Chapter 9 #3
Lol looked at her. ‘I said that it didn’t worry me too much when she didn’t answer the phone because I presumed she’d be in Devon. With you.’
Ana’s jaw fell open. ‘Oh, now – this is too weird, too, too weird.’ She told Lol about what Mrs Tilly-Loubelle had said.
And then she told her everything, about the cottage and the song about Zander and the trip to India.
Lol knew nothing about any of it and was completely silenced by the information.
‘I’m gobsmacked,’ she said, her eyes wide with confusion, ‘totally, completely and utterly gobsmacked. And I thought it were weird,’ she continued, ‘the way you’ve been asking me all these questions about Bee, as if you didn’t know her.
And you mean to say,’ she squeaked incredulously, ‘that Bee was disappearing off somewhere every weekend and lying to me about it? Me – her best friend? And that that mare had a lovely little cottage in the country and she never told anyone. God, you know, I always wondered what she’d done with all that money from her dad.
I couldn’t work out why she was always talking about being broke.
And she was always, always going on about going to India.
It was like her big dream. And she fucking went and didn’t even tell us.
I am outraged, Ana – outraged. You know what we’ve got to do, don’t you? ’ she said.
Ana shook her head.
‘We’ve got to go. We’ve got to go to this Broadstairs place and find this cottage. I’ll bet you anything it’s where she was going every weekend. She probably had a secret lover or something. This Zander bloke. I bet it was him. You said you found some keys in the flat?’
Ana nodded, numbly.
‘So. We’ve got a photo. We’ve got keys. We have to go.’ Lol was growing more and more animated as her tears dried up and her plan took shape.
‘Yes,’ said Ana, ‘but when? I’ve got to go home tomorrow.’
‘Oh, don’t be daft. You can’t go home now. Not now. We’ve got a mystery to solve.’
‘Yes, but – what about Mum?’
Lol raised her eyebrows to the ceiling again. ‘You sound like a scratched record, d’you know that? What about Mum, what about Mum?’ she mimicked Ana’s middle-class tones. ‘What about your bloody mother? How old is she?’
‘Sixty.’
‘Can she walk?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘Can she use a toilet?’
‘Yes.’
‘Can she cook for herself.’
‘Mm.’
‘Has she got friends? People to look out for her?’
‘Yes – loads. Everyone in Torrington thinks she’s wonderful.’
‘So – she’ll be all right for a few days then, won’t she?’
‘She’ll give me hell, you know.’
‘Oh, big-fucking-deal’ – Lol drew a newspaper with her hands – ‘I can see the headlines already – “Horror of Sixty-Year-Old Woman Shouting at Adult Daughter”. How old are you, Ana? Twenty-four, twenty-five? And you’re still scared of your mum.
Honestly, girl – you should be ashamed of yourself.
And, quite frankly, if you don’t mind me being completely honest with you for a moment, your mother doesn’t deserve your concern.
Not after the way she treated Bee. Particularly after the funeral incident … ’
‘What funeral?’
‘Gregor’s funeral, of course.’
‘Yes, but that was Bee’s fault. She attacked my mother …’
‘And can you blame her? It was the most shocking thing I have ever witnessed, and if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes …’
‘What?’ said Ana. ‘What happened?’
‘Well – what did your mother tell you happened?’
‘That Bee threw her out of the chapel of rest, that she hurt her, that she screamed at her in front of everyone.’
‘And why d’you think she might have done that?’
Ana shrugged. ‘Because she didn’t want her to be there? Because she was ashamed of her. Ashamed of us.’
‘Is that what she told you?’
‘Uh-huh.’
Lol raised her eyebrows. ‘That woman,’ she said, ‘that woman should be … she should be – God. I dunno. She’s a disgrace.
Look. Your mother behaved appallingly at Gregor’s funeral.
She were sobbing and wailing and crying out “my husband, my husband”, when everyone knew that he weren’t her bloody husband at all.
And she were making such a racket that one of Gregor’s friends, this really lovely guy called Tiger, he went and sat next to her to try to calm her down.
Apparently he just said, is there anything I can do for you, maybe you’d like some fresh air – that sort of thing.
I mean, he wasn’t being even slightly rude.
And he put an arm around her shoulder, like this.
And she slaps it away and turns round to him and starts really laying into him … ’
Oh God. Ana already knew what was coming. Her mother’s abundant charm was a barely existent membrane over her hateful innards. When she turned, she turned.
‘She said, “Get your disgusting AIDS-ridden hand off me, you snivelling, malnourished, frankly rather unattractive excuse for a man.” And then told him that he should hurry up and die and stop being a drain on the National Health. And then she stood up, in front of everyone, in front of all of Gregor’s friends, and accused them all of turning him into a pervert against his will and of deliberately infecting Gregor with their ‘rancid virus’ so that they could get their hands on all his money. ’
‘No!’ said Ana.
