Chapter 1
Shaw
Crazy Mountains, Montana — Present Day
Breathing in the crisp morning air in the middle of May, I can detect just a hint of the winter remnants as I watch the sun rise while sipping my first cup of coffee before getting ready for the day. Spring is officially here, and that means a lot of work around the ranch.
My operation isn’t anything too large or fancy, and for the most part, I can handle the day to day operation by myself.
I have a couple of part-time ranch hands and one full-time, plus my housekeeper, Rita.
She does more than just clean up after me.
She also cooks and helps with the books when I’m too busy to keep up.
“Mooooo.”
I can hear Marilyn off in the distance as she calls for the calf she lost. Mari is a unique heifer.
When I retired to Eagle Rock, Montana, a little over a year ago, she was my second purchase at a slaughtering auction.
I understand her pain. The emptiness that consumes her controlled me for a time after my last mission that left me too injured to remain as an active duty Delta Force operative.
My hip was shattered in a bombing two years ago, and I had to have a complete replacement.
Even now, as the sun is still rising and I sip my coffee, I can feel the residual pain.
Coming to the Crazy Mountains of Montana and buying this ranch has been the only impulsive thing I’ve done in my life. My friend Draven Banks had convinced me this was the place I needed to recover and move on with my life. I came for a visit and never left.
At the sounds of Rita in the kitchen getting breakfast ready for me and my full-timer, Kane, I head inside to see if she wants help that I already know she’ll refuse.
The great thing about Rita is that she’s more like a mother, and the only family I have around.
My parents are retired and cruising the world one ship at a time.
Well-deserved, too. My father was an Army man, like me, until he retired at forty and figured out that he was good at the stock market.
After spending twenty-five years buying and selling things I’ll never understand, he finally called it quits for good, and I’ve never seen them happier.
“Morning, Rita.” I kiss her cheek as she whisks up some eggs.
“Morning, Shaw. You have a message on the machine in your office.” She never ceases to amaze me. First thing she does is check messages because I like to enjoy the sunrise each morning before work picks up; she, however, keeps me organized.
“I’ll go check them now. Holler if you need me.” After refilling my coffee, I head to my office, shutting the door and hitting play on the machine.
“Hey, Remington, it’s Draven. Look, I’ve got a big favor to ask. I’ll be there in the morning to discuss the details. Have the coffee on.” As soon as the message ends, I hear his truck in the driveway.
The only favors Draven asks me for is when the company he works for, Banks Protection Services, needs an extra hand. Guess I’m playing bodyguard this week.
Going back the way I came, I grab an extra cup and pour the black liquid in and head out to meet him at the front door. “Morning, Draven.” Handing him the cup, we take a seat in the chairs on the front porch. “What’s this favor?”
“Always straight to business with you, huh?” I shrug, I don’t like messing around. “You remember how I told you about how Nina and I came to meet?” I nod. Nina was the body double for some whacked out celebrity with a stalker.
“Well, Lorie has a cousin in some trouble, and she recommended us to the woman’s mother. I don’t have all the information yet, we’re still running background checks on both women, but it sounds like she’s picked herself up a stalker too.”
“You need me to go out there?” I assume "there" is Hollywood, and while I’d rather not, for Draven, I would.
“No, but if she could stay here for a couple weeks? We’re fully booked and spread a little thin right now. The pay is more than generous.” I shoot him a look. Money is never the reason I help him, and by the way he’s raising his hands, he knows that too.
“When is she arriving?”
“Seriously?” He’s always shocked when I say yes so quickly, so I simply nod. “She’s on a plane now with her mother and manager. They’ll be landing in a couple of hours.”
“Mother and manager?” I raise a brow in question.
“She’s some sort of pageant girl or something.
They aren’t staying. I wouldn’t do that to you.
” He chuckles, no doubt recalling how he and Nina came to be.
“I told them that over the phone, but they said she can’t travel alone or some B.S.
I don’t think they believed me when I said they couldn’t stay. I’ll be insistent that they leave.”
“How old is she?” The way he’s talking, she sounds underage. Which means the mother, at least, might have to stay.
“Her license says twenty. She can stay by herself. It’ll make protecting her that much easier too. I’ll be back with them in a couple hours. I have some papers for them to fill out at the office, and I’ll have the surface background checks completed for you as well.”
“Sounds good.” I shake his hand as we stand before taking his empty cup. “See you in a bit.” Watching Draven leave, a ball of lead settles in my gut. I already know this is going to be a pain in the ass assignment. If the girl is anything like her cousin, I may come to regret my quick acceptance.
* * *
Monroe
I hate flying. It’s the second-worst part of my life.
Being dragged out to the wilderness of Montana had sounded like a relaxing change.
Especially when I overheard the man tell Mom and Claire that they couldn’t stay.
I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the two of them being told no, and it was amusing with the way they both went red in the face with rage, looking like matching tomatoes.
“Sit up straight, Marilyn.” Mom snaps the words under her breath, so the big man upfront doesn’t hear the censure in her tone.
I’m slightly disappointed that he hasn’t forced Mom and Claire to leave like he told them on the phone. But if I know anything about these two women, it’s that they’re master manipulators. The only reason I’m even here is that my cousin Lorie insisted that this agency was the best.
When Mom was told that the Banks Protective Services had no one available to come to L.A.
, she suggested we come out here. I don’t mind really.
After five minutes in this pure air, I could breathe easier.
I wasn’t feeling as suffocated. My head was no longer spinning the way it has been in recent weeks.
