Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Riley
Tonight marks one week since I gave myself to him, the night of the bonfire.
It tears me apart to know I’ll never feel the heat of his lips caressing mine or his body pressed intimately against me.
I wish with all my heart that I could turn back time, go back to last week, so I could cherish every moment, knowing it was the beginning of the end.
I’m not ready to start the day, so I throw my blanket over my head and roll over. I hope I can close my eyes and let sleep take over for at least a few hours. I’m not ready to face the world without Hunter being a part of it.
When I jolt awake, my heart pounds in my chest. I must have been in the middle of a nightmare when something woke me up. Whatever it was, I’m thankful. Propping myself up on my elbows, I look around; I don’t see or hear anything unusual.
My phone is still on the comforter, right where I left it last night in case Ashley called.
Is that what woke me up? Taking a few deep breaths, I unlock my phone to find no missed calls and not a single text from Hunter.
It doesn’t surprise me, and now I’m desperate for a shower, so I grab some clean clothes and head to the bathroom.
For someone with nowhere to go, I spend a lot of time getting ready.
Am I stalling? It’s possible, since I woke up with a horrible headache that won’t go away, even after my shower.
That makes me realize I really need caffeine, so I head downstairs.
My need for coffee far surpasses my need for privacy.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I walk into the kitchen — it’s empty.
Good, I’m not ready to face anyone just yet.
I’m sitting at the island with a cup of coffee in one hand and a blueberry scone in the other.
It’s the little things in life that make me happy sometimes.
Until I look up and see Hunter smiling at me; it’s only the newspaper from a few days ago, but it still unnerves me.
I quickly flip it over, so I don’t have to look at that gorgeous smile. So much for the little things in life.
Throwing the rest of my scone in the trash, I take my coffee upstairs. Time to check those messages and see if they need to be deleted or if I can answer them.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts before grabbing my phone.
There are a few new messages from Ashley, but none from Hunter—so why am I disappointed?
I’m sure Emma is keeping him company. Do I really believe that, or was it just an easy excuse for me?
The words he said while I was rushing out the door keep replaying in my mind.
You couldn’t be more wrong. Even if I am, I still have to let him go because I don’t want to give him any reason to blame me later.
I dial Ashley’s number, worried I’ll break down as soon as I hear her voice.
“Riley, I have some bad news.” She sounds like she’s been crying.
“What’s wrong, Ashley?” I feel my heart skip a beat.
“It’s my grandmother; she’s really sick and I won’t be able to come visit you,” she sniffles, and my heart goes out to her.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I were there to give you a big hug. Would you like me to come see you instead?” I don’t like the idea of running into my mom, but I’ll do anything for her.
“Thanks, but we spend so much time going back and forth to the hospital that it wouldn’t be practical for you to come. Some days I wish we were twelve years old again; life was so much easier back then.” I hear her mom calling her.
“If you need me, just call me. I don’t care what time it is. Bye, Ash.” I remember going to her grandmother’s with her when we were kids. She was the kindest person I’d ever met.
As I step out onto the balcony, I feel the oppressive heat hit me like opening an oven door.
The clouds are dark and swirling; a storm is definitely forming somewhere out there.
Looking up at the sky, I feel the first few drops of rain land on my face.
Then the clouds suddenly open, and it begins to pour.
I don’t know how much time passes before I realize that my tears are mixing with the rain.
Hugging myself as tightly as I can, I try to control the sobs that are clawing their way out.
Finally, I let them go. In that moment, I’m releasing all the sorrow that’s destroyed my life since I was six years old.
When I press my hand to my chest, it truly feels like my heart is breaking, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
So I stand outside in the rain, hoping it will wash away my pain so I can be brave enough to face another day.
* * *
Hunter
Since the day’s a washout, I decide to head to the cottage a little earlier than planned.
I had intended to take Riley with me for the weekend, but after everything that happened yesterday, yeah, that’s not happening.
I couldn’t stay there any longer, knowing I might run into her at the pool or on a run.
I’m hurt that she’d even think I’d cheat on her.
I’ve told her many times: you’re the only one for me.
Well, I guess her women’s intuition was right, and Emma has had a crush on me for years. How was I supposed to know that? It kind of freaks me out, though, since I think of her as my little sister, not as a girlfriend.
They did arrest Drew last night, and Zoe promised me she could stay at her place if he made bond.
Knowing that gives me some peace of mind, and Connor said he would stay nearby in case they needed him.
He doesn’t know about the cottage; I just told him I needed to get away after what happened with Riley yesterday.
I packed my clothes and tossed them into the Jeep before work this morning, so I don’t need to go home.
However, I still need to stop at the grocery store and the liquor store along the way.
Since Riley won’t be there, I won’t have any distractions to help me get through the pain this weekend will bring, so I’ll need some liquid courage.
After picking up what I needed, I drive to the cottage.
I can’t help but smile as I head down the driveway and see the colorful hanging plants adorning the porch.
My neighbor Mary waters them faithfully every day and feeds them once a month.
She insisted after my grandparents died that she wanted to do this for them. I thought it was a great idea.
Once I put the groceries away, I decide to go for a run. It’s still raining, but that doesn’t bother me. Changing my shoes, I opt not to wear my AirPods just in case it starts to storm. I’ll hear the rumble of thunder in the distance, so I can head back.
As I start running down the beach, I can’t help but think about Riley. I had hoped this weekend would be a fresh start for me, filled with new memories to replace the images of Brady that are forever in my mind. Sadly, she won't be coming, so I have to spend another year reliving his death alone.
I stop running long enough to catch my breath and take a few sips from my water bottle when I hear thunder rumbling in the distance. That’s my cue to turn around and head back.
I make it back just in time before the heavens open up and lightning flashes across the sky. My clothes are soaked, so I grab some sweats and a T-shirt from my bag to change into. My shower will have to wait until the storm passes.
It gets dusty because no one lives here, so I have to peel back the sheet covering the couch.
Once I grab my phone, I walk to the fridge to get a beer, convincing myself I’m thirsty from my run.
I scroll through my phone to check for any new messages—nothing.
Maybe I was hoping Riley had time to calm down and realize she made a mistake.
Who am I kidding? I saw the way she looked at me as she slammed the door.
I can't wrap my head around the fact that we’re over, before we even had a chance to start.
Finishing my beer with a few long pulls, I push myself up to grab another one. Feeling a buzz already, I realize I haven’t eaten anything all day. No worries: I didn’t come here for a vacation, but to remember a little boy who died because of me.