Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
I t was almost eight o’clock. I needed to give Sarah a call so we could plan bringing Bing over. It was going to be a major mission. A full, strategic plan of action was needed to make it as swift and smooth as possible and I needed to make sure the cat sitter was prepared. I’d been looking forward to speaking to Sarah for another reason. I wanted to find out more about the guy she had been messaging on the dating app. I hadn’t even thought to ask his name. She hadn’t sent me any emergency ‘help’ messages yet, so either they hadn’t met up, or she had met him, and it all went well, but if so, why hadn’t I heard anything about him?
She’d also hinted about chatting with Alessandro too, was something more going on there?
She picked up the phone after the first ring.
“Hello!” She sounded her usual happy self. In fact, she was possibly slightly happier than usual. “Five days to go, eek! I bet you’re so giddy now and driving everyone mad.”
“Oh, don’t. My stomach doesn’t know whether it is excited or nervous,” I said. “I barely know his parents and now I’m going to spend fourteen days with them. I’ve only just felt comfortable enough to fart in front of Zack, now I need to hold it all in for two weeks.”
“How much are you farting these days?” She laughed.
“You know what I mean! I can’t embarrass myself in front of them. I don’t even know if they know he’s moving in with me. It’d be just like me to slip up and give it away somehow.”
“Don’t worry about it! You’re both grown-ups, you’re allowed to live together in sin. No one bats an eyelid anymore. Just relax, be yourself, don’t fart too much in their company, avoid sex on the balcony and you’ll be fine.”
“I’ll try,” I said, ignoring her reference to our Zante disaster. “Anyway, we won’t be stuck to them for the entire holiday. They said that as long as we’re together for some evening meals, we can do what we like. I guess it’s their holiday too, so they’ll want to do their own thing without us.”
“Exactly, so stop stressing. Just think about how you’ll be sunning it up for two weeks with your office hunk. This time last year, you never could have imagined you’d be going abroad with him, never mind about to live with him. Just enjoy this break. No work to deal with, no politics, which is plaguing the news at the moment, just you and him for fourteen sunny days. And if you get a little bit worried, just give me a call. You know I’m here if you need to rant about anything.”
“I’ll need to learn the Greek word for ‘tea’. Speaking of phone calls…” Here was my window of opportunity. “The last time we spoke you were telling me about your new dating-app interest. How’s it going? Any progress?”
“Oh, there’s not much to tell really.”
“There must be something,” I pushed. “Have you met up with him yet?”
“We went for a drink last night, it was nice.”
“Well, I didn’t get a ‘tea’ message, so it must have been.” This was great news. “What does he look like?”
“He…” She hesitated. “He’s tall. Dark hair. Early-to-mid-thirties, I’d say. Quite an alternative dress sense, like he was probably into the Kerrang! scene in the noughties.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” I smiled to myself, thinking about my love for Green Day and Good Charlotte. “Sounds like we’ll really get on, which is great! I love when friends and boyfriends all get along. We’ll be able to go on double dates and everything.”
“Yes, well, it’s too soon to plan ahead really. I don’t want to jinx anything. We met once and it was great. We chatted for hours and we text every day. I’ll fill you in after your holiday. We can meet up and I’ll tell you all the juicy gossip, or spill all the tea, whatever it is the youths call it.”
I sat back in my chair, still giddy that Sarah could finally have met someone perfect. Someone decent. Someone who she likes so much she doesn’t even want to risk jinxing anything.
“Okay, okay, just promise me you will tell me everything when I get back?”
“I promise,” she said, “I’ll tell you all about him.”
“Good.” I was satisfied, knowing that my friend was happy. “So, when can I bring the great white savage feline around to you? We fly Thursday morning, so I can call around on Wednesday evening with him and all his stuff if that’s all right?”
“Yes, I’ll be free then. I’m meeting my friend again on Tuesday night, so Wednesday night is great, just promise me you won’t try and interrogate me until after your holiday. Don’t be sniffing around looking for clues.”
“I don’t know what you mean! Just ignore the webcam attached around Bing’s neck, won’t you?”
“Ha, ha. Very funny. Have you packed yet?”
We chatted for the next twenty minutes. Sarah dodged every attempt to mine for more information. I did respect her decision though. Mine and Zack’s first few dates were one disaster after another. I hoped that over the two weeks that I was away, things progressed for her and this mystery man.
“So, tell me more about the villa.” I lay my head on Zack’s chest as we relaxed in bed the next morning. “What does it look like? Whereabouts is it? How many bedrooms did you say there are? Tell me all about it again.” I was eager to visualise it, as Zack didn’t have any more photos to show me.
