Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
T here was always a mid-week lull at work, right before the lunchtime rush where everyone in the vicinity who had a thirty-minute lunch-break wanted to rush to the council offices to report their problems of overgrown grass verges, loose flagstones on pavements, and complain that their neighbours were playing their music too loud and wanted me to personally visit to sort it out.
“Thanks,” I said, as Cheryl handed me a hot cup of tea.
“You’re welcome.” She took her seat next to me and looked to the empty waiting area. “Depressing this, isn’t it? Knew I should have booked the day off. Could have got a manicure or something. I might book a week or two off next month.”
“Not September,” I pleaded. “Me and Zack are going away for two weeks then, but I don’t know the exact dates so haven’t booked the time off yet.”
“Oh, that sounds exciting.” She swivelled her chair to face me. “Where are you going?”
“To Crete.” I blushed as I smiled. “His parents have a villa and have invited us to join them. He showed me photos of the place last night and it’s like a mansion. Absolutely stunning. I can’t wait.”
“Sounds very serious, holidaying with the parents. You kids are adorable.” She took a sip of her drink. “Ooh, this is hot. Uh-oh, we have a live one.” An elderly gentleman was walking down the corridor to the waiting area. The stick in his left hand looked older than he was, and I was worried it would snap from under him. “Bless him, it’s Mr Corby. He gets slower and slower every time. I wonder what non-council issue he wants to complain about this time.”
“I’ll see him if you want, you did it last time.” We usually took it in turns to see the regulars like Mr Corby. At his previous visit, what would usually have taken three to four minutes reporting a street light being out became extended to how things were back in his day when council workers gave no mind to health and safety regulations and would just climb a ladder to change a lamp. He had a point. Our own caretaker needed a certificate before he was allowed to repaint a wall inside the building, so that he couldn’t sue the council if he was poisoned by the fumes.
“No, no, I don’t mind. He’s sweet really, reminds me of my grandad. Hey, Mr Corby? Come on over, love.” She managed to catch him before he got to the chairs, which was good as he always struggled to get back up once he’d sat down.
I jumped as I heard my phone ringing. Luckily, the manager was nowhere to be seen, so I couldn’t be scolded for forgetting to put it on silent.
“I’ll be right back,” I whispered to Cheryl, as Mr Corby took his seat and I sneaked away.
I heard Mr Corby begin his rant about the neighbourhood children being too loud as I pushed open the door to the corridor and answered Sarah’s call.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Sarah wouldn’t normally call me at this time.
“He’s asleep,” Sarah squealed down the line.
“Who’s asleep?”
“My date.”
“Your… your date?” I glanced again at the time on my phone. “It’s not even lunchtime, what are you doing on a date?”
“It was the only time he could spare,” she huffed. “I took an early lunch-break for this and he’s bloody asleep. What do I do?”
“Okay, start again, you’ve totally thrown me here. Who are you with and why on a Tuesday morning?”
“The other night I was back on that dating app and everyone was just, well, gross. This guy called Piotr kept sending really crude messages and wanted me to send him nudes. Anyway, I thought, I’m not doing this. Dating apps are new-age rubbish, people used to actually meet each other in person once upon a time. You know, in the old days. So, I went to Lidl.”
“Ah, Lidl, the breeding ground for eligible bachelors wanting freshly baked sourdough bread.” I tried some recently. It was amazing.
“Well, where else did people used to meet each other and fall in love? Didn’t people used to bump into each other in the street and then get married?”
“So you went to the Lidl middle aisle, hoping to meet someone who would take you down the matrimonial aisle?”
“It was really late, but I couldn’t sleep. I was short on a few things so thought I’d go down to Lidl. Grabbed a basket and walked around. Anyway, I noticed this really good-looking guy.”
“Not Nigel the tween then?”
She chose to ignore me. “He had an NHS lanyard around his neck and was wearing a shirt and tie, so I figured he must be someone important. A consultant, perhaps. He was at the pineapples, picking them up one at a time. I noticed he didn’t have a wedding ring on, so I decided I needed a pineapple too.”
“Of course, we can never get enough pineapples. Did you buy one? We can make pi?a coladas.”
“Anyway… I picked one up and my hand just accidentally brushed against his. You know how it goes. ‘ Oh, I’m so sorry ’, I said. We had a laugh and a mid-aisle chatter. Compared pineapples. He’s a surgeon, had just finished a shift. Ten hours in surgery repairing someone’s spine who had fallen off a motorbike.”
“Ouch.” I cringed.
“I know, I could understand being tired after that, poor guy.”
“I meant ‘ouch’ for the dude on the motorbike, but never mind, carry on. Your hot surgeon without a wedding ring was buying a pineapple.”
“Well, we were flirting for about ten minutes until he finally asked me out, but the only time he could do was this morning. He was working all night and he’s on again later, so we agreed on a brunchy-type thing, but he’s fallen asleep.”
“Oh, what a shame.” I once fell asleep during a training session a few years ago. I couldn’t help it, so easily done. “Are you on your way back to work then?”
“No, I’m still here.”
“Wait, you’re still there? And he’s asleep?”
“Yep, he’s got the fork in one hand, his head in the other, and he’s asleep. It’s been about fifteen minutes. I’ve already taken a photo. I’ll send it to you on WhatsApp later.”
“Why are you still there then?”
“Jenny, the food here is amazing. It’s a new tapas place in Leeds. You should take Zack sometime.”
“Sounds like a great atmosphere if Dr Pineapple has fallen asleep. Or maybe you were too boring,” I said, laughing.
“Sod off, I was my delightful self. Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that after this disaster, I’m going to give the dating app another try. I just need a better vetting system to avoid the fitness obsessed and the, well, Nigels.”
“I can help if you like?” I offered. “What time do you finish work today?”
“I should be done by four o’clock. What are you thinking?”
“Fancy meeting me when I finish at five? There’s a Wetherspoons not far from here, we could have a cheap and cheerful tea and then go through the app.”
“Oh, yes.” She thought about it. “Yes, actually that’s perfect. I can show you a photo of Dr Pineapple. I think you’ll be impressed. Oh… shhh.”
There was a muffled sound.
“Sorry,” she returned, “I thought he was waking up, but false alarm.”
I jumped as the door opened behind me.
“Sorry, hun,” Cheryl said. “Could you come back? Mr Corby is still on one about the reliability of the old gas street lamps, and there’s a queue forming behind him.”
“I’m on my way!” Cheryl disappeared back to the office. “I’ll have to go, it’s getting busy. Do you still need help putting furniture together this weekend?”
“If you guys don’t mind.”
“Not at all, Zack’s looking forward to it. He even went back to his flat to get his toolkit.”
“Thank you, I owe you both a meal out. I might bring you to this place, actually.”
“I’m not sure about that, I hear people fall asleep in your company. See you this afternoon.”