Chapter 9
Kallie
––––––––
The spare room was small, but clean. A narrow bed sat below the window on the far wall. An older-style dresser was squeezed between the bed and the closet doors. She swiped the wall with her hand, searching for the switch, and the overhead light flickered on.
She was accustomed to bedrooms with no style and well-worn, older furniture. Finn's room was better than many of the foster homes she lived in.
He paused in the doorway. "If you don't need anything else, I'm going to bed."
When Finn stepped back to leave her for the night, her whole body tightened.
He'd already given her an old t-shirt to sleep in, which she'd changed into in the bathroom, and it covered her clear down to her knees.
He even had a spare toothbrush she used, and because he'd said she could use whatever she needed, she used his brush to get the snarls out of her hair.
"Can you stay for a minute?" She inhaled deeply. "Please?"
Finn frowned slightly. "Stay?"
"Just to talk to me," she whispered. "Until I fall asleep."
He leaned a shoulder against the doorframe, arms crossed. "Why?"
She climbed up on the bed and pulled the blanket over her legs, bunching the material in her hands. "Nights are lonely."
"Sleep is sleep."
"Not when you live in foster homes. There are too many rules. Bedtime at eight. Lights out. No talking. No noise. No anything. Now that I'm older, I'm always alone in a room." She swallowed hard. "I think they want me quiet so they can forget I'm there."
Finn's blank expression shifted, not to pity or softness, but irritation. The hollowness in her chest ached. She wasn't homesick because she had no desire to go back.
"I've never belonged anywhere," she whispered.
"Not even when my mom still had custody of me.
I barely remember living with her. And what I do remember.
.." She shook her head. "She used to leave me alone at night.
In hotel rooms. Apartments. Wherever we were staying.
I'd wake up, and she'd be gone. So, I hate being alone at night. "
She had no idea why she spilled her guts to him. Those were things she hadn't told anyone before.
Finn's jaw tightened. "How old were you when you lived with your mom?"
"I've heard that the state took me from her when I was one year old, but she got me back when I was five, six, and seven. Then she lost me for a year, and hm, I was eight the last time I saw her." She shrugged. "I got used to it."
He stepped into the room, slow and careful, and sat in the chair beside the bed. "You deserve better."
"What about you? Have you always lived here?"
He cleared his throat. "You want me to talk?"
"Yeah, it's your turn," she said. "Just...don't leave me yet."
For a moment, the room was quiet except for the soft hum of the lamp.
Then Finn asked, "What was school like for you?"
She huffed a breath. "Loud. Crowded. I keep my head down so the groups don't notice me. All I want to do is get through school so I can get out of the foster system."
"You got friends?"
"Not really." She picked at a loose thread on the blanket. "People don't get close to foster kids. We move too much. Even if I stayed in one place, other parents would think I was a bad influence on their precious daughters. And the boys, they're jerks."
There was more to it. Boys tried to hook up with her because they thought she'd have sex because she had no parents, as if that made any sense.
Girls looked down their noses at her. Teachers had already given up on her, knowing she had no help at home or that she would be moved to another house soon.
"You got anyone?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Just me."
He stretched his legs out, crossed his ankles, and leaned back in the chair. She rolled to her side and pulled the pillow under her head to look at him.
She whispered, "Are you happy living here by yourself?"
Finn's eyes flicked toward the window, toward the dark street outside. "Happy isn't the word."
"Then what is?"
He thought for a long moment. "Existing."
Her chest tightened. That sounded like the opposite of happiness.
"Why did you come here if this isn't where you want to be?"
"I didn't choose to live in Everstill," he said. "I walked out of prison one day and ended up in this place instead of the real world."
She frowned. "If it doesn't make you happy, why stay?"
"Because there's nowhere else to go."
"You could come back with me," she whispered.
He let out a slow breath. "The seam you walked through won't open for me to leave."
She raised her head. "But I can leave."
"Yeah."
She studied him, the shadows on his face, the weight in his voice. "Why are there only men here?"
Finn's jaw worked. "Because this place pulls in people who aren't worth anything to society. None of us has any ties to the other side."
"Because you said you're dangerous. I remember." She yawned then, surprising herself.
Finn's eyes softened just a fraction. "Go to sleep," he whispered.
She sank deeper under the blanket. But before she closed her eyes, she asked, "How old are you?"
He thought of all the marks on the boards. The counted days told him nothing.
"I was thirty-eight when I walked out of prison." He inhaled deeply. "It was a long time ago."
"And you're how old now?"
He hesitated. "I don't know."
She frowned. "How can you not know?"
"Time doesn't work right here," he said. "Days blur. Weeks disappear. I stopped counting."
"That's not good," she murmured, half-asleep. "You should know how old you are. I'll help you figure it out."
He huffed, and she glanced at him again, thinking he laughed, but his expression held the same seriousness as earlier.
She yawned again, eyes drifting shut. "If I go back, I'll have to stay in foster care for two more years. But if I stay here—"
"No." His voice was firm, cutting through the quiet. "You can't stay here, Kallie. We had a deal. You stay the night, but you're leaving in the morning."
Her eyes opened, heavy and unfocused. "But, what if I could stay?"
"You can't because this place isn't meant for you."
She blinked slowly. "Feels like it is."
Finn looked away, jaw tight, hands clenched on his knees.
"Sleep," he said, softer this time.
"Don't leave." She slipped her hand out from under the blanket and placed it on his forearm. "Stay with me."
She relaxed, touching him, knowing he was still sitting there. Between now and the morning, she was going to figure out a way for her to stay with Finn.