Chapter 20
Kallie
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Kallie woke with a start, disoriented by the darkness. The couch beneath her was lumpy. She sat up. The blanket half-slipped to the floor. She blinked, letting her eyes adjust. The house was quiet, and it made her chest tighten.
She spotted Finn standing near the window. She grabbed the blanket, holding it to her chest.
His rigid silhouette and tense shoulders almost hid his bowed head. The faint glow from outside traced the lines of his body. The broad back, the strong arms, the way he held himself as if braced for impact.
She pushed herself upright, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What time is it?"
He didn't turn. "There's no clock in the house."
His voice was low, rough from disuse or exhaustion, she couldn't tell which. He finally stepped away from the window and crossed the room. The couch dipped under his weight. He sat close enough that she could feel his heat.
He looked straight ahead, ignoring her. But he didn't move away either.
She hesitated only a second before reaching for his hand. His fingers twitched, and he tried to pull away, but she tightened her grip, refusing to let him retreat into himself again.
"Finn," she said softly, "am I so awful that you—?"
"No." His hand was warm in hers, calloused, familiar in a way that made her chest ache. "You don't understand. You're young."
"I might not understand how I can travel here, why I've been trying to get to you my whole life, or why I feel closer to you than anyone else in my life." She swallowed. "But I know why I'm here."
He finally looked at her then. The intensity in his eyes made her pulse stumble.
She held his gaze. "I'm here because I love you."
In her world. In the place she lived. She didn't even believe in love.
Love hurt. Love lied. Love used drugs. Love gave her away. Love passed her from one foster family to another without a second thought.
But here, with Finn, loving him was the hill she was going to die on.
The words hung between them, heavy, terrifying, and true. She had no experience of loving anyone and had never been loved in return, but she would learn.
His fingers flexed in hers. She held on. He had to trust her.
"Love," he whispered. "I don't... I don't know what that means."
Her heart cracked a little at his honesty. He wasn't being dramatic. He wasn't pushing her away. He was telling her the unfiltered truth.
She shifted closer, their knees brushing. The contact sent a warm rush through her when his pupils dilated.
"That's okay," she whispered. "I'll show you."
His breath came faster, his chest rising and falling in uneven pulls. She could feel the tension rolling off him. She now recognized it wasn't rejection.
He was older than she was, but his life in Everstill was very different from what she'd lived through.
His hesitation came from fear of the unknown.
"Kallie..." he murmured, a warning and a plea together.
She cupped his cheek. He flinched—not away, but toward her.
A tremor ran through him. She held on tighter. Given his past and life in Everstill, she was probably the first woman to touch him in years. Maybe decades. Maybe longer.
That fact turned her on more than she'd like to admit. When it came to Finn, she was a jealous bitch.
She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Soft. Barely a breath. A promise more than a kiss.
He had no idea how much he was part of her life, even when they weren't together. He was the constant. The one thing nobody could take away from her.
His hand tightened, and he leaned into her. Her heart raced, grasping at any little bit of attention he gave her.
Heat surged between them. Her back arched. His lips broke through her softness, demanding more. She parted her mouth, and his tongue sought entrance.
He broke away suddenly, breath ragged, eyes wide.
"Kallie," he said, voice strained. "If you keep kissing me, it'll go in a direction you're not ready for."
She moved her hands to his chest. "I am ready."
"Have you ever had sex?"
"When was I supposed to have time for that?" She exhaled loudly. "I don't think you realize I've worked full-time for the last two years since I left foster care. When I'm not working, I'm walking roads as far as I can, looking for you."
He cupped her neck, drawing her forward until his forehead touched hers. She breathed in his air. Her aroused body fed her temper.
"There's a lot I forget. One day blends into the next." He inhaled sharply. "But I never forgot you, Kallie with a K."
She crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm here now. I'll help you remember every day."
She twined her fingers in his hair. There was nothing she wouldn't promise him. They were together now. Neither of them had to be alone.
They had all the time in the world. She wanted to learn everything about him.
His eyes dropped to her lips again, and she felt the pull between them like a physical force. But before she could close the distance, his grip tightened, almost desperate.
"Kallie." He held her tight. "You can't ever go back through the veil."
She froze. "But, Finn—"
"Listen to me." His hands framed her waist, holding her still. "Whatever happens...whatever you think you need to do...you can't go back."
She searched his face. "Why?"
"It's not safe. People don't always make it through. I can't..." His voice deepened. "I can't lose you again."
She spread her hands on his chest. "Finn, we can leave together."
The lines at the corners of his eyes lengthened. "You don't know that."
"I do. I've walked here three times."
He shook his head. "You don't understand what this place does to a person. What it takes from each of us. What it—"
She silenced him with a soft kiss. "I'm here," she whispered. "If you want to stay, I'll stay. But Everstill isn't going to take anything from me, especially not you."
He rested his forehead against hers and exhaled softly. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. He was afraid of the unknown. She'd traveled back and forth. Nothing would happen to them.