Chapter 6
Lizzie
“What’s happening here?” I whispered as Van wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer. He rested his head against my chest, and I was sure he could feel my heart pounding inside.
“I’m huggin’ you.”
“Yes, I know that, but you feel it right? This thing between us. It was there that night at Manny’s too.”
“Yeah. It’s not your imagination.” He hugged harder. “You know, all you had to do if you wanted to find me was call Manny. He knows me.”
“Seriously?” I squeaked, and I swatted the back of his head playfully.
“Yup. You were too lost in your sorrows that night, but if you’d been payin’ attention, you would’ve heard him almost say my name when I came in.”
“Now you tell me.”
He pulled back and looked up at me. “I hated watchin’ you drive away, but it wouldn’t have been a good time to start anything. Not for me, anyway.”
I nodded. “Me either. I needed a new life. If I’d stayed for any reason, I would’ve gone back to med school. I’d probably be a really unhappy doctor right now.”
“I’m proud of you for followin’ your dreams, Lizzie.”
My heart swelled. “Thank you.”
So badly, I’d wanted to hear those words from my father, but when they came from Van’s mouth, they meant something more.
I couldn’t explain it. And I couldn’t explain whatever this pull was between us.
In his arms, it felt like all the bad stuff I’d gone through these last six years hadn’t happened.
Like I was still that na?ve young woman who hadn’t even begun to live her life yet.
He kept saying we were so different though.
Did that mean he thought there was no chance for us?
I mean, granted, we barely knew each other, but didn’t we owe it to ourselves to explore?
I mean, c’mon. There was no other explanation; it was fate that brought me up to the cabin for Christmas. It had to be.
Maybe the reason we’d both been through the ringer was so that we could end up here. Together. Two lonely souls destined to love each other.
I decided to drop it for now. It was craziness for me to expect him to jump right into something with me. Especially because my life was sure to take over his. And I’d just been kicked right out of a way-too-long situationship that could quite literally ruin my career.
“The fire feels nice,” I said.
Van smiled, scooted away from my legs, and sat back against the armchair across from the couch. “You ready to tell me now?”
“Tell you what?” I asked innocently, but I knew exactly what he wanted to know.
The corner of his mouth tipped down. “I can be patient. I waited six years for you, didn’t I?”
How was I supposed to not plan a wedding in my mind when he said things like that?
He jumped up. “Well, I guess you’ll wanna wash up.”
“Wait. Where are you going?”
“I was gonna head home, see if I can’t find the doc’s cell phone number and grab my phone.
I need to feed Fowl.” He looked at the dog who lay resting his head on top of his paws, unmoving in front of the fire.
Fowl looked plenty content to me. “The bathroom’s just through there,” he said, nodding, and then walked down the hall when it didn’t seem like I was going to move. “There’s clean towels…”
When I followed, he stepped to the side and tried to flatten his back against the wall so I could get around him, but I didn’t want to get around him.
I wanted to be closer. I wanted to crawl beneath his skin.
Lifting my eyes to his, all of a sudden I was back there.
Back in that parking lot six years ago, wrapped around him and looking up at him before he kissed me.
“Van?”
I knew he felt the magnetic pull between us when he whispered, “Yeah?”
I opened my mouth but didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say, but I needed him.
Wanted him.
He stared at my lips, and I licked them. He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, but I didn’t like that because it shut off my ability to read him.
“What are you thinking right now?”
He opened his eyes then, and they traveled over my hair and my face, and then he fit his thumb softly over the dimple in my chin. “I was thinkin’ about how much I’ve missed you.”
“How could you miss me? We barely know each other.”
Breathing a laugh, he murmured, “I know you, Lizzie. You’re the same girl who loves her mama and keeps the memories of her alive in your heart.
I hear it in your songs all the time. You’re still tryin’ to make your dad proud, even though you know you don’t need his approval.
You’ve conquered the world. Shit, you practically run it.
Even if I hadn’t followed your career, I would’ve seen you.
Eli Winter’s face is everywhere.” Pulling me closer, he kissed my forehead softly.
“You listen to my songs?” I whispered, pressing my mouth to his shoulder. He cleared his throat nervously but didn’t answer, so I hugged him tighter. “Please don’t let go.”
More tears had been building up behind my smile since we walked into the cabin, and now, surrounded by him, by his clean-leather and crisp-snowfall smell, they fell down my cheeks in fat drops.
“Lizzie?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t talk. If I did, I might bawl like a baby.
“Dammit. I did it again. Darlin’, what’s wrong?” His arms gripped me tighter. I’d never been hugged so tightly, and the feeling of falling crashed over me like a tsunami, but it wasn’t a startled, grasping-for-purchase kind of falling.
I was falling into Van, into the calm safety he offered.
I hugged back as hard as I could, trying to hide the strength of my tears. Even surrounded by people every day, everywhere I went, there I was. I was alone all the time. I’d been so alone for so long, and now, I felt anything but.
I felt protected, and it felt like Van saw me. The real me. He had that night at the bar too. How could he do that so easily when the rest of the world only saw the things I wanted them to see?
Van saw everything.
“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Please, I just need a minute.”