Chapter 5 Lottie
CHAPTER FIVE
LOTTIE
Once Leroy leaves, it’s Jenn who breaks the awkward silence: “I’m Jenn, by the way. I’m a bookseller here.” She sticks out her hand, which Knox takes with a small smile on his face. “It’s nice to meet you, Lennox.”
“Please. Call me Knox. We’re officially business partners now.” He shrugs, eyes gentle and kind.
Jenn’s eyes widen as she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “Whoa,” she gasps.
“You’re right.”
Knox laughs softly before shooting a smile in my direction.
Oh my god. Oh my god. So not only is Knox standing here, but thanks to Walter’s insane generosity—or is it just plain eccentricity?—now we’re all stuck in this shit storm of a situation.
I’m torn down the middle, completely conflicted.
On the one hand, the guy I’ve been daydreaming about is standing in front of me after I left him behind in the middle of the night like some kind of slutty, mid-thirties, modern Cinderella.
On the other, I cannot have him here. I cannot allow these feelings—whatever they may be—to develop.
Forget about the fact that I promised myself never to go there again on principle. He’s also way too young.
No. Nope.
“Jesus.”
Another painful pause.
“I’m sorry for getting so upset back there, by the way,” Jenn murmurs. “I think Lottie would agree with me in saying that Walter was way misunderstood—the guy really had zero rizz.” Rizz? Really? “Still, his generosity… Thinking of including us in this… It’s kinda overwhelming.”
“I gotta admit that I had a different experience with him growing up. But I’m happy he had a positive impact on other people’s lives,” Knox says, without a drop of sarcasm.
“He… He caught me crying behind the stacks about a week before he died. I haven’t told anyone, but I got into college in December—early decision—and the deadline for the deposit is coming up in a couple of months, but I just don’t have the cash.
” Jenn shrugs, sniffles. “I guess this was his way of helping out.”
“You got into college?” I breathe, a wide smile spreading across my face. “Jenny! Congrats!”
“Ew. Don’t call me Jenny—I’ve already told you a million times.”
I laugh softly, wrapping my arms around her, squeezing her tight once before releasing her. Teenagers.
“It’s just state. I’m not going to a fancy school like you did.” She shrugs, cheeks red. I nearly fall over in surprise. Jenn, blushing? Unheard of.
“But I thought you said that academia was a fascist institution and that the previous generations before yours were all brainwashed into thinking a degree will secure financial success, when in reality it has done the complete opposite to an entire generation, leaving them crippled and suffocated for the rest of their lives due to unnecessary debt?” She’s really not wrong about the securing financial success bit.
“I still think all those things are true, don’t get me wrong.
But I do need a degree to become a nurse so…
there it is. Plus, I might’ve also said that because I didn’t get anywhere last year.
But I reapplied and… I got in.” Her smile is wide and hopeful and I can’t help the way I pull her into my arms once more.
“That’s amazing. I mean, I have so many questions. Like, nursing?” Jenn is amazing, but she does not scream caregiver. “But so proud!”
She laughs and gently pushes me away. “So… I guess we should talk logistics?” she asks, surprising me with her sudden take-charge attitude.
She’s oozing initiative, which is wildly concerning.
This girl has been known to stand by while a literal fire started in our office that one time the toaster went crazy.
Love her to death, but no. Jenn is not what you’d call a “self-starter.”
“Well, I guess we just go to this meeting Leroy organized for us with the business manager. We can’t really do much now, can we?”
“Are we opening the store to the public for the time being or…?” Jenn hesitates.
She and Knox look back at me, unsure. I mull it over, thinking about what Walter would’ve wanted.
But I already know the answer: he wouldn’t even have bothered to close the day of his funeral, let alone the days following.
He would’ve said grieving over him for more than a day—or even at all—was a waste of time.
There is no doubt in my mind that Walter would’ve prioritized practicality over emotion.
“I can’t imagine the store being open without Walter… But he also would’ve wanted us to stay open. At least until we figure this whole thing out.”
Knox nods thoughtfully. “Okay. I trust your judgement. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt for the store to keep making money, right?”
Jenn snorts and I have to press my lips together to keep from laughing.
Knox has a lot to learn about the store’s success—or lack thereof.
Because Ceres Cove isn’t exactly known for its voracious appetite for reading—at least when it comes to the kinds of books the store sells.
