Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Kelsie
G ravel crunches under my feet as I step out of my car.
My heart quickens, throat tightening as I take in the sprawling landscape.
Rolling hills stretch to the horizon, dotted with grazing cattle and weathered wooden fences.
I hesitated, feeling small and out of place in this setting.
Yet, I spent so much time here as a teenager.
Taking a deep breath, I steel myself and begin the walk up the driveway to the porch.
With each step, memories of Carson flood back - his crooked smile, the warmth of his embrace, the intensity in those piercing blue eyes.
Eyes I'll soon be looking into again after all these years.
You can do this. It's just Carson.
The same Carson you've known forever.
But was he? So much time has passed. We've both changed, grown apart.
The carefree teenagers sneaking kisses behind the barn are long gone.
In their place stand two adults shaped by life's hardships - me, broken by divorce and tragedy, and him, a single father after a divorce and losing his child’s mother.
The amount of heartache between us is overwhelming. The only time I’ve spoken to him since I left twenty years ago is when I heard about Sarah. He didn’t answer, but I left a voicemail expressing my condolences. I remember receiving the invitation to his wedding. I almost went, but after a long night and then crying myself to sleep, I decided against it. For my sanity, I needed to stay as far away from him as I could then.
As I near the weathered farmhouse, I catch sight of a tall figure on the porch. Even from a distance, I can make out Carson's broad shoulders and dark hair ruffling in the breeze.
He stands motionless, watching my approach, his expression unreadable.
With each step, my pulse quickens.
What do I say? How will he react?
The questions swirl in my mind, a dizzying whirlpool of anticipation and dread.
Well, at least if this goes terribly, I can always hitch a ride back to town on one of those cows.
The thought brings a fleeting smile to my lips as I climb the creaking porch steps, steeling myself.
As I reach the top step, our eyes lock.
The world falls away, leaving only Carson and me in a haze.
His piercing blue eyes, once so familiar, now hold a depth I can't quite fathom. The years have etched fine lines at their corners, hinting at both laughter and hardship. The sadness in his eyes almost breaks me.
Men from the city are hot in a suit and tie kind of way, but Carson. He’s rugged in the way where you can tell he works with his hands all day. I try not to stare, but the way his Levi’s are hugging his frame just perfectly makes a girl swoon.
“Carson,” I manage, my voice wavering. “I… thank you for this. For letting me stay. I know it's not ideal, and I promise I won't be in your way.” The words tumble out.
He shifts his weight, his expression softening. He tries to hide it but he looks at me up and down, drinking me in. “It's no trouble. You're always welcome here, you know that.”
Honestly when my brother told me that he agreed to let me stay here for a little bit, I didn’t know what to say. Staying with an ex is awkward, especially when only your best friends knows that he is your ex. Our history is filled with firsts together and that’s hard to ignore.
My shoulders relax a fraction. “Still,” I press on, “I appreciate it. More than you know. Especially after everything.”
Carson's gaze flickers over me, concern evident in the slight furrow of his brow.
“You've been through hell,” he states. “Least I can do is offer you a safe place to land. No matter what happens, you know I’ll always be here if you need me.”
The sincerity in his words catch me off guard, and I blink back the sudden sting of tears. “Thank you,” I whisper again, not trusting myself to say more.
A ghost of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Come on,” he says, gesturing towards the door. “Let's get you settled in.”
As I trail behind Carson, my heart races traitorously. His broad shoulders and confident stride stirs something deep within, a feeling I thought I'd long since buried. I flashback to our high school days - stolen kisses behind the bleachers, hushed giggles as we snuck out past curfew, the thrill of keeping our relationship a secret from my overprotective brother. He would have killed both of us if he found out, but we kept it under wraps. Now, here I am, staying at his house, waiting for the insurance company to figure out what is going to happen with my claim since the fire.
The only thing I had left after leaving my abusive ex-husband was my business and my apartment above it, and now I have nothing. Everything is gone. The thing is I still don’t understand how the fire started, but that’s why they pay people to do that.
The only thing I have left to hold onto is my brother. He was nice enough to reach out to Carson to see if I could stay here for a while since he travels so much for work. Plus he just got married and has a newborn baby… and he just thought it would be better. I bet he wouldn’t say that if he knew about our past.
“Watch your step there.”
I stumble over the threshold, my cheeks flushing and he catches me, our faces mere inches apart. I perk up fast, not wanting to make this awkward in the first five minutes. “Guess I'm a bit distracted. It was a long drive.”
He searches my face. “Understandable. You've been through a lot.”
As we enter the living room, sunlight streamed through large windows. “It's beautiful,” I breath, drinking in the details. The floorboards creak comfortingly beneath my feet as I move further into the room.
Carson shrugs, but I catch a hint of pride in his eyes. “It's home.”
