Chapter 9 - Annalise
NINE
ANNALISE
I’m giddy, like full-on body shaking because I can’t contain my excitement giddy.
When I decided to make the trip up here, I never thought I’d get to put up a tree like this and decorate it.
As unhappy as I was when Sebastian showed up, I’m starting to wonder if it really was a blessing in disguise.
He’s taken so many things off my plate already, made me the best s’more I’ve had in my life, and now he’s cut down and dragged a tree all the way back to the cabin.
Tim never would have dragged a tree through the forest all so I could decorate it. I’m not even sure if he’d have had the strength to cut it down.
I shake the thoughts of my ex away as I watch Sebastian bring in the tree and set it up in the tree stand. I shimmy on my stomach under the tree and secure it, inhaling the scent, and hold in my squeal. I haven’t had a real tree since the last time we were here for Christmas, and I missed it.
Pushing out from under the tree, I stand and take her in.
She’s perfect. She’s not one of those ones you’d find at a tree farm in the city, where they’re practically uniform.
This one has character. It’s not fully even, showing what side has been able to prosper more than the other.
The top leans a little, but it can be trimmed enough to fit the star on straight, and that’s all that matters.
“What’s first?” Sebastian asks, and I beam up at him.
“Lights!”
He nods and holds his hand out for the first strand, and the thought of doing this together has my excitement ramping up.
I’ve always loved decorating the tree with my family and thought I’d do it with my partner, but Tim was never interested.
Sebastian isn’t my partner, but he was my friend at one point, so he’ll do for now.
He starts wrapping the lights around the bottom of the tree, making his way around it as he works up it.
When he finishes with the first strand, he easily moves on to the next until he gets to the top.
When he’s done, he takes a step back and stares at the tree before turning to me and asking, “Okay, how do you want me to fix it?”
I cock my head, and he grins at me.
“Lise, the tree must be perfect in your eyes, which usually means you readjusting things. So, how do you want me to fix the lights?”
I gnaw my lip. Damn, he has me pegged. I’ve always paid special attention to the tree, making sure there aren’t ornaments clumped together and the lights are positioned in such a way that the entire tree looks lit and the light can reflect off the ornaments.
He nudges me, and I reach in to adjust a few sections of lights, moving some further back towards the tree trunk and others closer to the ends of the branches.
When I turn to face Sebastian, he’s smiling at me.
Not a judgmental smile, but one of affection.
It has warmth filling my belly the same way it did as a teenager.
I spin, looking for the bins of decorations, needing to avoid his gaze.
I grab the first set of ornaments I find and start placing them on the tree.
Sebastian plays some Christmas music on his phone and joins me, working on the top of the tree where I can’t reach and helping make sure that even the back of the tree is decorated.
I hum and sing softly to the music, absorbing the joy of the holiday.
I smile as I move to the music, falling into another memory of our past.
Dad finally said we could go pick out a tree. Walker didn’t want to come this morning, but as we were getting ready, he changed his mind and him and Sebastian are now whispering behind Dad and me as we examine the trees we walk past, trying to find the perfect one for this year.
Dad’s talking about something, but I’m so zoned into looking for the perfect tree that I don’t catch any of what he’s saying.
After a few minutes, Sebastian walks up beside me and nudges me with his elbow. He tips his head towards our left, and I turn to follow his gaze, finding the most perfect tree.
“Dad!” I call, and he stops, facing me. I point at it, and I follow as he makes his way towards the tree to examine it.
“It’s not exactly straight, Lise.”
“So?” I ask.
“Do you really want this one?” Dad asks, and I nod.
“Can we just cut the tree and head back to the cabin?” Walker complains, and I roll my eyes.
Walker has never been as big on Christmas as me.
It’s been my favourite holiday since I was young.
Starting December first every year, I watch Christmas movies every day.
I convinced my parents to let me decorate my room.
I joined caroling groups and dragged Mom along with me.
I don’t know why Walker seems so anti-Christmas this year, though.
“I want this one,” I declare, and Dad nods, getting to work on cutting the tree down and finally getting Walker to help after a few minutes.
Sebastian nudges me with his hip, and I turn to look at him.
“You didn’t pick the prettiest one,” he muses. His voice is light, almost teasing, but there’s a hint of curiosity in it, too.
I shake my head. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I prefer character, one that looks like it’s weathered the storms and made it out the other side. A perfect tree lacks that.”
He nods, and his expression is like a puzzle piece is snapping into place for him. His eyes hold mine until Walker calls his name, and he offers me a soft smile before joining him.
Sebastian calls my name, pulling me from the memory, and holds out the star.
I look up at the tree and know there’s no way I’m getting it up there myself.
I search the room, looking for a sturdy chair I can stand on and try to reach.
As I search, Sebastian steps closer, so close that I feel his body heat against me, and my mouth dries as I inhale the scent of his cologne.
It’s masculine but not overpowering, cedar with subtle hints of vanilla to soften it.
“You could always get on my shoulders, Lise.”
Those words are enough to send goosebumps up my arms, and I fight to hold back a shiver. The times I thought about having Sebastian between my legs during that trip years ago did not have me on his shoulders putting the star on the Christmas tree.
He takes another step closer, and the air in my lungs stills. Sebastian is so close right now. I could brush the tip of my nose across his chest or rise on my tiptoes and brush my lips over his.
Don’t be an idiot, Lise. You don’t like this man, and for good reason. He completely broke your heart years ago, and you’re not going to let some sexual attraction change that.
I bite my lip and nod as I take a step back. I can totally get on his shoulders, put the star on, and think absolutely nothing more about it.
I know it’s a lie, but I tell myself it anyway.
Sebastian moves to the couch, and I stand on it while he crouches in front and I gently manoeuvre a leg over his shoulder.
His hand wraps around my calf, holding my leg to his chest so I can balance as I move my other leg over his opposite shoulder.
Goosebumps erupt under the fabric of my leggings despite the heat radiating from his hand.
I position myself and flex my core muscles, well what little in the way of ab muscles I have, and he stands. I jolt and close my eyes as I let out a breath, telling myself to ignore the fact that if I were just on the other side of his head, this could be a very different situation.
Sebastian holds up the star, and I take it from him, and he slowly moves closer to the tree.
I stretch and reach towards the tree, trying not to fall ass over teakettle onto the tree.
I manage to get the star on, and panic starts to race through me as now I’m thinking about how the hell I’m going to get down.