‘Yes,’ said Lol, ‘she fucking well did. Oh Ana, I tell you, it were one of the most shocking things I have ever seen in my life. I wanted to hit ’er.
I really did. And then I saw Bee getting up from her seat, and her face went all sort of twisted up, and she just grabbed your mother by her arms, like this, and frog-marched her out of the chapel.
Told her she didn’t ever want to see her again.
Told her she was disowning her. I wanted to cheer, I really did.
But it weren’t exactly appropriate, you know … ’
Ana’s face felt slack with shock – not shock that her mother was capable of behaving so badly, but shock that she’d missed out on a relationship with Bee because of it, that the infamous and much-vaunted bruises on her mother’s arms, far from being an acceptable reason to sever ties with Bee, were the exact opposite.
And that she’d been stupid enough to believe her mother’s version of events in the first place.
‘So,’ said Lol, ‘that should give you a fresh perspective on things.’ She picked up her bag. ‘I’m going to get us some more drinks now, and by the time I get back I expect you to have made the right decision. All right?’
‘All right.’ Ana’s hands shook as she picked up her margarita and drained it of the last few drops. The enormity of what Lol had just told her was hitting home. Everything could have been so different.
She watched Lol sashay across the room in her blue chiffon hippie top and indigo jeans, her white pony tail and long diamanté earrings swinging from side to side, and the eyes of every person in the room on her.
Lol knew no fear. She didn’t see obstacles in life – only opportunities.
She wasn’t just Ana’s physical negative, but her mental negative, too.
Ana looked around her at the other people in the bar.
Strangers. Dozens of them. Strangers with strange lives who lived in flats she’d never visit and had jobs she’d never heard of.
This was Bee’s world, she realized, this city of transients and trendies, exclusivity and anonymity, this city where it could take two hours to visit a friend living three miles away but less than thirty minutes to get a fresh lobster delivered to your front door.
And not only did she want to know what this city had done to her big sister, but she also wanted to know it.
She wanted to feel at home here. Like Bee had.
She wasn’t ready to go home. She wasn’t ready to face her mother. She wanted to stay.
‘I’m staying,’ she said firmly, when Lol returned with two more margaritas. ‘I’m staying.’
Lol threw her arms around her, and the two women hugged. ‘Nice one, girl, nice one. Now we’ve just got to sort out a plan. We’ll go on Sunday, right? I’ve got to work tomorrow and I’m off on Monday.’
‘Off?’
‘Yeah. I’m going to St Tropez for a few days. To a recording studio.’
‘Really? Ana’s mind was boggling with the glamour of it all.
‘Uh-huh. I’m going to be staying in a belle époque mansion on a cliff overlooking the sea with a swimming pool and a maze and fountains and everything.’
‘Wow,’ said Ana.
‘Yeah. Downside is I’m going to be there with a bunch of foul-mouthed, beer-swilling Scousers with too much money in their pockets and too much coke up their noses.
But I’m not complaining. Not at all. And I’ll find you a place to stay.
I’d offer you my flat, but it’s a shithole and, anyway, I don’t want you living on your own.
Not a country girl like you in a city like this. Have you got any money?’
Ana thought guiltily of the ￡7,350 sitting in her suitcase at Lol’s flat, and nodded.
‘Excellent. Leave it with me. And we’ll get Flint to drive.’
‘Flint? Who’s Flint?’
Lol raised her finely plucked eyebrows. ‘Don’t ask. Just a guy. A guy with a really big car. So – a toast,’ she grinned, raising her glass towards Ana’s, ‘a toast to us – the Cagney and Lacey of W10.’ They laughed and clinked glasses, and then Lol turned to Ana and looked serious.
‘Do you forgive me?’ she said.
‘What for?’
‘For not being a good enough friend to Bee? For being selfish? For losing the cat? For breaking Bee’s heart? For letting her down?’
‘Oh Lol – don’t be silly. It wasn’t your fault. Look – Bee would have kept searching for that cat if it had taken her for ever. It wasn’t the cat. It was something else. And that’s what we’re going to search for in Broadstairs. OK?’
‘OK,’ said Lol, ‘OK.’
And then their conversation was interrupted, as a floppy-haired man in a T-shirt and Bermuda shorts approached them.
‘Excuse me,’ he said in a German accent, ‘my friend and I’ – he indicated another floppy-haired man standing at the bar – ‘We were wondering. You two are very beautiful and also very tall. Are you by any chance – models?’
‘No, love,’ said Lol wearily, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder, ‘we’re not models. We’re something much better than models. We’re undercover detectives. But don’t tell a soul. All right?’
Ana and Lol waited until the confused-looking man wandered back to his friend before looking at each other and dissolving into cackles.