I run my fingers along the back of a plush armchair, savoring the soft texture. “You've done an amazing job with the place. It feels so... welcoming.”
Right after that slips out of mouth I realize that his ex-wife probably decorated. Yeah, she did, I can see it in his eyes. I am already screwing this up.
He clears his throat, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Make yourself at home. I'll grab us some coffee.”
As he disappears into the kitchen, I sink into the armchair, my mind reeling. How is it possible that after all these years, Carson still has this effect on me? I close my eyes, willing my heart to slow its frantic beating. This is supposed to be a temporary arrangement, nothing more. But as the comforting sounds and smells of the ranch house surround me, it seems more like a second home even after all these years of being gone.
Carson returns with two steaming mugs. As he hands me mine, our fingers brush, and my mind immediately goes to when those used to run through my hair. We had some good times back then… he was my first love. Hell, technically my first everything.
“Thank you,” I murmur, wrapping my hands around the warm ceramic.
Carson settles into the chair across from me, his piercing blue eyes never leaving my face. “So,” he says, “tell me what happened.”
I swallow hard, the weight of recent events pressing down on me. “Honestly, I’m still not sure. I was downstairs working my store and then the alarm started going off. I went to the staircase to head upstairs and saw smoke and bolted. By the time the fire department got there, it had wiped out the apartment and most of the downstairs.”
“And they haven’t figured out how it started? Did you leave a candle lit? A small heater running?”
“Of course not, honestly I’m dumbfounded. It just doesn’t make any sense.” I don’t say what I’m thinking. It could have been my ex-husband. He tried to contest the divorce, but when I turned in all the documentation I had been taking over our last six months of being married… the bruises, the text messages… he didn’t have a choice.
“Well, I’m just glad it didn’t happen at night. You could have gotten trapped up there. Scares me to death.” Carson leans forward, his expression softening.
“I lost everything,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “My home, my business... it's all gone. I have nothing left for me in the city. My brother is wanting me to use the insurance payout to buy a house here in Lawson Ridge and open my store here.”
His eyes brighten slightly. “Wait? Is that an option? I didn’t even think you would consider that.”
He’s right. I haven’t. My brother is hell bent on wanting me closer to him since he’s starting a family. He thinks the city is a dangerous place especially with my ex-husband roaming around.
“Let’s talk about something. My future right now is up in the air and it’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about the whole drive.”
He rakes his hand through his hair. “Okay, well I saw Mandy at the grocery store last week. Still giving her husband hell. Glad she found someone willing to put up with her.”
I laugh because I know they actually get along. He just likes to give her shit.
The crunch of tires on gravel cuts through our conversation. Carson's eyes dart to the window, a smile softening his features.
“That'll be Collin.” He rises from his seat. “Come on, I'd like you to meet him.”
I follow him to the front door, my heart racing. The prospect of meeting his son - this living, breathing proof of the life he's built without me - sends a pang through my chest. We were supposed to have kids one day together.
The door swings open, and a whirlwind of energy bursts through. Collin is the spitting image of his father, all dark hair and bright blue eyes. He skids to a halt when he sees me, curiosity blooming on his face.
“Collin, this is Miss Kelsie. She'll be staying with us for a while.”
“Hi, Miss Kelsie!” Collin chirps, offering me a grin. “Do you like horses?”
“I do, actually. Though it's been a while since I've ridden. Your dad is actually the one who taught me many years ago.”
“Maybe Dad can teach you again!” Collin exclaims, bouncing on his toes. “He's the best rider ever!”
Carson chuckles, ruffling his son's hair. “Why don't you go get started on your homework, bud? I'm going to show Miss Kelsie to her room.”
As Collin scampers off, Carson leads me up a creaking staircase. The scent of pine and leather clung to the air, so quintessentially Carson that it makes my heart ache. I miss that smell.
As we go upstairs, we walk past what I assume to be his bedroom considering the flannel shirt laying on the bed and the work boots by the bedside.
“Here we are,” he says, pushing open a door right next to it. “It's not much, but I hope you'll be comfortable.”
I step into the room, drinking in the cozy quilts and lace curtains. It is simple, but warm - just like the man who offered it to me. I’m not sure how this is going to work with me sleeping in the room next to his, but I guess I’ll have to make it work.
“It's perfect. Thank you.”
He nods, hesitating in the doorway. “I’ll let you get settled. Dinner's at six, if you're up for it.”
As the door closes behind him, I sink onto the bed, overwhelmed. My fingers trace the intricate pattern of the quilt, and suddenly, I am transported back in time. To stolen moments in the hayloft, Carson's arms around me, his lips on mine. To whispered promises and dreams of a future together. I close my eyes, fighting back tears. How did we end up here, strangers living under the same roof? And more importantly, how am I going to survive with all these old feelings threatening to resurface?