“Ha! Okay, it’s pretty big, I guess. It sits on a piece a land about a mile away from the sea, so we can have some beach days if you like. The outdoor pool is shared with a neighbouring villa, which is owned by some family friends. They might be there too, this time of year, with their daughter. My parents usually invite them over a lot to eat with us.”
“I won’t have to entertain the daughter, will I?” I can see it now – some bored, pain-in-the-arse teenager. Or worse, younger. So much for relaxing in a peaceful, private pool.
“Chloe is capable of entertaining herself by now. She’s twenty-five.”
“Oh?” Alarm bells began to ring, but I couldn’t understand why. “How well do you know her?”
“I’ve known her all her life. We always spent our summers together out there. Our parents are very close. She’s cool, very funny. I think you’ll get on.”
“Oh, good,” I rolled my eyes, thinking back to Sarah’s theory about the twenty-something girls taking all the good men. “Yes, I’m sure we will.”
I rolled over, away from him, not wanting to show him the worry on my face. I’d just washed all my holiday clothes, but I couldn’t be seen in a bikini with someone six years younger than me. I’d have to walk around all day with my arms up in the air, just to make sure my boobs were pointing the right way. He said they used to spend their summers together. Could they have slept together? All that playing in the pool while in bathing suits, is it only natural when you’re young to hook up in that situation? Should I ask him? Am I being paranoid? I wonder if it’s too late to call Sarah.
“Hey, why have you turned away?” Zack spooned me, a perfect fit, making me smile and relax once more.
Suddenly, Bing let out a howl at the bedroom door.
“He’ll be hungry,” I moaned. “I forgot to feed him when I got home last night. I should sort him out soon, or else he’ll do his impersonation of Pavarotti. The neighbours will think we’re harbouring a werewolf if he carries on.”
“How’s his Nessun Dorma ?”
“Painful.”
Zack laughed as he held me more tightly. “Do you have to right now? A few more minutes.”
Bing wailed louder.
“Yes, I think I have to.” I threw back the duvet and pulled away from Zack’s arms. He rolled back over to his side of the bed whilst I put on my dressing gown.
Bing followed me downstairs, attached to my leg like a magnet, and he did not shut up until I had topped up his bowl with some cat biscuits. I made a mental note to warn Sarah that he can get very hangry.
I found my phone sitting on the kitchen counter, so I sent Sarah a message:
Possibly sharing my holiday with a twenty-something… send me words of encouragement to stop me binning my bikinis! Xx
Almost immediately, she replied:
Sod the twenty-something! You are fabulous! Gorgeous! Boobs never looked better! You make those Victoria’s Secret models look like crap! Xxxxx
A bit too far… but I appreciate the effort. You looking forward to your date tomorrow? Xx
She didn’t reply instantly, so I popped the kettle on and set out two cups. I undid my dressing gown, looking down at my naked body. I was slumped forward, which wasn’t a flattering look, my belly all rolled up and ancient boobs sat atop the flab. I stood up straight, pushing my chest out. My boobs still didn’t look great though. I blew some cold air on them, making them look a little bit perkier. Hmm, not bad. Still got it. I just needed to make sure I walked around with my chest pushed out the whole holiday and… Oh shit.
I quickly closed my dressing gown, turning away from the elderly EVRi delivery guy who was staring at me, wide-eyed, through the kitchen window.
“Oh, bugger!” In my haste to fasten my dressing gown, I had pulled it around me quickly, but one of the ties swung around too fast and whipped one of the cups onto the floor. It smashed into pieces, scaring the life out of Bing, who slid on the lino in panic, unable to find a grip so he could run away quickly enough. My kitchen was suddenly a scene from a Looney Tunes cartoon.
“What’s happened?” Zack rushed into the kitchen, looking around. His hands gripped my arms, as my hands covered my face in shame.
“Oh, nothing, I just showed off the goods to Fred. Full-frontal everything. Nothing major.” My face burned, as I turned back to see Fred waving a parcel, unable to speak any words. Zack, holding in his laughter like a gentleman, went to the back door and signed for it.
“I’ve heard of tipping delivery guys, but I think he got more than he deserved,” he said afterwards. “This parcel isn’t even for you, it’s for next door. What the hell do you offer when it’s for you?” He laughed.
“Sod off and make the drinks. I’ll clean these broken bits of crockery up.”
“Leave that, I’ll clean it up.” He reached down to the cupboard under the sink for the dustpan and brush. “You go back upstairs. I’ll make us a drink.”
“Okay, thank you.” I leaned down to kiss him on the top of the head while he crouched down and swept up. Then I picked up my phone and read Sarah’s delayed reply.
Feeling quite nervous about the date, eek! I will tell you all about it when you get back from your holiday, I promise. Just need you to keep an open mind. xxx
An open mind? What could she mean?