5. Silas
CHAPTER 5
Silas
I throw open the door and slide out of the car. I need a fucking drink, today couldn’t have gone any worse. Nothing has been resolved, and I’m angrier than I have ever been. Yet, I know that what’s happened has torn us apart, and there’s nothing I can do to fix that.
I storm into the house and stalk toward the kitchen, my gaze directed at the bottle of whiskey that’s on the countertop. It’s as though someone knew that I needed it.
“Silas…” Caston says, and I glance at him, the anger in my body still simmering. “What the fuck happened?”
“A fucking shit show.” It’s the only way that I can think of what happened. “She wasn’t even there.” I pour myself a drink and down it in one, loving the burn as it slides down my throat.
He frowns, “What the hell? Isn’t it a fucking school day?” I would laugh at the protectiveness in his voice. He’s never met Payton before, but he knows everything about her.
“Yeah.” That’s why I went, I was fucking positive that she’d be there. She wasn’t. “I ended up speaking to her aunt.” I pour another glass, and that’s when Caston moves, he takes the bottle from my hand. “Fuck,” I growl as I down the glass of whiskey.
“What?” I hear the worry in his voice.
“She did come here that day.” His eyes widen. “She walked in while that bitch Julia was trying to come on to me. I pushed her away, but from what Payton’s aunt says, what Pay saw was bad, and she believes that I was cheating on her.”
“Fucking hell,” he whispers, and I nod. “What are you going to do?”
I sigh, “I’ve no idea. She’s changed her cell number, she’s hardly home according to Tyler.” Right now, I’m fucking pissed, my girl believes I’ve cheated on her, and there’s no way that I can change her mind about that as I have no way of contacting her.
“What do you want?” he asks, and I know what he’s thinking.
“I want her. I’ll always want her.” It’s the truth, I know deep down in my bones that Payton is the only woman for me.
He nods, “I feel the same about Saya.” We’re silent, both of us thinking, I’m trying to think about what I could do to get her back. “I hate to say this, Si, I really do, and I’d probably kill you if roles were reversed, but your girl has been through a lot. Too much. Give her time, and then go get her.”
I’m moving toward him before I can stop myself. “Don’t fucking say that,” I growl. “She’s mine.”
He nods, not even batting an eyelid at me advancing on him. “She is, believe me, I know. But, Si, things right now are shit. Focus on football, get to where you want to be, then go and get your girl.”
I walk away before I send my fist into his face. Can I really just give her up? That’s never even crossed my mind before, nor will it ever again. Yes, I’ll leave her be for now, but she’s mine, and that means I’m going to wait until I can finally get her to see that.
I groan as the sunlight hits my eyes. I wince when I move, my head pounding as pain radiates inside. God, how much did I drink last night?
Images bombard my mind, my hands on a woman, her mouth on my cock. No. Fuck no . We didn’t do that? I shake my head, and even more images come through. Fuck. I had sex with her. My stomach rolls at the mere thought.
A soft moan comes from beside me, and I close my eyes as tears fill them. What have I done?
Fingers trail up my body and I grasp them to stop the assent. God, what the hell was I thinking? Opening my eyes, I glance at the blonde woman beside me. She’s pretty, as are most of the football groupies. They’re all blonde, big tits, and a lot of makeup. Not my type at all, but you can’t deny they’re pretty. “Time for you to go,” I say, my voice low and full of anger. I never thought I’d be one of those guys, the ones that use women just for the sake of it. And yet here I am, kicking the woman beside me out of bed, and I don’t even know her name.
“You’re still pining after her, aren’t you?” She shakes her head in disgust as she slides out of bed, not at all embarrassed by her naked body. “God, you’re pathetic.”
“Yet, you’re the one that still let me fuck you,” I fire back, my anger bubbling to the surface.
Her face contorts in rage. “Asshole. You’re just like the rest.”
I reach down to where her dress is and throw it to her. “Get the hell out,” I snap.
She pulls the dress on, all the while glaring at me. “What’s your precious princess going to think when she finds out that you fucked me? Hmm?”
“Get the fuck out!” I roar, my breath coming out in pants.
She scurries out of my room like a fucking rat. She’s right though, screwing her was a sure-fire way to ensure that Payton and I would never get back together.
The door opens, and in walks Caston. “Bro, seriously?” he asks with a frown.
I groan, “I know, okay. I fucked up.”
He shakes his head, “When I told you to give her time, I didn’t mean for you to jump into bed with a fucking groupie.”
I run my hand through my hair, “I know, I fucking know.” My throat closes up, “I’ve lost her, Cas, I’ve fucking lost her.” The first tear falls and I sink onto my bed.
She threw us away, she didn’t even give me the chance to explain, to fix things between us. She took away the only thing I loved in this life—her.
“You’ve made a mistake, one that she’ll understand.” He’s trying to make me feel better, but that’s not going to work.
“You don’t get it, she distanced herself because she thought I cheated on her. I’ve just shown her that I have.” Fucking hell. I’m an asshole, I never thought I’d do this to her. “She pushed me away. Had she fucking spoken to me, I would have reassured her.”
The more I think about her running away, the angrier I’m getting. She did this to us, she threw us away.
No matter how angry I am, I can’t stop the guilt from eating away at me for what happened last night. It can’t happen again. I just pray that if I ever get the chance to see her again, I’ll never let her go.