Chapter 11
Lizzie
Um… huh?
Van set me down on the couch and left without another word. The door banged shut behind him, but we hadn’t even finished the tree. Had I upset him that much asking him to tell me what had happened to him and Ty?
Suddenly, I realized that without him the cabin felt painfully empty.
I didn’t like that. I didn’t like the realization that I wasn’t comfortable without another human being standing right next to me, and then it dawned on me that maybe that was the whole reason I’d found myself in the mess I was in.
I had to believe Van would come back. I just wasn’t sure what he’d say when he did.
So instead of trying to find things to occupy myself until I could be entertained and adored again, I decided just to… be.
I sat on the couch and looked around the cabin.
It was old and a little rundown in places.
The carpet in the bedroom was stiff and out of date.
The fireplace was missing a few stones here and there, and the furniture definitely needed an upgrade, but the place had a rustic feel.
The bare-wood slats running the length of the roof and crisscrossed with hefty beams felt safe and protecting.
The bronze sconces on the walls were old but the light coming from them was golden warm.
When my grandparents bought the place, I bet Grammy had a ball decorating the cabin, adding touches here and there to make guests feel welcome and at ease.
And that was exactly how I felt being here.
Before I knew it, I was lounging on the couch, humming Holly’s songs, and the words came to me in rushes until I finally stood to find a pen.
I wrote them down, one by one as the hours passed.
And then new songs introduced themselves to me.
A Christmas song, a song about loneliness and forgiveness, and a song about… long lost love.
I didn’t have my guitar, but I heard the notes in my head. Chords began to weave in and out of my mind, and by the time I wrote the last line, I felt a peacefulness and a sense of pride I’d never before felt.
Sure, I loved all my songs. You really had to when you were expected to sing them over and over, night after night. But these songs were different. They’d come from a place inside me I never knew existed.
Until now.
Until Van.
The door banged open, and I dropped my pen. It rolled off the table and onto the floor, and as I bent to grab it, Van’s big, wet boots appeared in my face.
He planted his feet shoulder width apart. “So,” he said, “you don’t think I’m nuts even though I see and talk to my dead brother, but would you change your mind if I told you I love you?”
“You love me?” I whispered as I sat up, my heart racing, but I locked my eyes on Van’s.
“I think I’ve loved you my whole life, Lizzie,” he said.
“You feel right in my life and in my arms, and if leavin’ my mountain and all my memories behind is what I have to do to be close to you, I think I’m ready to do it.
Ty would kick my ass if he knew I’d given up my shot at lovin’ you for him.
And he’d be right to… you know, if he wasn’t a figment of my imagination.
“Here,” he said, and he handed me a rucksack that was damp and still covered in snow.
“What’s this?” I asked as I stood.
“Open it.”
When I tugged on the zipper, Van spun on his boot and walked back to the open front door.
He disappeared again, but just as I pulled the notebook I’d been missing from the bag, he reappeared with the Taylor guitar I loved more than my own life.
With the neck resting comfortably in his large, rough hand, he held it out to me.
The notebook was safe, not water damaged at all. And the Taylor was so beautiful, still oily and shiny from its last cleaning, that I wanted to cry now that I could see it was safe too.
I felt Holly’s spirit inside me as I stood. I could feel Mama too. They both would’ve been happy for me and excited for this next adventure in my life.
“I love you too, Evan Moran,” I declared, and as I took a step closer to him, the loose papers I’d been writing songs on scattered and floated to the floor.
I dropped the pen, lifted the guitar out of his hands and set it on the table, and then I launched myself into his arms. He caught me easily.
“Maybe you’re nuts, but I’m right there with you.
And we don’t have to give up our memories of Ty or my mama.
We’ll take them with us wherever we go, just like I’ve carried you with me since that night six years ago, but it’s about damn time we stop letting our memories steal away our dreams and desires.
“I don’t want you to leave your mountain behind for good, because I want to be here with you.
I want a family with you, and I want our kids to play in the meadow just like we did.
We’ll have campfires and roast marshmallows, and when we go out on tour or wherever life takes us, we’ll be together, and we will make our own rules. Forge our own path.”
I smiled up at him and he held my face between his hands.
“Sound good to you?”
He smiled. He was so beautiful that I went weak in my knees, but Van held me up.
“I think you might be the crazy one in this scenario,” he said, “fallin’ for a guy like me, but yeah, that sounds like a goddamn dream come true.”
“It won’t matter what anyone says about us, about our pasts, our present, or our future, because we’ll have each other, and the only opinions we’ll care about will be our own.”
“Damn straight, little missy,” he said, and he picked up his hat from his head and plopped it on top of mine.
I gasped and brought my hand up to my neck in shock. “Van! Do you know what you’ve done?”
“Yes, ma’am, I do. You’re wearin’ my hat. I just claimed you.”
Feeling my cheeks heat and probably blush an embarrassing shade of pink, I pulled the length of my hair over my shoulder. Van’s eyes smoldered, and my heart beat like there was a drum inside my chest. I’d never felt such happiness.
“I know you did, cowboy,” I said, and I pressed my lips to his. “But I’m claiming you, too, and you best believe I won’t ever let you go.”