night invading her thoughts every second. Locking the door behind her, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She had given herself completely to the man she loved. It felt foreign, uncontrollable, as though she had crossed a line she could never return from. There was no regret. As the water from the shower cascaded over her, she stood beneath it, letting it soothe her aching muscles and wash away the exhaustion of last night’s intensity.
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An hour had passed since Kashish had woken up, and her handsome devil was still sprawled on the bed, lost in sleep. She didn’t want to disturb him. Watching him like this—so calm, so peaceful—felt like a stolen moment she wasn’t willing to break. In the kitchen she stirred her coffee, desperate for its warmth to kickstart her day. Just then, a gust of wind brushed against her skin, and she knew he was behind her. Facing him again after last night was daunting, even though all the barriers between them had crumbled. Slowly, she turned, setting the mug down on the kitchen counter.
Rudra stood there, watching her intently. His hair was a mess, his eyes still heavy with sleep. How much rest had they even gotten? Barely four hours, she supposed. He let his gaze travel down her body, reading her every reaction before his eyes found hers again. Without a word, he stretched his arms out, beckoning her into his embrace. Without hesitation, she crossed the distance in two long strides, wrapping herself tightly around him. His arms circled her possessively, lifting her as though she were the most precious thing in the world. His fingers found their way into her damp hair, untangling the strands with a tenderness that made her heart ache.
“Are you okay?”
He had asked her that so many times since last night, but this time his voice carried a deeper need for reassurance. She simply nodded, snuggling closer into his chest. But then, she felt his grip on her loosen, his body tensing in a way she didn’t understand. Pulling back, Kashish followed his gaze to the wall in the living room, where her father’s picture hung. Rudra’s face hardened, and he abruptly pulled away, his expression shadowed by the bitter memories of the past
Reading the storm brewing inside him, Kashish cupped his face, forcing him to look away from the photo.
“Don’t coil yourself in the past again. It’s over, Rudra. We’ve come through it.”
Her words softened the tension in his features, and for a moment, he looked as though he wanted to believe her. He had to. They had come too far, endured too much to let those painful memories destroy what they had built.
“I just hope he approves of me… of having his daughter,” he whispered with guilt still residing in his heart somewhere.
“He will. Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s seen how you’ve taken care of me. You’ve always put my needs and my happiness above everything else. He wouldn’t have missed that.”
Her gentle explanation broke through his defenses, and in one swift motion, he pulled her in for a searing kiss, one that made her head spin. Every ounce of emotion he had bottled up spilled into that kiss, leaving her breathless. What had this man done to her? When they finally parted, Kashish placed a hand on his chest, studying his face. His expression wasn’t torn or fearful anymore. It was calm, his eyes urging her to continue.
“When did this happen? When did you get over it?” she asked, her voice soft yet curious.
“When I was in Paris,” he replied.
Kashish knew that this was going to be a story worth hearing. She walked to the kitchen, grabbed their coffees, and they settled on the sofa, ready to talk.
“Dr. Akash gave me the contact of a friend in Paris—Dr. Scott,” Rudra explained, taking a sip of his coffee. “I consulted him there.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, a little hurt.
“We weren’t even talking for those two months, remember? And I didn’t know if it would work. Fears like these don’t just disappear overnight, Kashish. Dr. Scott told me that too, in our first session. He suggested couple’s therapy, so you could understand my boundaries, my triggers... But I didn’t want you to see me struggle. I didn’t want you to be hurt by my fears.”
“But Rudra, that’s what relationships are. We work through these things together. What Dr. Scott suggested makes sense.”
“Yes,” he agreed, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. “But for me, that was Plan B.”
Kashish pulled her hand back, her patience thinning.
“And what was Plan A?”
“To heal myself,” he said firmly.
Kashish sighed, exasperated. “You always do this. You lock away your pain and fight it alone. That’s not how this works, Rudra.”
“It worked this time, didn’t it?” he interrupted, his eyes intense. “I don’t pull away from your touch anymore.”
“Lucky me,” she sighed again, resting her head on his chest. “Please, go on.”
Rudra gently combed his fingers through her hair as he continued. “Plan A was to fight my fears head-on. I started medication, but I also enrolled in Krav Maga.”
“Krav Maga?” Kashish looked at him, confused.
“It’s a form of self-defense. It’s intense, both physically and mentally. It teaches you how to handle dangerous situations, to fight back when you’re threatened,” he explained. “It gave me strength. Every time I practiced, I pictured myself fighting the woman who tried to hurt me… and every time, it made me feel stronger, like I was reclaiming that part of me.”
Kashish’s eyes filled with tears. “It helped you?”
“It saved me, Kashish,” he admitted. “That fear is almost gone.”
Overwhelmed, Kashish placed her hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. He was stronger now, more whole.
“Did you tell your family?” she asked.
“I told them I was learning martial arts, but I didn’t go into detail.”
“And the medication? Do you still take it?”
“Only when I have nightmares,” he said.
“How often do those happen now?” she asked softly.
Rudra thought for a moment before smiling. “I haven’t had one since I came back to you.”
