Chapter 6 Lottie #2
“I really want to kiss you,” he says, his voice rough. “But I’m not about to do it in my dead father’s apartment five seconds after seeing you again. Even though I’ve spent every goddamn second of the last couple of days wondering where the hell you went.”
I inhale sharply.
“You left in the middle of the night.”
“I know.”
“That’s fucked up. It wasn’t a nice thing to do.”
I nod in agreement. And I know in that moment that I was no better than his father, leaving him alone without explanation, without another word. “I know.”
“Don’t do that again,” Knox says in a commanding tone that runs all the way down my spine to my toes, electrifying me.
I want to ask whether he means for me not to do it with another man in general, or whether he’s making the assumption that we’ll get there again.
But I don’t, because I don’t know which answer scares me the most. The idea of me wanting to hook up with another guy right now seems wildly unlikely.
To be perfectly honest, I’m pretty sure if real-life Henry Cavill showed up, tossed me over his shoulder fireman-style, and threw me on a king-sized mattress to have his way with me I’d be wholly unimpressed.
But if it were Knox… Well, it’s exactly the excitement that starts to build at the thought alone that stops me in my tracks.
Neither of those two sound appealing, though for different reasons, of course.
I’d climb Knox like a tree right now if I weren’t so freaked out.
For a moment, we simply stare into each other’s eyes, the air around us filling with the same odd electricity as before. Somehow, I manage to break away, keeping my gaze laser-focused on my boots.
“I should probably get out of here,” I mutter, feeling my cheeks blush.
“You mean, before I make a move on you?” His laugh is gentle, rueful, almost.
I clear my throat, willing my feet to move. Unfortunately, it feels like they’ve been tied to the floor. Or turned into cinderblocks. Rendered immobile.
“Yes,” I admit.
“Because this is my dead father’s apartment?”
“Yes.”
“And it feels kinda wrong?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Hmm.” He nods, looking disappointed. “Yeah, I can see how that doesn’t look great. Plus, all these books… and the dust. Not exactly a turn-on is it?”
I want to laugh out loud, because the warmth coursing through my veins would say otherwise.
Honestly, I don’t think there’s any environment right now you can stick me in that I wouldn’t be crazy turned on by him.
But he doesn’t need to know that. Instead, I tell him, “No, it isn’t.
Although your dad would probably encourage us despite it all. ”
He laughs once, startled. “What? He would?”
“Yes.” I laugh softly. “He never pressured me to date anyone, but he wanted me to be happy and have fun. Wanted me to find someone ‘full of life’ who could give that to me.”
“Did he have someone in particular in mind for you?” He grins, but I don’t miss the brief tightness in his smile or the shift in his eyes.
“No, I don’t think so. He wouldn’t ever have even considered it. Walter wasn’t playing matchmaker or anything. It was never his style to get involved.” It was why he was the only person I allowed to make comments about my love life—because he rarely ever did.
“So, you’re saying I don’t have competition, then? That I’m your number one pick?” He smiles, his earlier tension forgotten, and I roll my eyes.
“The only reason you don’t have competition is because you aren’t even in the running,” I tell him, trying not to let him get too cocky.
“C’mon. We both know that isn’t true. We had an amazing night together.”
“Had being the key word, here. And did we not just talk about this already? Jesus.”
“You gonna tell me you haven’t thought about it since?”
“No,” I reply too quickly, my cheeks heating—a dead giveaway.
Knox smiles—perfect teeth, warm, full lips.
He takes a step closer. “You sure? Because I can’t stop thinking about how soft your skin felt beneath my fingertips.
The way your teeth bit into my shoulder when I pushed into you the first time.
Or the way you called out my name when you came and came and came. ”
I gape at him, my breathing shallow. I’m trying so hard to hide how much this is really affecting me, but I’m tired.
The past few days have been draining. Between Walter’s death, my endo flare-up, and the fact that Knox and I are pretty much stuck together for the time being?
It’s disorienting. All of it is disorienting.
Knox takes another step closer, and once again I’m overwhelmed by his very presence, his scent fogging my head, dulling my other senses, and certainly clouding my judgment.
“You know what else I remember?” He asks, his voice low, face inches apart from mine. “I remember the way you pulled at my hair when you came. I remember thinking you were like honey on my tongue. I remember thinking I’d never tasted anything better.”
A whimper escapes my lips, my eyes locked on his as I feel the warmth spread through every inch of my body.
A sharp inhale. “You can’t—You can’t just do that.”
I feel the heat of his body against every line of mine. Or maybe that’s me. Maybe I’m the one on fire. I want him, yes. But this is wrong for so many reasons. It’s a no for so. Many.
Reasons. I just need to remind myself of them now.
“This is insane. It isn’t happening.” I keep my eyes closed as I speak, shaking my head. “We should stop.” But I really don’t want to.
He laughs softly. “Fine.”
My eyes fly open, shoulders sagging. “Wow. You give up quickly.” I scoff, equal parts relieved and disappointed.
“Give up?” He snorts. “No way. I haven’t given up. I’m gonna show you that you’re wrong. I’m gonna show you that this thing between us wasn’t a one-night-stand. You’re just not ready to see that yet, and it’s okay. We have time.”
But we don’t. You’re going to leave eventually. One way or another.
“I think you’re delusional. And I think it’s time I go home, leave you to deal with this by yourself.”
Finally, I manage to muster the emotional fortitude to make my way to the door. But just as I’m about to pull it shut behind me, he calls out: “Alright, Pretty Girl. I’ll win you over some other way.”