Foot traffic has historically been a bit…
slow. Honestly, the fact that Walter has been able to keep the doors open this long has always been a mystery to me.
Sure, I’ve never had full access to our accounting, but I’m not stupid.
With how little we sell in a week, there’s no way we should’ve remained open this long.
It’s no use worrying Knox with this piece of lovely info yet, though. He clearly has a lot to process—we all do—and now just isn’t the time.
“Right,” I say, stretching out the word. “So, let’s open up for regular business hours starting tomorrow. Meet with the business manager, and then figure everything out based off of what they say.” I turn to Knox, trying to keep a wall up between us when I ask, “Is that okay with you?”
But now that the serious business is out of the way, he’s back to looking at me with almost the same amusement as before.
I guess some excitement was bound to dull given everything.
It’s not every day your estranged father leaves you his bookstore after his death to share with your one-night stand and a nineteen-year-old firecracker, now, is it?
“Yeah, that’s great.” Knox smiles. “Now there’s just the question of the apartment. D’you mind showing me where it is?” He takes a step closer, his scent filling my nostrils, weakening my knees. For a moment there, I sway. Jenn, the little traitor, stifles a giggle.
“Of course, Lottie will take you,” she tells him. “Meanwhile, I’ll just head out. Leave you two alone to… catch up. See you guys tomorrow.”
She winks in my direction behind Knox’s back while I restrain the urge to murder her.
I attempt to swallow the knot in my throat, and nod once. “Okay. Let me show you around, then.”
“You weren’t at the funeral,” I point out as we climb the stairs to the loft, the steps creaking under our weight.
“Couldn’t make it in time. I’d just made it to town from an assignment in South America when I met you at the bar.”
“Mmm,” is all I can manage as I try to keep my focus on taking the stairs one step at a time, and not on the delicious man behind me.
“This place is…”
“Old?” I finish his sentence, smiling.
He lets out a soft laugh. “Yes.”
“It just needs some TLC.” I shrug casually, keeping my eyes in front of me. “Be careful with the stairs; they’re super narrow. You definitely can’t have two people go side-by-side.”
He laughs, deeper this time. “I can’t say that I mind it right now, actually.”
I stop briefly to consider his words, looking over my shoulder at him only to catch his eyes on my ass. “Were you just—?”
“No,” he says too quickly. That trickster grin is back, ice-blue eyes warming every inch of my body. I glare at him, hating the effect he has on me. Jesus, why does he have to be so… So… Hot.
God, Lottie. What the hell is wrong with you? He was just blatantly staring at your ass. What kind of feminist are you? You should be angry. You should be yelling at him. Telling him to respect your body.
Except… We had such a good time when he was disrespecting it in bed. Wink wink.
I groan, rubbing my eyes under my glasses.
“You seem… conflicted.” I hear the smugness in his voice, and I grow frustrated with the way his grin tugs at something beneath my ribs.
I look up at him, irritated. “Can we just focus?”
“Sure.” But I narrow my eyes at him, holding his gaze until his smile falls. “I promise to keep my eyes on the steps.”
Once we reach the landing, I stick my hand out palm up. “Keys.”
He places them in my hand, his fingers grazing my skin with the lightest of touches, and I hate myself for the small gasp that escapes my lips.
I turn my back on him, fingers shaking as I try to fit the key in the lock.
“Are we going to talk about it?” He asks, his deep voice close to my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I can feel the heat radiating off his body, warming mine.
“Talk about what?” I try for my most innocent voice, but the shakiness betrays me. I pray to god, to Taylor Swift—to anyone who might hear me—to help me open this goddamn door as quickly as possible. Anything to avoid having this conversation right now.
“You know what. The amazing night we had. How you snuck out without so much as a goodbye. No way to contact you the next morning.” His voice is low in my ear as I struggle with the lock of Walter’s door.
Jeez, this key. What the hell is wrong with it? Maybe if I—
“Lottie.”
I groan. “Fine. Let’s talk about it in the cramped landing of your dead dad’s—”
“Walter’s.”
“—apartment.” I place my hands on my hips and try not to let myself be hypnotized by the clear blue of his eyes, try not to notice the occasional shades of green near his pupils.
“Why would you have needed to contact me again? It’s fine.
I knew it was a one-night stand, so there’s no need to make a big deal about it. No hard feelings.”