Ever since my sixteenth birthday when I lost Miss California—on purpose—I haven’t had a free moment to myself. Even when I shower, I can’t lock the door. I have no peace and quiet, and frankly, I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this.
I’m an adult. I should be able to do what I want, except I can’t. My mother has spent my entire life beating away my self-esteem and sense of worth. I don’t know who I am without the pageants anymore. I haven’t lost a single one since then.
I practice my ballet every day. Like my life depends on it.
And I’m not all that certain it doesn’t anymore.
If I lose, I’m never sure how she’s going to react.
When I lost Miss California, I wasn’t seen for two weeks.
Just long enough for the pageant world to believe I was a diva and throwing a fit.
In reality, I was worked until I was sick. Until I bled. Until I learned there were far worse pastimes than smiling for the cameras, and what a monster my mother truly is.
“Alright, ladies, here we are.” The man up front smiles back at me and frowns when I don’t reciprocate the gesture. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that smiling about anything is hard when I’ve been forced to do it for so long. If it doesn’t have meaning behind it, I don’t. I can’t.
Slipping out of the vehicle, I breathe in the refreshing mountain air and close my eyes. My lungs open up, and I no longer feel as though I’m suffocating. Green fields flow from the sizeable rustic house and back to the valley leading into the snowcapped mountains.
My mother’s indignant huff ruins the moment.
Claire is glued to her phone as a door slams shut nearby.
My gaze follows the noise, and I notice a gruff, dark-haired man standing on the porch.
He doesn’t look pleased that we’re here.
With the way my mother is eyeing his ranch up, I can’t say I blame him. I wouldn’t want me here, either.
Remaining where I stand beside the car, my eyes admire the beauty of the land. The sounds of nature. The clean air. This is something I could get used to. If only I could escape my mother’s clutches.
The forlorn sound of a cow mooing in the distance grabs my attention, and I’m curious about why he or she sounds so desolate, so I make a move to find out.
Quietly heading towards the back of the house as the strange man glares at Mom, Claire, and Draven, I make a run for it.
Careful that I don’t trip over any holes, snakes, or other obstacles in the way.
Stopping in my tracks as I clear the patio off the back of the house, I see a large white cow by a water barrel and listen as she cries into the sky.
As I walk closer, she must hear me because she turns her head and looks directly at me, staring into my eyes.
I recognize her pain. I feel it in my very soul.
“Who hurt you, pretty girl?” I whisper as I walk up to the steel gates. Not knowing anything about cows or ranch life, I keep my distance. I don’t want to encroach on this man’s land and break some rule I don’t know is in place. I do that enough in L.A.
Her heavy steps wander closer to me, and when she lays her chin in one of the metal rings of the gate, I reach out a hand. Touching her head, I’m surprised at how soft she is. Her eyes close, and I wish I knew what she was thinking.
Taking a small step forward, I continue to scratch her head and explore the area with my eyes. I’ve never been so near to a cow before, and the moment is a bit surreal. It’s a cow, and yet, I feel closer to the large animal than I have with anyone else in my life.
It’s odd, but, strangely, makes complete sense. She’s in pain, and so am I. On some elemental level, we understand each other.
“Dear god, Marilyn, take your hands off that filthy beast,” my mother’s shrill voice calls behind me, ruining the special moment. I ignore her, but the cow can’t and opens her eyes at the newcomer.
I don’t know if cows can glare, but I feel certain she just did, and I can’t help the giggle that bursts free.
“Marilyn!” she barks, and when I turn around, I’m stopped in my tracks as the ranch owner's eyes snare me in their depths. His gaze is narrowed as he watches me from beside the house.
“Sorry, Mother,” I whisper as I take one last look at the tormented cow and stroll back towards the woman I’ve come to loathe.
“We aren’t staying. We’ll find someone else for protection,” she says, gripping my arm so hard I wince. My skin is continually bruised because of the way she is always grabbing me, and the latest one hasn’t healed.
“I’d like to stay, though,” I protest quietly. I know I’ll never win, and we’ll head back to Hollywood, and the lights and smog and so many people. But, for once, I wish my opinion mattered.
“Well, tough. We don’t always get what we want in life.” I’m brought to an abrupt stop as a hand reaches out gently across my belly, holding me in place.
“Let her go,” the masculine voice growls behind me, and I fail at containing my shiver.
“I will not!” My mother's nails dig into my skin, getting tighter with each passing second, and when I feel the skin break, I whimper. “Knock it off, Marilyn,” she hisses.
“You can take your hand off the girl, or I’ll take your hand off your body.” Never in my life have I seen my mother so speechless or pale as her fingers suddenly let me go.
He doesn’t.
He holds me tighter.
Tenderly bringing my arm back to my body, he inspects the new damage mixed with the old as my mother blusters about his threats to Draven. The poor man looks like he’d rather run away.
“Remove them from my property, Draven.” I begin to take a step forward at the rancher's demand when he stops me. “Not you.”
My eyes close of their own accord, and I want to ask so many questions, but I can’t formulate the words. Hearing my mother’s scream as she’s herded back to the car, I sigh a breath of relief. I don’t remember the last time I spent more than a shower length away from her. I need space. Perspective.
I hate the pageant life, and I need to get away from it. From her. I need distance from a life I never wanted, and I won’t get that if I continue to allow her to control my every move.
The problem is, she’s beaten me down so thoroughly that my confidence has dissipated, and I don’t know who I am anymore.