Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Kat
Tuesday and Wednesday were easier with Miles not coming into work since he needed to focus on the food truck while Anthony was still sick.
Clarissa had reached out to a friend who had two bored teenagers who needed more spending money, so they’d come in and helped in the kitchen with basic stuff, like dishes and prep work, until everyone recovered from the stomach bug that was going around.
I’d felt stressed out that the competition was right around the corner, and I had less than a week to finish preparing for it. What was supposed to be a fun, lighthearted way to shut Miles up had turned into something huge and terrifying for me, knowing that Luka would be judging it.
I’d gotten to Ambrosia Thursday afternoon before Miles and was busy working on the menu for next week when he’d walked in.
“Hey,” he said happily, sending my heart pitter-pattering in my chest.
“Hi.”
His brows furrowed slightly at my tone as he went to his station and set his stuff down.
“Everything alright?”
“Fine.” I kept my head down and tried to remember what I was supposed to be doing.
I tried taking slow, soothing breaths to help calm me, but when he stood beside me and I felt his gaze on me, it stopped working.
“Kat,” he said more as a warning than my name.
“What?” I refused to look up at him. I wrote down a bunch of random notes, not sure that I’d have any idea what they were supposed to mean later when I felt his hand close over mine to stop me.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I’m just busy.” Giving up, I dropped the pen and pulled my hand out of his grasp. I tried to keep the emotion off my face, but as his eyes searched my face, I knew he could read me.
“Bullshit.”
“Excuse me?” I folded my arms over my chest and tilted my head.
“I said that’s bullshit. Something is wrong, I can see it all over your face.”
“You don’t know me well enough to read my mood from my face.”
“I know you better than you think.”
He kept his spot next to me and leaned a hip against the counter, effectively pinning me in the corner again. Why did he always have to find a way to trap me in such close proximity?
“Now I’m calling bullshit,” I snorted but felt my neck tingle as a blush crept up as he lifted a finger and rubbed it across his bottom lip. My eyes were laser-focused on the action as my body betrayed me again and leaned slightly toward him.
He waited me out for a few minutes, playing with his lip as if it didn’t have a catastrophic impact on me. He knew it did, I could see it in his eyes as they lit up every time I watched him.
“Is this about what happened on Monday?” he asked gently.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Because you just happen to know everything?” I bit out sarcastically.
“More than you think.”
“Okay, fine, yes, I’m upset about what happened on Monday. There, are you happy?”
“Why are you upset about it?”
I threw my hands in the air as my eyes widened at him. Why wouldn’t I be? He was there, he knew what had happened. It had repeatedly been playing in my head ever since, and the guilt of what I’d done had been eating away at me.
“Why wouldn’t I be? It was completely irresponsible and reckless of me to do that.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re not dating, and I let you finger me in the bathroom like it was no big deal. On top of that, I let my team down. We were in the middle of a rush, and instead of being out here to support them, I was hiding in the bathroom doing dirty stuff!”
He pushed his lips together and watched me.
“You’re feeling guilty over two things that you shouldn’t.
First—your team was just fine. You saw that for yourself when we came back, and nothing had fallen apart.
I love that you’re a team player and wanted to help out, but you also weren’t in any headspace to be helpful to them.
You were wound so tight that you were distracted—hence your finger almost getting cut off. ”
“But—”
He held his hand up to stop me.
“Second, there is absolutely no reason you should feel upset or ashamed over what happened in the bathroom, Kat. We are two adults who consented to what happened. Do you not deserve to have pleasure?”
I pulled my head back and frowned.
“Yes, but—”
“No buts, Kat. Either you believe you deserve to have pleasure, or you don’t.
My point is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed if it was something you wanted.
Women are highly sexual beings, and I love that about them.
Just because society says that you shouldn’t be allowed to seek it out without feeling shameful for it doesn’t mean that you have to do what society says. ”
My jaw dropped open as he talked.
“And for the record,” he whispered and leaned closer. “You look fucking gorgeous when you come. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You wanted pleasure, and I gave it to you, simple as that.”
He pulled back and raised his brows at me.
“I can’t tell you to stop feeling guilt over these things, but I can assure you that I feel it’s misplaced, and maybe you’re focusing on feeling guilty because it’s easier than allowing yourself to admit that you might have felt something when I touched you.”
“I—” I shook my head and snapped my jaw shut. It was like he had some magic spell on me, and I couldn’t think straight.
What he said made sense, but it wasn’t that easy to just give up the guilt that I’d felt and embrace the power he was talking about.
What would it feel like to have sex with someone simply because I wanted to be fucked and not worry about what people would think if they found out?
My mom’s voice echoed far off in the depths of my mind, reminding me of how a lady should act and being openly sexual, wasn’t it.
Plus, it was true, I had felt something when he touched me, and I hadn’t stopped thinking about since.
Even when I’d slipped my hand into my panties last night to deal with the lingering frustration I felt from wanting him to touch me again.
I’d imagined it had been his hand instead of mine, and that thought alone had me coming in seconds.
“Being attracted to me isn’t such a terrible thing,” he said, pushing away. “And just for the record, I could make you feel ten times better than I did the other night. Consider that a preview.”
He winked and walked over to his station, getting ingredients together as if nothing had just happened between us.