Kashish’s heart swelled with pride. She smiled, sipping her coffee.
“I want to meet Dr. Scott. Just once. I want to help you, however I can.”
Rudra nodded, agreeing.
“We can visit him when we go to Paris. Maybe for our honeymoon?”
A smile tugged at her lips as she bit her inner lip. “Sounds good. I’ve always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower.”
“You’ll love Paris,” he whispered, scooping her into his arms again.
Their moment was interrupted by the ring of Rudra’s phone. Kashish urged him to check, and reluctantly, he left the comfort of her arms to answer.
“Yes, Bhai?” Rudra said.
“Where are you?” Shekhar’s voice carried concern. “You weren’t in your room, and Mohan said you didn’t come home last night. I’m worried.”
“I’ll be home in 30 minutes. Have Mohan pick me up,” Rudra replied, smirking.
“Where should he pick you up from?”
“Kashish’s home.”
Shekhar paused, no doubt processing the implications, but he didn’t ask questions. “Alright, I’ll send Mohan. See you soon.”
As Rudra hung up, he glanced at Kashish, who was busy checking her phone too.
“Who’s messaging you?” he asked.
“Roma. My team’s calling me for a movie this afternoon.”
“And are you going?”
Kashish approached him, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
He pulled her close, his grip firm. “Go.”
“What?” she blinked.
“Go. I’ve got work to do too. Besides, you need a little distraction from me, or you’ll get bored of me soon enough,” he teased.
She playfully punched his chest, but Rudra caught her wrist, softly twisting her around.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear.
Kashish relaxed into his embrace, smiling.
“I could never get bored of you, Rudra. Don’t say things like that.”
“I’m sorry,” he kissed her forehead, smoothing over the moment. “But really, go. I won’t mind.”
She had to agree.
Within thirty minutes, Rudra was ready to leave. As he got into the car, Kashish stood at the door, watching him drive away, a small smile playing on her lips.
Her phone buzzed immediately after the car left. It was a message from Rudra.
‘Did you sleep well last night?’
Kashish grinned, typing back quickly.
‘I’ve never slept so peacefully before. Did you?’
His reply came almost instantly.
‘Yes. Looking forward to such peaceful sleep forever.’
Kashish’s heart soared. Yes, that’s exactly what she wanted too. The thought of spending even a single night apart from Rudra felt unbearable now. Two months couldn’t pass fast enough.
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Raheja Mansion
Rudra walked into the house. Shekhar and Anjali, seated at the breakfast table, immediately noticed the subtle yet undeniable change in him. There was a different light in his eyes, a quiet joy radiating from him that hadn’t been there before.
“Rudra,” Shekhar called out, eyeing him curiously.
Rudra didn’t avoid them, didn’t try to mask his mood.
“Good morning,” he greeted them, settling next to Shekhar.
“Good morning. Hungry?” Shekhar asked, picking up on the underlying energy in the room.
“Very.”
Anjali quickly started serving him breakfast, her eyes flickering between Rudra and Shekhar.
“When did Daadi come home last night?” Rudra asked, casually picking up his fork.
“At 2 a.m. Her Satsang must have gone well—she’s never been so content after one of those holy gatherings,” Anjali replied.
Rudra nodded, continuing to eat, but the air suddenly grew tense as Daadi’s voice sliced through the room.
“Where were you last night?”
Shekhar and Anjali tensed, knowing that this was the moment they had feared. They exchanged worried glances, unsure of how Rudra would handle the inevitable confrontation.
Rudra slowed his movements but didn’t stop.
“Good morning, Daadi. I heard your Satsang went well,” he said, trying to steer the conversation in another direction, but it was no use.
“I asked you a question, Rudra. Where were you last night?” She repeated.
Without hesitation, Rudra put down his fork, wiped his lips, and faced her squarely.
“I was with Kashish,” he answered, his voice steady, devoid of any fear or hesitation.
“I thought as much,” she snapped. “I knew she would do something like this to hold on to you, to trap you.”
Rudra stood up. He wiped his lips calmly before turning to face his grandmother again.
“She doesn’t need to do anything, Daadi. Kashish already has me. She knows that I’m hers, and I’ll stand by her for life. Please, change your thinking. She’s not some schemer; she’s the woman I love. She’s your grandson’s choice. There must be something extraordinary about her if I love her this deeply.”
Daadi’s face flushed with fury, but Rudra stood his ground.
“You’re not taking me seriously, Rudra!” she shouted. “All these years, I’ve bent to your wishes, but not this time! I’ve made it clear what I’ll do if you bring her into this house as your wife.”
“I remember exactly what you said,” Rudra replied, shaking his head. “But I’m not going to lose either of you. Neither Kashish nor you, Daadi. That’s my promise.”
He picked up his phone and without another word, walked away, leaving Daadi standing there, her anger slowly turning into confusion. She stared after him, unsure of what he meant. How could he possibly hold on to both Kashish and her? The uncertainty gnawed at her, as Rudra’s footsteps echoed down the hallway, leaving her with more questions than answers.